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Waiting for You to Say You Love Me
墨書 Inktalez
"You damn child, where have you hidden? Get out here!" The heavy panting was accompanied by the sound of crashing into the table and things falling to the ground. "Get out... you dead child..." The tongue, stiffened and unresponsive from long-term alcohol exposure, slurred curses. "If you don't come out, if you don't come out, I swear I'll..." "Bang... crash..." Stumbling again, she bumped into the bedpost, knocking over a string of beaded curtains she had just tried to put on.
Seeing her mother, holding a bottle of alcohol with bloodshot eyes and swaying as she approached the corner where she was hiding, Liu Qianqian immediately shrank her neck and pressed her face tightly against her curled-up knees, instinctively covering her head with her thin hands. She knew an inevitable beating was about to begin. The ten-year-old child no longer resisted with tears; all that remained was a numb endurance. Although the old scars on her body had not completely healed, new ones would surely cover them up. Yet she only hoped her mother wouldn't bruise her face again, fearing ridicule from classmates for looking like a "blue potato."
"Why aren't you crying? Huh?... Why aren't you crying? You damn child?" Her mother shouted anxiously, mercilessly pinching her flesh anywhere she could, venting her inner grievances and resentment. "Cry! Cry! Are you just like him? Do you also despise me like he does?" "Say something! Say something! Say something..." Liu Qianqian's innocent and sorrowful gaze, along with her tight-lipped silence, further provoked her mother's nearly insane emotions. The love for her daughter, the hatred for that man, and the pain of feeling powerless to change it gnawed at her already sensitive nerves.
Liu Qianqian's endurance only deepened her mother's torment, driving her to frantically pull at her daughter's hair and skin. Strands of hair stuck to her lips; in frustration and disgust, she yanked them back behind her head, making all of Liu Qianqian's hair even more disheveled in the process.
Finally exhausted from the beating, her mother gasped for breath and, as usual, collapsed onto the dirty low table after cursing and crying about her husband's cruelty before falling asleep. Liu Qianqian emerged from the dark corner, gently wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, and hurriedly covered her mother with a thin blanket that had long since gone cold. With hands resembling chicken feet stained with blood, she tidied up her mother's messy hair, revealing a face marred by tears and dirt. She quietly stared at her mother's face; how beautiful it once was!
In her memory, her mother's face had always been delicate and smooth, especially its fairness. Her whiteness was different from others; it was not only transparent and clean with veins faintly visible but also had a baby-like rosy hue. Thus, under the relentless charm offensive of Liu Qianqian's father and his persistent "sticky tactics," he had driven away countless competitors who were far better off than him and finally conquered this porcelain-doll-like woman.
"Ouch... Mmm... Hmph..." Her mother stirred uncomfortably in sleep; she must be suffering through an uncomfortable dream as well, as evidenced by the changing groans escaping her lips.
"Sigh!" Liu Qianqian couldn't help but let out a sigh that was not appropriate for someone of her age. She gently pulled the empty bottle from her mother's grasp and placed it behind the door; recently too busy with school to clean up, it had already piled up with two large black garbage bags full of bottles. Turning back around, she curled up at her mother's feet and lightly rested on her extended calf; in reality, she wasn't pressing down at all—she certainly wouldn't add any burden to her mother. She never hated or feared her; she only felt pity for her. Her mother used to be so beautiful—at least in Liu Qianqian's eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
"Sigh! If only Dad didn't..." Liu Qianqian couldn't help but sigh again at the thought of her father.
"Qianqian! Daddy's home!" Her father would always come home from work each day shouting sweetly and joyfully.
"Princess Qianqian, Daddy is here to greet you! Why are you ignoring me?" Whenever Liu Qianqian pretended not to hear him while pouting, he would always lean in affectionately. Bending down with a smile, he would gently tap her little nose; then she would grab his big hand and climb onto his back along her arm. At that moment, he would carry her around the house in circles while she squealed with delight. Meanwhile, their mother would sit on the sofa watching them with crescent-shaped eyes smiling occasionally.
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