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The cafeteria was already closed, so I personally ran to the kitchen to make him a bowl of vegetable and egg noodles.
When Jiang Xiaoyu came to find me after taking a shower, I was making ginger soup.
"Take it yourself."
Without turning my head, I said, "Remember to bring the bowl back when you're done; I need it for steaming egg custard tonight."
He silently carried the bowl over and sat down at the table beside me.
I held a spoon, stirring the ginger soup while asking him, "Is it enough? If not, there's more in the pot."
He didn't respond.
I turned to look at him.
He had his eyes downcast, quietly sitting there eating noodles, like a little abandoned puppy.
My heart inexplicably tightened as I suddenly recalled the first time I met him.
At that time, he had just returned from out of town with Zhang Tingting, and their sibling relationship was very poor. Zhang Tingting always found him a nuisance and loved to bully him for no reason.
That day it was raining outside, and he had argued with Zhang Tingting and ran out crying.
In the evening, he came back drenched from the rain, his face pale and shivering all over. I stood at the door and saw him looking cold.
I went back to the kitchen, filled a bowl with noodles, and another with ginger soup, calling him over to eat.
He looked at me with his big dark eyes, quiet and clear, cautiously asking, "Is it okay?"
I nodded, "Of course."
"Then can I come to eat every day?"
I nodded again.
He was very happy and picked up the bowl, eating heartily.
From that day on, he always followed me wherever I went.
I asked him why, and he said it was because Sister Song Jia was the best person in the world to him.
He was too young to understand what liking or loving meant.
But he knew he liked following Sister Song Jia, liked being with her, and liked seeing her smile.
He wanted to be with Sister Song Jia forever.
For this ridiculous idea, he even went to ask Uncle Song and Aunt Song if they could adopt him.
Uncle Song and Aunt Song were taken aback for a moment, then burst into laughter.
Uncle Song patted his head and joked, "Adoption won't work; our Song Jia isn't married yet. If we adopt you, who would dare to marry her in the future?"
"How about this: I'll promise Song Jia to you as a wife. When you both grow up, you can get married. How does that sound?"
Jiang Xiaoyu blushed.
He thought Uncle Song's words were absurd, but deep down, he felt inexplicably happy.
That night, he dreamed that he was marrying Sister Song Jia.
He was wearing a black suit, and Sister Song Jia was in a white wedding dress. They walked hand in hand down the red carpet, surrounded by many people who were all smiling at them.
He felt very happy, but when he woke up, he felt embarrassed and ashamed.
He didn't understand why he had such a dream; after all, it was just a joke made by Uncle Song.
Even if Uncle Song really wanted to marry Sister Song Jia to him in the future, Sister Song Jia might not be willing.
After all, Sister Song Jia had always regarded him as a younger brother.
After graduating from middle school, Jiang Xiaoyu no longer stayed with us.
After her mother married Zhang Tingting's father, she had always wanted to have another child but had not succeeded despite trying for many years.
Later, she went to the hospital for an examination and found out that she was infertile, which made her completely lose hope.
But not long after, she unexpectedly discovered that she was pregnant again.
For her, Jiang Xiaoyu's existence felt like a shame.
She didn't like Jiang Xiaoyu; in fact, she even hated him and always tried to make things difficult for him.
After the high school entrance exam, Zhang Tingting went to Jibei for the summer vacation. When she returned again, it was already time for a family dinner.
Jiang Xiaoyu had also come back, but this time, he clearly seemed troubled.
I asked him what was wrong, but he didn't say anything.
Uncle Song and Aunt Song exchanged a glance, silently agreeing not to ask any further questions.
After I went to college with Zhang Tingting, Jiang Xiaoyu also applied for accommodation. I rarely saw him, and the only time I did was during New Year's Day.
That day, Zhang Tingting had some kind of conflict with her dad and left home with her backpack.
Worried about her safety, Jiang Xiaoyu followed her without hesitation.
Zhang Tingting wanted to go to a bar to drink, but at that time, Jiang Xiaoyu was still under eighteen and couldn't enter a bar.
With no other option, she ran to a convenience store to buy a bunch of alcohol and dragged Jiang Xiaoyu along to drink.
Zhang Tingting had a low tolerance for alcohol; she hadn't had much before she started going wild under its influence.
She wrapped her arms around Jiang Xiaoyu's neck, crying so hard she could barely catch her breath: "Why doesn't he want me? What's wrong with me? Why did he break up with me?"
Jiang Xiaoyu listened quietly, sitting there expressionless like an emotionless statue.
He didn't know what to say because he understood that feeling.
He empathized with Zhang Tingting's pain because he had experienced it too.
Even more painfully than Zhang Tingting.
"I liked him so much and gave him so much; why doesn't he want me?"
"He said I was too young and didn't understand what love is, but I'm already eighteen! I'm an adult!"
"Why does he have the right to not want me? Why..."
Zhang Tingting cried uncontrollably, her words becoming incoherent.
Jiang Xiaoyu sat quietly, his heart tightening with each beat, almost unable to breathe from the pain.
He wanted so much to tell Zhang Tingting that he had also experienced that kind of suffering.
He wanted to tell Zhang Tingting that he truly understood her feelings.
Even more, he wanted to tell Zhang Tingting—
Look, I am also eighteen.
But he couldn't.
He couldn't say anything at all.
Jiang Xiaoyu would never forget that day.
That day, he and Zhang Tingting had stayed at the convenience store drinking until two in the morning. During that time, Song Jia and her boyfriend had come looking for them once, seeing the two of them drunkenly hugging each other, their expressions awkward and helpless.
He forced a smile and waved casually at Song Jia, "Sister Song Jia, long time no see."
Zhang Tingting was still rambling on, "Why doesn't he want me? What's wrong with me? Can't I change...?"
Jiang Xiaoyu's heart ached with each beat, the pain almost numbing.
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