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I smiled and nodded.
Gu Chenxuan's body, under my care, improved day by day. From lying down to sitting up, and then to being able to walk. I attended to him closely, hardly leaving his side.
Watching Gu Chenxuan regain his health day by day brought me great comfort. As Gu Chenxuan's condition improved, Father Gu and Mother Gu also trusted me more. Gu Chenxuan was no longer as distant and polite as he had been when he first woke up; I sensed that some feelings were changing. I noticed that Gu Chenxuan began to intentionally and unintentionally make contact with me.
He would let me grind ink while he read, and he would ask me to serve dishes during meals. He even asked me to read stories to him during his afternoon rest. Occasionally, he would invite me to play chess with him.
We went from being strangers at first to gradually becoming familiar with each other. I couldn't tell when it started, but Gu Chenxuan's gaze towards me deepened over time. When we were alone together, there was a hint of ambiguity between us. He would quietly hold my hand while I read to him, and during meals, he would serve me food. Even when I helped him clean his body, he would blush.
I knew that he had developed feelings for me, but I could not respond to him. Not only because I was forced into marriage by the Lin family, but also because our marriage was nothing more than a farce. Our identities were worlds apart, and I dared not fantasize about being a true couple with him.
I only thought about how I could leave once he fully recovered.
I stayed by Gu Chenxuan's side every day, sharing the same bed with him.
My relationship with Gu Chenxuan was no longer as simple as it once was.
But my heart could not give Gu Chenxuan any response.
Until one day, Gu Chenxuan finally confessed his feelings to me.
I sat in front of the vanity, removing the hairpin I wore during the day, while he stood behind me and took out a magnolia-shaped hairpin from his sleeve.
"Xiaoxiao, I like you. I want to be a real husband with you and spend the rest of my life together. Will you accept my feelings?"
At that moment, it felt as if something had struck my heart.
I wanted to tell Gu Chenxuan that I was willing.
But the words turned into a rejection before they could leave my lips.
"I'm sorry, I can't agree to that."
Gu Chenxuan looked at me, his eyes filled with hurt.
But he did not try to persuade me again.
From that moment on, it felt like there was an invisible wall between us.
He no longer talked to me as freely as before.
He would not care for me in the same way he used to.
He even began to deliberately avoid me.
But I could not blame him.
I knew he was resenting me.
Yet he never considered driving me away.
He just didn't want to see me anymore.
I understood that, in the end, he still couldn't bear to part with me.
In the blink of an eye, I had been at the Gu Family for over a year.
Now I have established myself in the Gu Family. Father Gu and Mother Gu are increasingly satisfied with me. They offer me help when I encounter problems and mediate when conflicts arise between Gu Chenxuan and me. Especially Mother Gu, who treats me like her own daughter. She teaches me needlework, how to dress myself, and how to be a proper young lady.
I wish my mother were like her. The moment that thought crossed my mind, I was startled awake; I cannot forget that this is not my own home. Ultimately, I will have to leave, and I should not entertain such thoughts.
Currently, Gu Chenxuan is no different from an ordinary person. He no longer avoids me as he did when I initially rejected him. I feel he might think that eventually, I will accept him. I notice he is gradually entering my life—he comes to inform me when he goes out on errands, occasionally takes me to the countryside for outings, sits beside me reading while I do embroidery, and sometimes even goes shopping with me.
The bond between us deepens through these interactions. Yet my heart remains hesitant to respond to him. I fear that I will let him down. More so, I fear that he will despise me and abandon me once he learns the truth about why I came to the Gu Family.
I can only pretend that I know nothing. I thought this kind of life would continue indefinitely. But one day, the Lin family came knocking at our door. After hearing that Gu Chenxuan's health was gradually improving, they started coming over quietly asking for money.
I don't know if it's insecurity or if I just don't want Gu Chenxuan to discover these disgusting people and my unbearable past.
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