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墨書 Inktalez
I brought the dog home.
I named it Pipi.
Pipi, Duo'er.
【2022-11-10】
Acheng has not come home for ten days.
He has never done this before.
In the past, he would come home at least once every three days.
But this time, he has been gone for ten days.
I don't know if it's because of work or because of Yong Nan.
I feel a bit sad inside.
But I didn't call to ask him.
I'm afraid of disturbing him.
At night, I lie in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
I took out my phone and scrolled through my social media feed.
The first post was a photo of Yong Nan.
In the photo, she is wearing a sexy spaghetti strap dress, holding a wine glass.
Behind her is a lively party.
Standing next to her is Acheng.
Acheng looks at her with gentle eyes.
I think he must love her.
Looking at that photo, my heart aches.
My finger lingered on the photo.
I hesitated for a moment but ultimately hit the like button.
【2022-11-15】
Today, I took Pipi out to play.
While passing by the post station, I conveniently picked up a package.
I didn't wait for Acheng to come home.
I was afraid he would worry.
I carried Pipi upstairs by myself.
Pipi was very well-behaved and light.
However, I still felt very tired.
Recently, I have been getting tired easily.
Lying in bed, I quickly fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was already very late.
Acheng still hadn't returned.
I lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
I started thinking about Acheng again.
I know I shouldn't feel this way.
Between us, there is a Yong Nan.
There is an insurmountable barrier between us.
But I just can't help but think of him.
[2022-11-20]
The doctor called me again.
He advised me to be hospitalized for treatment.
He said my condition could not be delayed any longer.
I refused.
I never intended to live to the late stage of stomach cancer.
It’s so painful.
The pain is slowly consuming me.
I don’t want Acheng to see me like this.
I want to leave this world before the pain knocks me down.
At least that way, I can retain some dignity.
At least in Acheng’s memory, I will always be beautiful.
【2022-11-30】
Today, Acheng came back.
He looked at me with a somewhat complicated expression.
He said, “Duo'er, you’ve lost weight.”
I touched my face.
I have indeed lost weight.
Recently, whenever I eat, I always end up vomiting.
The doctor said it’s a normal phenomenon.
I think Acheng must have noticed.
He noticed that I’ve lost weight.
But he didn’t ask anything.
Maybe he guessed something.
Maybe he doesn’t know at all.
I didn’t tell him.
I just smiled and said, “I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.”
Acheng didn’t say anything more.
At night, we lay in bed, each covered with our own blankets.
I turned my back to him, closed my eyes, and pretended to be asleep.
I heard the sound of him tossing and turning.
I knew he wasn't asleep either.
There was a distance between us.
This distance was short, yet long.
Short enough that we shared the same bed.
Long enough that we couldn't embrace.
Tonight, there was a banquet.
Acheng went.
I went too.
At the banquet, I saw Acheng.
And Yong Nan.
They stood together, a perfect match of talent and beauty.
A crowd surrounded them.
They laughed and talked, creating a lively atmosphere.
Meanwhile, I stood alone in the corner.
No one noticed me.
And no one came over to say a word to me.
I felt like a transparent person.
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