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I am 18 years old.
墨書 Inktalez
Mom died in a car accident,
My brother said in front of everyone that I killed mom,
He even allowed his girlfriend An Jiaojiao to bully me at school.
But just a week ago, he swore to protect me for a lifetime.
An Jiaojiao In order to prevent me from taking the college entrance examination, he forcibly broke all the fingers on my right hand.
But what made me most desperate was the cause of my mother's death, which was actually related to my brother.
I don't understand why, we have been a happy family for ten years!
1
"Look, look, Yu Zhiyao actually showed up for class today."
"Do you think she has no self-respect? She caused such a scene yesterday, and she still has the nerve to show up today."
"Well, being a 'bitch' requires a strong inner strength, which we can't learn even if we try."
I find it hard to pretend not to hear. My classmates' voices are really loud, and no one cares about my feelings.
Since last week, my brother Xia Jinshen publicly announced in front of the whole class that he was cutting ties with me, and loudly declared that I bring bad luck to anyone associated with me, like a jinx.
He stood passionately on the platform and said how he bravely killed his mother.
But just a week ago, he swore to protect me for a lifetime.
At first, he was the one protecting me, but now he's the one pushing me into the abyss.
This week, I have personally experienced the terror of campus bullying, with the ringleader being my brother's girlfriend, An Jiaojiao.
Half a month ago, she was not my brother's girlfriend.
In order to please my brother, she still behaves in a very humble manner in front of me.
Now she's the one tearing up my homework, cutting my hair, and beating me up.
I put on my headphones and turn up the volume, trying my best to ignore their words.
"I heard that her mother used to be a famous socialite in Jiangzhou. She only returned to our small county town after giving birth to Yu Zhiyao. You know what I mean by socialite, right?"
"Oh my, playing around so much, no wonder she ended up dead..."
"What did you say! Do you have the guts to say it again?" I yanked off my headphones and roared, the angry shout echoing in every corner of the classroom.
"What? Are they wrong in what they said?" An Jiaojiao crossed her arms, her expression full of provocation.
I glanced at Xia Jinshen next to An Jiaojiao, his expression was indifferent, as if the person they were talking about had nothing to do with him.
My mother, who has raised and cherished him for 10 years, how can she be so indifferent?
Clearly, just last month today, our family celebrated Xia Jinshen's 18th birthday.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my handsome son!"
"Thank you, Mom, your son will always love you!"
On this day last month, Mom spent a lot of money to buy a double-layer chocolate cake for Xia Jin's birthday.
That's something I've been pestering my mom for 17 years and she still hasn't been willing to buy it for me.
Over the past decade, Mom has always given Xia Jinshen the best, a level of goodness that even her own daughter can't obtain.
"Thank you, Mom and Dad, and also thank you to my little sister. I am grateful to you for giving me a happy home."
I still remember Xia Jinshen's expression when he said this sentence, and now I really feel disgusted thinking about it.
A week ago, I still had a loving mother, a tolerant stepfather, and a brother who unconditionally doted on me.
Especially my brother, even though we are not related by blood, his kindness towards me exceeds that of a biological sibling.
As soon as the bell for noon dismissal rang, An Jiaojiao urged everyone to leave the classroom.
I knew what she was up to. This was the third time this week, especially after I had defied her this morning...
"Let go! Do you believe I'll tell the class teacher?"
"You can tell if you want. Have you forgotten that the head teacher is my uncle, and the class teacher is just a lackey of my uncle? Do you think it's useful for you to tell? I advise you not to waste your effort, otherwise I won't let you off even more."
Yes, An Jiaojiao is right. In our backward mountain village and small county town, having connections is everything. This is also why she dares to bully me so brazenly at school.
I was tortured for a whole hour during a 2 and a half hour nap.
There are countless bruises on my face and body, and the wounds on my arms keep scarring and tearing open repeatedly.
The homeroom teacher saw all of this, as did my classmates, and even my brother with the same household registration book as me saw it all.
But not a single person spoke up for me.
An Jiaojiao I had to stop only when I was hungry, otherwise, my situation would only get worse.
I didn't have time to eat, nor money to eat, so I could only cover my wound and drink a few big mouthfuls of cold water in the bathroom.
Before class in the afternoon, Xia Jinshen and I, with blood all over my face, locked eyes.
This time, he was no longer indifferent. Instead, he walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper as if giving alms, saying, "Hurry up and wipe it off, don't lose my person."
"Xia Jinshen, why are you doing this? I'm your sister!"
I took the afternoon off from class. I'm in such a sorry state that I can't possibly go to class.
The head teacher looked at me with a face full of disdain and without saying a word, gave me a leave slip.
I took out the 4 yuan hidden in my bra, which is all the money I have left.
This 4 yuan can allow me to take the bus to and from the cemetery. This is the only way for me to visit my mom.
A week ago, my mom went with my dad in his truck to deliver goods in another city. The brakes failed halfway, and my mom passed away on the spot. My dad is still in a coma in the hospital.
Since that car accident, Xia Jinshen's attitude towards me has completely changed.
It takes more than 3 hours to travel to and from the cemetery by bus. I quietly watch the people and cars coming and going at the bus station.
I can't care about the fresh blood flowing from the wound, nor do I care at all about the surprised looks from others. At this moment, I just want to see my mother, tell her how much pain and hunger I'm in, tell her how excessive my brother is, tell her how much I miss her...
"Oh, isn't this the female star from Class 7? What's wrong with your face, is it special effects makeup?"
Gu Tianqi, the leader of the grade, is the teacher's standard bad boy.
I can't be bothered with him, especially since everyone knows he's pursuing An Jiaojiao.
"This is all thanks to your goddess."
"An Jiaojiao? How is that possible? Don't blame outstanding people just because you're not good at studying."
It's this kind of talk again, no matter who I tell in school, everyone will just use "An Jiaojiao" to reject me and say that I'm good at it. Does my grade really represent everything? Do I have to learn badly so she can endure all kinds of bullying because of it?!
“Don't believe, don't not believe, anyway in your eyes I'm a shame, I also don't care to argue with you.”
"Yu Zhiyao, you really are a dog, not only cheap but also biting people."
"I'd rather be a dog than be rejected and still write love letters every day like you. You really can't compare to Xia Jinshen in anything."
"Say that again, I dare you!"
When I came back from the graveyard, it was already pitch black.
My family lives in an old residential area not far from the school, which my mom rented for me and Xiajin to accompany our studies.
It's a rundown two-bedroom apartment with a monthly rent of 5,000 RMB. Although the conditions are simple, Xiajin and I each have our own room. My dad often travels out of town for work and is not at home, while my mom has been sleeping on the floor in the living room for the past six months.
Although the conditions of accompanying study in the third year of high school are difficult, my mother has never treated me and Xia Jinshen unfairly. Not only does she cook in various ways every day, but she also takes us out to eat at restaurants from time to time. In order to reduce the burden on my father, my mother also does some handicrafts to sell at a stall to supplement the family's expenses.
But after the incident, Xia Jinshen never went to see my mother even once.
Even Xia Jinshen said that he wanted to use the hospitalization fees to give to dad, and took away all of mom's money at once.
That was the demolition compensation for the house in mom's hometown, and also the only property left to mom by her grandfather.
I can't understand why such a kind mother would end up in such a situation, that was her most beloved son...
The more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for my mother. Tears fall one by one. In the dark and gloomy alley, my crying echoes with the wind.
"Oh, really?"
"Who!?"
The sudden sound startled me.
"I was in a bad mood this afternoon, it wasn't directed at you. I was too impulsive, and I apologize to you."
"Oh, do you have something else to do? If not, please go ahead."
"Oh, are you really crying?"
I quickly wiped away my tears and was about to leave when Gu Tianqi said, "Stop crying, go back and get some rest early."
"Don't worry, I will protect you."
I was confused by Gu Tianqi's words. Is he planning to team up with An Jiaojiao to trick me?
"You must be sick in the head!"
The more I think about it, the more disgusted I feel, because Xia Jinshen once said the same thing to me.
When I got home, Xia Jinshen was sitting on the living room sofa, glaring at me with a face full of hatred.
"Yu Zhiyao, where did you go this afternoon? Who were you talking to downstairs just now?"
Since Mom's accident, Xia Jinshen spoke to me at home for the first time.
"No one."
"I saw everything, and you still won't admit it? Did you really go to a hotel with Gu Tianqi this afternoon? You've really learned your mother's despicable ways!"
"What...what did you say! Say it again! Have the guts to say it again!"
I was furious, so I grabbed the glass from the coffee table and threw it at Xia Jinshen. I acted quickly, and Xia Jinshen didn't have time to dodge.
When I came to my senses, Xia Jinshen's face was already covered in blood, standing still without moving.
How could this happen...
5
"Oh my, how did it end up like this? Siblings shouldn't have such a big grudge."
I screamed in fright, which quickly attracted the attention of the neighbors.
Next door, Grandma Li is a kind and knowledgeable person. She knows about the changes in my family and often brings us braised pork and spare ribs. She treats me and my brother like her own grandchildren.
"He's no longer my brother, never again!"
"Alright, alright, stop talking. I'll take Jinshen to the hospital first. It would be terrible if the wound gets infected."
At night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Although I hate Xia Jin deeply, when I see his bloodied face, I still think of the police taking us to the scene of the accident, and the way my mother looked in the car.
She was sitting there, motionless, her face covered in blood...
The next day when I woke up, Xia Jinshen was already not at home. Judging from the bloodstains on the bathroom floor, Xia Jinshen had come back last night.
When I arrived at school, I felt worried from the unusual sunlight of my classmates.
Sure enough, before I even entered the classroom, I was kicked to the ground by An Jiaojiao.
"Yu Zhiyao, I didn't expect you to be not only despicable but also so vicious. Xia Jinshen is your brother, how could you be so ruthless."
Yes, everyone knows that Xia Jinshen is my brother.
"Apologize! Go and kowtow to Xia Jinshen to apologize, otherwise you won't be able to attend class today."
An Jiaojiao pulled me in front of Xia Jinshen. At this moment, his head was wrapped in gauze, looking like an Arab, with a hint of grievance on his face.
I couldn't help but burst into laughter at this ridiculous and funny sight.
The laughter angered Xia Jinshen, and it angered An Jiaojiao even more. An Jiaojiao raised her arm as usual, ready to strike me in the face.
"Wait a moment!"
A voice came from the classroom door, and Gu Tianqi was standing there with several boys from Class 9.
"What do you want? This is our class's business and has nothing to do with you. Don't meddle in where you don't belong."
"Who said it has nothing to do with me? Listen up, from now on, Yu Zhiyao is mine. I've got her back, so none of you better try to bully her. Do you all understand that clearly?"
"What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?" An Jiaojiao and I spoke at the same time.
Xia Jinshen seemed to be filled with an inexplicable rage, slamming the practice book down and grabbing Gu Tianqi by the collar, ready to start a fight.
Fortunately, the sudden bell for class calmed Xia Jinshen down.
Gu Tianqi even patted my head before leaving, with a gentle touch and a hint of fragrance on the cuff, just like the old Xia Jinshen.
"Gu Tianqi and Yu Zhiyao are together? They don't usually have much interaction."
"Yeah, for real. I underestimated Yu Zhiyao. She's really good at seducing men."
"Either talk about being ugly and playing with flowers, it used to be Xia Jinshen, now it's changed to Gu Tianqi."
...
This math class passed quickly, accompanied by the discussions of classmates, the scene just now kept replaying in my mind.
When the bell rang at noon, Gu Tianqi was waiting for me at the classroom door with a few boys.
Thanks to him, An Jiaojiao didn't dare to do anything to me today. She just glared at me fiercely and left.
At noon, I didn't go home, but was taken to KFC by Gu Tianqi.
6
"What are you doing?"
Gu Tianqi picked up the biggest piece of fried chicken from the plate and handed it to me: "It's Crazy Thursday, do I even need to ask?"
"I meant just now in the classroom."
"I promised to protect you, and I am fulfilling my promise."
"Don't worry, I don't like An Jiaojiao anymore. From now on, I will wholeheartedly protect you."
"Okay..."
"Why do you talk so much? If you keep talking like this, I won't talk to you anymore."
I don't understand what he's up to, but in the current situation, I do need someone to rely on in order not to be bullied. But one day, I will completely rely on myself to protect myself.
In the next few days, Gu Tianqi appeared at the door of our class on time every day after school. The group of troublemakers in the class also didn't dare to do anything to me, and life returned to normal.
That day after school, Gu Tianqi waited for me at the door of my classroom as usual, but I was detained by the math teacher.
My math grades are really bad. In theory, someone with such poor math skills shouldn't study science, but at that time, in order to be in the same class as Xia Jinshen, I stubbornly chose the science track.
Before, Xia Jinshen used to tutor me in math, and my grades were just passable. But in the past month, without Xia Jinshen's tutoring and not paying much attention in class, my math grades have already become unbearable.
My math teacher solemnly told me that if I don't improve my grades, I will at most be able to attend a local junior college for the college entrance examination.
But my family doesn't have the means for me to hire a tutor, and I can't study at home.
"Hey, if you're not good at math, why didn't you say so earlier? I can teach you."
Gu Tianqi Although he loves to fight and cause trouble, his grades in all science subjects are good, especially in mathematics. He always ranks first in his grade and always stays ahead of Xia Jinshen.
"Good!"
It's about my future, I'm clear about it, this time I didn't refuse.
7
I know clearly that if I want to change this kind of life, I can only rely on the college entrance examination.
To leave this place, to create one's own value, this is the only path for me, a native of this small town.
If my mother had finished high school back then, she wouldn't have married my biological father so early, wouldn't have endured domestic violence, wouldn't have suffered endless insults from my grandmother for not giving birth to a son, and wouldn't have remarried repeatedly for the sake of giving me a better life.
So, I want to carry on my mother's legacy, study hard, live well, and rely on myself instead of relying on a man.
"Excuse me, Teacher Li, I would like to request an afternoon off."
The homeroom teacher recognized my voice and responded without even looking up.
"Wow, your homeroom teacher is so nice to you, letting you take leave without even asking? If it were our homeroom teacher, he would scold me to death."
"That's because he couldn't be bothered to deal with me."
Since Gu Tianqi said he would protect me, he has been almost inseparable from me. He waits for me at the classroom door as soon as class ends, and he even waits outside the restroom for me. Thanks to him, I have been able to live peacefully for half a year.
Thanks to his two hours of math tutoring every night, my grades are now good enough to get into a big city's the first choice.
My only wish now is to maintain the status quo until the end of the college entrance examination.
"By the way, are you really okay to take leave now? The midterm exam is coming up soon, and you don't even have enough time to sleep."
"Well, I have to go too. Grandma Li doesn't have any children, and she usually treats me the same as her own granddaughter. Now that she's in the hospital, I definitely have to go see her."
"Okay, be careful on your way and come back early."
As soon as the bell rang at noon, I started packing my school bag. In addition to a few exercise books that needed to be completed, there were also a few anonymous threatening letters inside. This had become a common occurrence since Xia Jin and I had fallen out.
"Oh, not coming in the afternoon? Where are you going? Don't tell me you're going to sweep the grave for your dead mother again."
"An Jiaojiao, everyone has their limits. I hope you accumulate virtue with your words. If you dare mention my mother again, I won't be polite to you."
"You're not welcome? What, do you think you can go against me just because you have Gu Tianqi backing you up? I laugh at you for being such a clown!"
"Alright, let's see who the real clown is in the end. Have you forgotten how you used to grovel in front of me before? When you've been a dog for so long, you forget how to be a human and how to speak properly, right?"
I try my best to imitate An Jiaojiao's tone and respond to her in her own style.
After all, it's impossible to have a reasonable conversation with scum like this.
"Grandma Li, are you feeling better?"
In the crowded ward, there are three hospital beds, with Grandma Li lying in the middle with a cast on her right leg.
"Good child, grandma is fine. You have the college entrance examination coming up soon, why did you come to see me in such a tight time?"
"Grandma, you have always been so good to me, especially after my family had trouble. You treated me like your own granddaughter. I couldn't bear not coming to see you at this time."
"Good child, you must study hard, excel, and become a successful person."
"Grandma, don't worry, I will definitely do it."
"Grandma didn't expect your dad and your brother to be so heartless..."
"Grandma, take good care of yourself and don't worry about us."
"Grandma, let me show you a photo. This was the night I took Jinshen to the hospital, and then this woman came. I heard Xia Jinshen calling her 'mom'."
Mom?! How could this happen?
Didn't Xia Jinshen's mother pass away a long time ago!?
"What's wrong, Zhiyao? You seem completely distracted since coming back from the hospital."
"Gu Tianqi, why do you keep protecting me?"
"Why are you asking this?"
"You say I'm not pretty, I don't have much money, and I'm still a rival to your goddess. Why do you want to protect me? I really can't figure it out."
"Girl, you should know that every man has a strong protective instinct, and you were just in a pitiful state that satisfied my desire to protect, it feels like a big brother giving gifts to a pitiful girl in a live broadcast room."
"Stop acting! I know everything."
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