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墨書 Inktalez
2
After coming out of the train station, I followed Xu Zhiyuan into a taxi.
"Zhiyuan, where are we going?"
"Home."
"Home?"
"Back to my rented apartment."
"Why not go directly to the hospital?"
"I told you, I just got discharged."
"But you..."
"I'm currently undergoing the First Round of Chemotherapy and need to wait for the results. If it goes well, then I'll proceed to the second phase."
"What if it doesn't go well?"
Xu Zhiyuan smiled and said, "Then I won't do it."
"What happens if you don't do it?"
"I'll die."
I couldn't hold back any longer and burst into tears in Xu Zhiyuan's arms.
"Baby, don't cry," Xu Zhiyuan patted my back, "Don't cry."
I cried even louder.
Xu Zhiyuan didn't say anything more; he just held me tightly in his embrace.
When we arrived downstairs at Xu Zhiyuan's place, I got out of the car with him.
"Baby, wait for me here for a moment; I'm going to buy something."
"Okay."
Xu Zhiyuan left.
I stood there, surveying the surroundings.
Xu Zhiyuan's rented apartment was quite old, and the nearby environment was poor.
However, I remembered he had mentioned before that although the conditions were bad, the transportation was convenient; it only took twenty minutes to get to his company.
After half an hour, Xu Zhiyuan finally returned.
He was carrying a large bag of items.
"Why did you take so long?"
"There were quite a few people; I had to wait in line for a bit."
"Why didn't you call me to go with you?"
"There are so many people; I'm afraid you'll get tired." Xu Zhiyuan held something in one hand and took my hand with the other as we entered the elevator.
"Baby, you need to stay with me here for the next couple of days."
"Okay."
"This place is a bit simple; don't mind it."
"I don't mind."
"You can stay here for now, and after the exam, you can go back home."
"Alright."
When we arrived at Xu Zhiyuan's place, I looked around his living space. It was a bit messy, as if it hadn't been tidied up in a long time.
"It's so messy here."
"I haven't stayed here recently."
"Where have you been staying?"
"The hospital."
"When do you need to go to the hospital?"
"It depends on the situation."
"I'll go with you."
"Okay."
I had checked online about Advanced Colon Cancer treatment. The doctor said that chemotherapy was the main treatment, but the chances of a cure were very slim. In other words, Xu Zhiyuan had no hope. Just thinking about this made my tears flow uncontrollably.
"Baby, don't cry," Xu Zhiyuan said with a smile as he pinched my cheek. "I don't need to go for chemotherapy recently; I'm waiting for the results. I've found a part-time job that I can do from home, so I can be with you while we wait for your exam results."
"Okay."
That night, I settled in at Xu Zhiyuan's place. He seemed calm and showed no signs of being ill. I tried my best to remain calm as well, not wanting to affect him.
The next day, I started looking for jobs nearby. I couldn't just sit around; I needed to find something to do. During the day, I sent out resumes and went to interviews, keeping myself busy.
In the evening, when I returned home, I deliberately spoke to Xu Zhiyuan in a light tone: "I went for an interview today."
"How is it?"
"I'm still waiting for the results."
"You’re really amazing."
"Of course!"
"Baby..." Xu Zhiyuan said softly, "I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing to me for?"
"Nothing."
"Xu Zhiyuan, just say what you need to say, don’t beat around the bush."
"Nothing." Xu Zhiyuan smiled, "Baby, come eat some fruit."
I didn’t press further.
I knew Xu Zhiyuan was apologizing for dragging me down.
He was afraid of becoming a burden to me.
I wouldn’t let him be my burden.
I also wouldn’t abandon him.
I found a job.
Everything seemed to return to how it was before.
I went to work while Xu Zhiyuan stayed home and did what he could.
In the evenings, I walked with Xu Zhiyuan and made him nourishing soup.
Xu Zhiyuan reminded me, "When you go back to Chengdu, make sure to tell your parents."
"I know."
"If your parents don’t agree with us being together..."
"They won’t."
"If they don’t agree, don’t argue with them," Xu Zhiyuan said calmly, "Given my situation, it’s normal for them not to agree."
"I know."
Actually, I really wanted to tell Xu Zhiyuan that my parents already knew.
They knew I was with Xu Zhiyuan, and they had always disapproved.
They hoped I would find someone in a better situation.
But it didn’t matter; I would convince them.
As long as Xu Zhiyuan focused on getting better, everything would be fine.
"Baby, if you feel the burden is too heavy..." Xu Zhiyuan said softly, "You can choose to break up. Even if we break up, we can still be friends."
"I don’t want that." I hugged Xu Zhiyuan tightly, "I don’t want to break up with you."
"Baby, I don't want to be a burden to you."
"You are not a burden!" I hugged him tightly, "You are my lover."
Xu Zhiyuan didn't say anything more, just gently stroked my hair.
Soon, Xu Zhiyuan began his second round of chemotherapy.
I accompanied him at the hospital.
After the chemotherapy ended, I searched for ways to treat Advanced Colon Cancer.
I even sought help from fellow patients.
Gui Zhi was someone we met in the patient support group.
Like Xu Zhiyuan, he also had Advanced Colon Cancer.
However, he discovered his condition earlier than Xu Zhiyuan.
"Gui Zhi, how is your treatment going now?"
"I'm undergoing chemotherapy," Gui Zhi said, "I feel pretty good right now."
"Do you have any good treatment methods?"
"I'm just following what the doctor says," Gui Zhi replied, "What's up?"
"Zhiyuan is undergoing his second round of chemotherapy, and I'm wondering if there are better treatment options."
"Well..." Gui Zhi hesitated, "I suggest you ask the doctor instead."
"Okay."
After hanging up the phone, I sighed.
Xu Zhiyuan happened to come back and smiled when he saw me like that: "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Is it work that's bothering you?"
"No," I shook my head, "It's just some personal matters."
"Baby, don't tire yourself out too much," Xu Zhiyuan said as he patted my head, "Don't worry too much about me."
"Mm."
Xu Zhiyuan went to take a shower.
I sat on the sofa in a daze.
I couldn't help Xu Zhiyuan.
I didn't know how to help him.
When Xu Zhiyuan finished his shower and saw me still lost in thought, he smiled and said: "Baby, stop daydreaming."
"Zhiyuan, I want to go out for a bit."
"Where to?"
"Go find a friend."
"What friend?"
"Just... a very familiar friend." I made up a reason on the spot.
Xu Zhiyuan didn't ask further, just nodded: "Alright, you go ahead, be careful on the way."
"Okay."
I got up and left.
I didn't go to find a friend; instead, I went to the hospital.
I asked the doctor how Xu Zhiyuan was doing.
"His treatment is going well," the doctor said, "but he still needs to be monitored."
"If there are any issues, please let me know immediately."
"Sure."
After leaving the hospital, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Xu Zhiyuan's condition had improved.
That was good news.
Next, it was just a matter of waiting.
When I returned to the entrance of Xu Zhiyuan's building, I saw him standing at the gate, seemingly waiting for someone.
I walked over quickly: "Zhiyuan, what are you doing here?"
"I'm waiting for you."
"Weren't we supposed to agree that I'd go up by myself?"
"I wanted to pick you up," Xu Zhiyuan smiled, "Baby, it's cold outside; let's go home."
"Okay."
I took Xu Zhiyuan's hand and we went home together.
On the way, Xu Zhiyuan said: "Baby, in a couple of days some friends want to come over to our place."
"Sounds good."
"They know I'm sick."
"Uh-huh."
"They also know you're with me."
"Uh-huh."
"They want to come over; do you think that's okay?"
"Of course," I smiled, "you can arrange it however you like."
"Alright."
Two days later, the friends that Xu Zhiyuan mentioned arrived. They were all Xu Zhiyuan's colleagues. They brought a lot of fruits and snacks with them. I greeted them and went to the kitchen to cook. Xu Zhiyuan chatted with them. I listened to their laughter, feeling a warmth in my heart. How nice it would be if this could last forever.
After dinner, Xu Zhiyuan saw them off downstairs. I stayed at home to tidy up the kitchen. When Xu Zhiyuan came back, I said, "Your friends care about you a lot."
"Yeah."
"They are all worried about your situation."
"I know," Xu Zhiyuan smiled, "Don't worry, I will get better."
"Mm!"
I nodded vigorously. Xu Zhiyuan will definitely get better. He will surely be fine!
In the evening, Xu Zhiyuan and I went out for a walk together. We held hands, walking in the cold winter night. Xu Zhiyuan said, "Baby, if your parents don't agree with us being together..."
"They won't," I interrupted him, "They won't disagree with us being together."
"I mean if they do," Xu Zhiyuan said softly, "If they disagree, don't argue with them. Just tell them it's my fault; I'm not worthy of you."
"Xu Zhiyuan, you are great; you deserve me," I said firmly, "I won't break up with you."
Xu Zhiyuan didn't say anything more; he just held my hand tighter. I tightened my grip on his hand as well. I won't let go of his hand. I won't leave him.
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