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墨書 Inktalez
She asked me sadly, "Does it hurt?"
I nodded.
I coughed up a mouthful of blood.
She immediately started crying.
I was a bit surprised.
She didn't know me, and we had no connection. Why would she be sad about my pain?
She cried helplessly, tears streaming down her face.
As I watched her tears and listened to her sobs, I suddenly felt warmth.
I had grown accustomed to pain.
I had grown accustomed to insomnia.
I had also grown accustomed to the suffering of not being able to confide in anyone.
But still, I wanted someone to listen to my pain.
"It hurts so much, Min Miao."
"Where does it hurt? Is it here?"
She hurriedly helped wipe the blood from the corner of my mouth.
"No."
I shook my head.
"It hurts here."
I pointed to my heart.
Min Miao was stunned.
"I can't sleep well every night."
"When I close my eyes, it feels like a long needle is stabbing into my head, constantly stirring my brain."
"I feel so uncomfortable, but I can't fall asleep."
"When I can't sleep, I think of things from the past."
"I remember those things that make me uncomfortable, and then I can't sleep even more."
"Every day, I repeat this process."
"My head hurts, my stomach hurts, my whole body hurts."
"I can't take it anymore."
"I really can't take it anymore."
As I spoke, a tear slowly slid down the corner of my eye.
This tear fell silently in the cold air.
Just like my heart at this moment.
Min Miao's tears fell again.
She cried like a child.
She didn't know what to say, only able to look at me with tears streaming down her face.
I covered my face, and tears flowed through my fingers.
"I don't know how to go on living every day."
"I don't know who to talk to. My parents have their own lives, and they're busy enough. My sister... my brother-in-law is still in the hospital, and I don't dare to tell them."
"Xiao Cheng... it's even less likely with Xiao Cheng. He's busy planning a future for Yong Nan."
"I really, really don't know what to do."
27
I took painkillers and then sleeping pills, lying on the sofa.
I didn't go to the hospital.
What would I go to the hospital for?
Treatment?
I don't want treatment.
I don't want to waste the remaining time in the hospital.
I don't want my last days to be spent in painful treatments.
If the outcome is the same, then I don't care about the process.
I just want to feel a little less pain.
I just want to leave peacefully.
I slept deeply.
Pipi lay beside the sofa, keeping watch over me.
When I woke up, I turned on the TV and watched a boring variety show.
Pipi lay on my legs, quietly keeping me company.
Min Miao knocked on the door and came in, bringing me breakfast.
"Yun Duo, it's time to eat."
"Thank you."
I took the bowl and chopsticks, but I couldn't eat a single bite.
Min Miao watched me with a worried expression: "Yun Duo, how did you lose so much weight?"
I touched my face, which felt bony.
I smiled and said, "It's good to lose weight; consider it a diet."
Min Miao's eyes turned slightly red: "Yun Duo, how did you lose weight so quickly?"
"Maybe it's because I haven't eaten much," I replied lightly. "I don't have much of an appetite."
"You need to eat more."
"Yeah." I responded but still couldn't swallow anything.
Days passed by.
I was getting thinner and thinner.
My skin was becoming yellower, and my hair was getting sparser.
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