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墨書 Inktalez
After the rain, the ground is filled with sorrow, melting the disguise of secretly missing you.
The fallen leaves form the shape of longing, but I hold up my umbrella and refuse to look.
Summer rain brings rare coolness, but it doesn't bring the relaxation that every worker hopes for. Money, status, education, fame - these clichéd things, spoken through parents' mouths and job postings, turn our once peaceful lives into chaos.
"Why do you have to persist? Don't you know I'm not cut out for science?" Wang San sits at the table, shouting hoarsely. A sudden call from home informs him that he has to attend a training institute for a new course arranged by his father.
However, having been immersed in classical literature since childhood, Wang San has spent a decade studying humanities, reaching an indescribable level of specialization. If it weren't for brother Dau's remedial help, he might have forgotten even Newton's first law.
But how can someone accustomed to humanities thinking suddenly switch to learning science, a subject opposite to their expertise?
"But you know, Mom, I'm not cut out for this. Does Dad really have to force me to do this to be satisfied?" Wang San sat there, listening to his mother's earnest words, but the eternal theme remained: it's for your own good.
"Mom, please thank Dad for me and tell him not to interfere with me anymore. I know it's a rare opportunity to change my first degree, but why does he have to hold on so tightly? Are these the only paths that can be taken?" What started as a complaint suddenly turned into a burst of anger.
"Are you getting too big for your britches? I've been working for fifteen years, building connections to set you up for the future. Think about it, if it weren't for me, who would be willing to go through all this trouble for you? And you're still thinking about fooling around with girls, have you thought about where you'll go if you leave this place?" The father's resolute voice made Wang San uneasy, and he let out a long sigh.
"Dad, can't you discuss this with me? I mean, even the most disobedient child can understand if you explain it nicely, but the way you're doing this, how can I respond? Have I broken any laws?" Wang San began to argue, using his own internship experience to counter his father, leaving the father on the other end of the phone silent for the first time in a few seconds.
"What do you mean 'I'll figure it out'? Who wouldn't have objections to the way you handle things? How can you turn this into me being unfilial? Don't be so quick to label me." Wang San hung up the phone, leaned back in his chair for a while, then stood up.
"What's wrong? Come, sit down and have some tea, just bought it, sweet." Zhang Xu came over with the tea set, the tea's fragrance filling the air. The raging anger met the gentle touch of the tea, softening the fierce eyes and making them gentler.
"Don't worry, when you're away from home, you have the right to disobey orders, understand?" Liu Shuai imitated Zhuge Liang, holding a feather fan in front of his chest.
Surprisingly, he really looked like Zhuge Liang. It's just that the clothes were missing something.
Zhang Xu immediately affirmed, taking out Wang Shuzeng's "The Long March" from his hand, and earnestly imitating a storyteller, saying that even without the Comintern, the older generation solved the command problem on their own and found the right direction. This made Wang San nod in agreement.
"Yes, foreign potatoes are no different from our own, but with the word 'foreign,' they are outsiders and have to go through customs to enter our fields. They can't compare to our potatoes from the black soil; they'll all die in the ground!" Wang San nodded, as if seeing the light, even though he didn't have much planned for the future. At this moment, having someone understand him seemed more direct than the urging of his family to achieve their goals.
Zhang Xu saw his brother getting on track and squinted, "You really understand your brother."
A cup of tea in the stomach, the anger subsides, the brain that just erupted like a volcano arrives at the beach, quiet,
Temporarily free from the disturbance of parental phone calls, Zhang Xu begins to analyze Wang San. Back then, after crossing the Xiang River, the Red Army lost contact with their superiors. The foreign potatoes decided to continue along the established route, while the locals had already seen through it. After a heated meeting, the marching route was changed, heading towards Liping.
In the face of the dispute over the route, any hesitation is a concession to the enemy. This crucial small county of Liping temporarily allowed the Red Army to escape the tiger's mouth. By the time of the next meeting, the target was already the familiar Zunyi in history.
"The current problem is where is your Zunyi in your heart? How are you going to turn Zunyi into your home ground, completely shutting others up with your mouth? Our instructor is like this, returning to the leadership, leading the revolutionaries forward," Zhang Xu continued to drink tea, smiling, and patted Wang San's shoulder, telling him to think carefully.
Yes, although the next step is unknown, it can still be considered which way to go. Is it the Xiangxi covered with thorns, or continuing along the relatively weak Guizhou of the enemy's strength? Perhaps what is clearly written in history books seems easy to understand, but when we actually experience it, it often becomes something else.
"San'er, how are things with that woman?" Zhang Xu suddenly raised his eyes, grabbing Wang San's gaze, suddenly becoming serious.
"It's... it's okay," Wang San hesitated, recounting the events of that night. Perhaps he was not sure what kind of person Fu Qiyue had encountered. Was he wealthy, a high-ranking official, a seasoned merchant, a renowned figure in the martial arts world, or a strategist in the court?
Zhang Xu Although I am not sure who the blind date partner is, based on my many years of experience, I still calmly sat in the chair and drank a cup of tea, sighed, as if I were divining. I gathered up my beads.
"You say you want to go all the way, or do you want to have a backup plan, so as not to end up with nothing, or have you decided on a path, even if you fall and bleed, you still want to go?"
Facing Zhang Xu's sudden serious inquiry, Liu Shuai stood up from the table, but still imitated the words of Zhuge Liang to Liu Bei in the TV series: "As bold as my lord is, so is my strategy!"
As for Wang San, without a sword or military token, perhaps all that's left is a heart hesitating at the crossroads, capable of burning through the vast universe, supporting his hesitant mind. However, his words seemed lost, as emotions, something that cannot be fully expressed in words, are often conveyed through actions. Yet, he fell short in that simple statement.
Silly, a smiling expression but no words.
Regardless of the path ahead or the hesitations in his heart, he knew he was an intern, and she was the boss's niece, with higher-ups above him. Even if hormones raged fiercely when they met, telling him that it was possible, this seemingly unconfident young man fell silent in front of Zhang Xu.
Perhaps when a buddy helps you with such matters, they are waiting for your stance. But you may not always understand your friend's intentions. Maybe you do understand, but are your actions truly the ideal solution for your friend?
This has always been a mystery.
In the deep forest of dreams, reality welcomed the light, and Fu Qiyue saw the ceiling of her rented room. It turned out that her uncle had already sent her back. There was still a hot meal on the bedside table, her favorite vinegar fish. But she didn't have the appetite now.
If she had foreseen the time and events in advance, perhaps she could have avoided this awkward blind date and continued to work calmly at the crispy chicken shop. If she hadn't met a boy who sneered at her uncle, perhaps there wouldn't have been an argument. Although these thoughts have not yet dissipated, she fell asleep after sorting out her tangled hair.
"No, I didn't see it wrong," Fu Qiyue looked at herself in the mirror with a pair of determined eyes. Although she was not sure whether to entrust her rusty heart to a stranger whose future was uncertain, she knew that a relative blinded by money was not as reliable as a stranger willing to listen to her complaints.
Perhaps when we encounter similar problems, any parental advice may not necessarily be the best answer. People who can understand our emotions and language are often more useful than those hollow and clichéd truths.
Next to the lunch box, there was a note with the familiar handwriting of her uncle: "I'm very sorry to go against your wishes like this, because I also have some difficulties. Your matter with Shaohua is still necessary to pursue. Don't think about someone whose future is uncertain. I don't want you to suffer with such a person. If you insist on doing so, then don't recognize me as your uncle anymore."
One word at a time, short and ruthless, the note was torn to pieces, and Fu Qiyue also began to doubt: "Is it really wrong to like someone?" She looked at herself in the mirror, then looked outside the window. As the night fell, perhaps at this moment, she hoped more than ever that someone would listen to her, just like Bai Jiansheng and Li De Lin, and speak some heartfelt words.
Will he really come? Fu Qiyue asked herself, looking at the surveillance above her, although she was no longer afraid of them.
After Zhang Xu's lengthy and insightful analysis, Wang San set off for a rendezvous with an unknown outcome.
Perhaps her initial call had been answered. In the pavilion where they first met, there was a familiar figure smoking a cigarette. He seemed as lost as she was.
Perhaps out of concern for an awkward visit, Fu Qiyue did not directly call out to the mysterious young man. However, the familiar dopamine signals told her that this was the person she was looking for.
Yes, Wang San also did not understand Zhang Xu's advice. Perhaps he was contemplating whether he would become a stepping stone for the wealthy, but since he had chosen to do this, he believed it was the right thing to do and must continue.
So, the man smoking in the pavilion stood up. He heard footsteps and turned around to bow, showing respect. Indeed, Wang San was waiting for the troubled girl, and the girl was also waiting for a reunion with Wang San.
"You're very punctual. I didn't expect you to come so early," Fu Qiyue said somewhat embarrassed. Although her face remained as calm as before, the tension had visibly relaxed, revealing a cute face. Even without freshening up, it did not affect her confidence in her infatuation.
"Yes, I've been waiting for you. I have a dilemma and I don't know what you think," Wang San said directly, leaving Fu Qiyue momentarily stunned.
"Are you talking about me and that person?" Fu Qiyue sat in the pavilion, seeming to understand Wang San's meaning.
"I am bound by my parents' wishes, and you are bound by the matchmaker's words, so this is also a kind of fate. What do you think?" Wang San changed the subject, suddenly realizing that his cigarette was still lit and instinctively hid it.
"I'm sorry, it's a habit I've had for a while. When I have a lot on my mind, I light one," she apologized.
Fu Qiyue shook her head, "It's okay, everyone has pressure, I don't mind you like this, as for what you said..." Fu Qiyue pulled Wang San to sit down, seeming a bit excited.
"Hey, don't cry," Wang San panicked. Why did this person suddenly start crying? It was the first time he had seen such a big scene, and he was stunned for a moment. His mind went blank, and he reached out his arm like a mechanical arm, hugging the soft girl as much as possible without showing any mercy, although there was still a fist's distance between them.
"Why are you so hands-on?" Fu Qiyue sounded disapproving, but did not resist. Her face showed neither anger nor a smile. She even took advantage of the situation by leaning her head on Wang San's shoulder. Since she was taking advantage, she might as well take full advantage of it!
"Keep holding on, and stay quietly with me for a while," the request made by Fu Qiyue caused Wang San's brain to once again explode like a nuclear bomb.
This also truly plunged Wang San into a void in his brain, with hormones flooding and behaving like a wild beast breaking out of its cage. The numb neurons made his arms stiff like mechanical arms.
"Oh my, this is so unexpected, how am I supposed to handle my blood pressure?" Wang San started breathing rapidly, and he pinched his own face with his other hand: it hurt so much, this couldn't be a dream.
Silly, a smiling expression unable to speak
Secretly, like a camera that captured happiness
Gently, breathing in the air with you by my side
The two of them chatted so much for the first time, from the recent events of the past few days to their respective plans, interests, and hobbies, and then to the vastness of the universe.
Fu Qiyue took a deep breath, looking at the summer night. It seemed like a shooting star streaked across the sky. "The world that is present with companionship is a world I have never seen before."
This statement made Wang San shiver. Yes, the hormones that had been locked in a cage since childhood had never erupted like they did today. Although the two had not confirmed certain things, the bits and pieces of tonight had watered the seeds sown in their hearts enough for them to take root and grow.
"Yes, it's because of these things that we can meet each other, and it's because of tonight that we have such a surprise."
Wang San was speaking, Fu Qiyue was listening, the two of them were so relaxed in the small pavilion, without noise, without disturbance, without outsiders, it seemed that no matter how intimate they were, it didn't matter. But the two of them were not overly affectionate, just leaning on each other, searching for the echo called "heart."
"Perhaps we will have more opportunities, unfinished dreams, and the chance to tell them slowly," Fu Qiyue finally raised her head, but Wang San's hand froze like a mechanical arm. At this moment, his heart was so complicated for the first time.
A piece of white cloud goes leisurely, on Qingfengpu there is endless sorrow. Whose boatman is it tonight? Where is the moonlit tower of lovesickness?
Perhaps every man and woman who miss each other, like Wang San and Fu Qiyue, do not necessarily expect traditional wealth, status, or appearance. Perhaps it's just the moment when the rusted heart in reality starts beating again, that the right answer has already surfaced...
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