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墨書 Inktalez
While organizing the batch of extracurricular books donated by Gao Yang, Jiang Xiaoyu finally couldn't help but ask me.
"Why did you break up with Gao Yang back then?"
I gently smoothed out the damaged book in my hands. "It wasn't because I didn't like him when we broke up."
"Then why didn't you get back together?"
"Because I stopped liking him."
Jiang Xiaoyu's hand trembled slightly. He fell silent for a moment, then mustered the courage to ask, "What if someone offered you an unweighed affection, someone you never thought of? Would you consider it?"
Without hesitation, I replied, "I would."
Jiang Xiaoyu suddenly stood up, but having squatted for too long, his calves went numb, and he fell into the box filled with books.
I was startled and, coming back to my senses, found his awkward appearance amusing, so I squatted down beside him.
As Jiang Xiaoyu got back on his feet, I reached out to pull him up.
Our hands clasped together, and it felt as if something struck Jiang Xiaoyu's heart in that instant.
Thump thump thump—
He felt his heart racing faster than ever before.
"Song Jia," Jiang Xiaoyu called me in a hoarse voice.
"Mm?" I responded, but suddenly lost my balance due to Jiang Xiaoyu's pull.
Jiang Xiaoyu hurriedly caught me.
But the box couldn't withstand the weight of two people and was completely crushed.
Jiang Xiaoyu hit his head a bit hard and felt a little dizzy for a moment.
A heart was bouncing chaotically at the bottom of his chest.
I silently sat up and leaned against the bookshelf.
Jiang Xiaoyu also sat up, facing me.
He lowered his gaze, and I couldn't see the expression in his eyes.
After a long while, he finally spoke, "Did you guess it?"
I sighed softly, "I'm not stupid; how could I not guess?"
Jiang Xiaoyu seemed to want to laugh, but tears fell first.
"Do you think I'm a pervert?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because..." Jiang Xiaoyu's voice grew quieter, "You always see me as your younger brother, but I have these thoughts about you. It feels wrong."
"When did I ever see you as just a younger brother?"
"I only see you as a younger brother, not my real younger brother."
Jiang Xiaoyu suddenly raised his head, tears still in his eyes.
"So..." he asked cautiously, "You don't think I'm a pervert?"
I was speechless: "Do you think I look like a pervert?"
Jiang Xiaoyu shook his head, then nodded.
I was so angry I laughed: "You're the one who's a pervert."
"That's not what I meant," Jiang Xiaoyu explained in a flustered manner. "I just feel that your attitude towards me is no different from how you treat other boys, so I..."
"So you what?"
"So I feel disgusting." Jiang Xiaoyu lowered his head, his voice getting softer.
I didn't know what to say.
I never expected Jiang Xiaoyu would think like this.
In my impression, Jiang Xiaoyu had always been an optimistic, cheerful, and positive boy.
He was sunny, kind, sincere with others, and very grateful.
How could such a boy think of himself as disgusting?
I felt a bit uncomfortable inside.
I reached out and gently touched Jiang Xiaoyu's hair.
Jiang Xiaoyu was taken aback and looked up at me.
"Don't be afraid," I smiled slightly at him. "I won't look down on you for liking me."
Jiang Xiaoyu's pupils slightly contracted, and a look of shock appeared on his face.
"You..." he asked with a trembling voice, "do you know?"
"Yeah." I nodded, "I've known for a long time."
Jiang Xiaoyu's gaze dimmed: "Then you..."
"I'm actually quite happy about it." My smile deepened a bit, "After all, being liked by you proves that I'm pretty outstanding."
Jiang Xiaoyu was completely stunned.
He stared at me blankly, unable to say a word for a long time.
I felt a bit embarrassed under his gaze: "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Jiang Xiaoyu swallowed hard and spoke with difficulty: "What you mean is..."
"What I mean is," I interrupted him, "I will consider accepting your feelings."
Jiang Xiaoyu's breathing suddenly became rapid.
His cheeks flushed quickly, his eyes widened in surprise, staring at me intently.
I felt uneasy under his gaze: "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Jiang Xiaoyu suddenly lunged forward, pinning me down onto the pile of books, holding me tightly.
"Song Jia..." His voice was thick with emotion, "I really... really like you."
I closed my eyes and let Jiang Xiaoyu hold me.
I could feel Jiang Xiaoyu's body trembling slightly.
He is crying.
I reach out and gently wrap my arms around his waist.
"I know," I say, "I know everything."
Jiang Xiaoyu cries even harder.
"I'm really scared," he says, "I'm afraid you hate me, afraid you think I'm disgusting, afraid you don't want to see me again..."
"How could I hate you?" I softly comfort him, "I like you too much for that."
Jiang Xiaoyu lifts his head, looking at me with tear-filled eyes.
"Really?" he asks, half in disbelief.
"Yes," I nod seriously, "really."
Jiang Xiaoyu stares at me for a long time before finally breaking into a smile.
"That's great," he says, hugging me tightly, "I'm really so happy."
I pat his back and say, "Alright, get up quickly. If this goes on, you'll break my bones."
Jiang Xiaoyu hurriedly stands up and pulls me up as well.
He looks at me awkwardly, appearing at a loss for what to do.
I can't help but laugh, "What kind of expression is that?"
"I..." Jiang Xiaoyu scratches his head, "I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything if you don't know what to say." I ruffled his hair, "Let's go eat first."
"Okay." Jiang Xiaoyu nodded obediently and followed me out of the library.
After dinner, I returned to my dorm, lying on my bed, tossing and turning unable to sleep.
All I could think about was Jiang Xiaoyu's face.
His bright smile, his aggrieved expression, his crying face, his nervous demeanor...
I felt like I was doomed.
I had actually fallen for Jiang Xiaoyu.
I thought about it for a long time and finally decided to message Jiang Xiaoyu.
[Are you asleep?]
Jiang Xiaoyu replied almost instantly: [Not yet.]
Me: [I want to see you.]
Jiang Xiaoyu: [I'll be right there.]
Five minutes later, there was a knock on my door.
I jumped off the bed and ran to open the door.
Jiang Xiaoyu was standing at the entrance, still in his pajamas.
I pulled him inside, closed the door, and then directly threw myself into his arms.
Jiang Xiaoyu was startled and quickly hugged me, asking, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I replied softly. "I just wanted to hold you."
Jiang Xiaoyu smiled, lowered his head, and rubbed his chin against my forehead.
"I feel the same way," he said. "I want to hold you too."
I lifted my head to look at him.
In the dim light, Jiang Xiaoyu's eyes appeared particularly bright.
I couldn't help but reach out and touch his face.
Jiang Xiaoyu's skin was smooth and delicate, making it hard to resist.
As I caressed his face, I suddenly felt a rush of emotions.
I leaned in and gently kissed his lips.
Jiang Xiaoyu's body stiffened.
His breath became heated, and his heart raced wildly.
He extended his tongue and tentatively licked my lips.
I opened my mouth to welcome his tongue.
Our tongues intertwined, exchanging saliva.
I could feel Jiang Xiaoyu's body growing hotter, and his breathing becoming more rapid.
I released Jiang Xiaoyu's lips and softly asked, "Do you... want to stay?"
Jiang Xiaoyu looked at me, his eyes somewhat confused.
My face turned red.
I knew that by saying this, I was essentially extending an invitation to Jiang Xiaoyu.
And I wasn't sure if Jiang Xiaoyu would accept my invitation.
After all, there was no foundation of romance between us.
I didn't even know if Jiang Xiaoyu would think I was being too frivolous.
Just as I was feeling anxious, Jiang Xiaoyu suddenly spoke up.
His voice was deep and slightly hoarse. "I want to," he said.
I lifted my head, surprised to look at him.
Jiang Xiaoyu smiled gently at me: "I want to stay."
My heart began to race wildly.
I felt as if a warm current was surging through my body.
I reached out my hand and tightly embraced Jiang Xiaoyu. Jiang Xiaoyu also held me tightly. We just held each other, unwilling to let go.
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