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墨書 Inktalez
"Did you see everything?" Shen Yulin asked tentatively.
"I saw it all," I replied calmly.
"I can explain..." Shen Yulin began to say, but was interrupted by my four words: "It's not important anymore."
I maintained a calm expression, while Zhang Yun and Cheng Haifeng clearly did not expect my reaction. Liao Jian understood the situation, so he remained silent, and the atmosphere became awkward.
I wasn't sure if my response was too harsh, but I knew he didn't belong to me. He could find someone else at any time; he wasn't lacking in lovers, while I only loved him.
Shen Yulin opened his mouth but couldn't find the words. Liao Jian glanced at him and said to me, "Get some rest; we can talk about everything else once you're feeling better." I looked at him gratefully and said, "Thank you, I'll be fine for class next week."
After chatting for a while longer, they left. Just as I was about to return to my room to do my homework, the doorbell rang again. I opened the door curiously and found Shen Yulin back again. Surprised by his return, I asked, "Do you need something?" Shen Yulin sat on the sofa in silence. I closed the door and poured him a glass of water. "So, what do you want?"
"Xingxing, you've misunderstood me," he said seriously as he looked at me.
"Whether it's a misunderstanding or not doesn't matter anymore," I replied lightly.
"I rejected her confession; she just asked if she could have a hug as a last request. That's all," Shen Yulin sighed after speaking. "I didn't expect you to see it and misunderstand." He thought that with his explanation, I would return to how things were before, but when he looked up and saw my face, his heart sank. He didn't expect me to remain so calm, as if listening to a story; he felt lost.
"Shen Yulin, honestly, after seeing that day, I didn't feel much—like watching a movie without much emotion," I said quietly. "For me, meeting you is truly wonderful. I admit that I like you; because I like you, I feel insecure every day. When a girl gets close to you, I become suspicious. I hate this side of myself; it's not the real me, but I don't know how to handle this relationship."
Shen Yulin listened quietly to what I said and seemed to have made a decision as he stood up and opened the door to leave.
I sat on the sofa motionless; after saying those words, I felt much more at ease. I silently mocked myself; we probably wouldn't get close again from now on. I didn't believe Shen Yulin couldn't understand the meaning behind my words; since he couldn't make up his mind, I'd take charge of our relationship. I wanted to be the guide in this emotional journey rather than being led along.
And so we really didn't speak anymore; we were like the most familiar strangers. Even when walking face-to-face, I would look straight ahead as if I hadn't seen him, even though I knew his gaze was always on me. But I couldn't acknowledge it; perhaps over time he would come to like someone else—perhaps he wouldn't miss me at all.
Zhang Yun thought that I'd last at most a month in this state, but unexpectedly this relationship continued until the new semester began. Not long after the start of the third year of junior high school, on the eve of the Mid-Autumn Festival, all the students were very excited because a celebrity was coming to give a speech at school that day. The school required all students and teachers to gather in front of their classrooms after the first period in the afternoon to attend the lecture in the auditorium. For students our age, who came to speak didn't matter; what mattered most was that we didn’t have classes that day.
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