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墨書 Inktalez
In a daze, I had a dream.
I dreamt of Zhou Heng, he was walking ahead of me, and I couldn't catch up with him. No matter how loudly I called his name, he didn't turn back.
I could only watch him disappear in front of me.
I woke up from a nightmare and realized that my pillow was wet. I had been crying. The dream just now felt so real. I desperately chased after it, crying desperately, but I couldn't hold on to Zhou Heng. I looked up and saw a faint light in the sky outside the window, and a hazy mist covered the window with a layer of dew. The day was breaking.
I am too clear-headed, to the point that every cell is telling itself clearly: you and Zhou Heng are over.
Yes, it's over. Why is it so hard to let go?
Is it unwillingness? Unwillingness that yesterday was each other's only, but in the blink of an eye, there's no excuse to say goodbye.
My mom said that today is the Laba Festival, and after eating Laba porridge, we should welcome the new and drive away all the bad luck.
I understand her meaning, implying that I should forget the past and not indulge in the pain of lost love. I forced a smile and said, "Then I will definitely eat two more bowls."
My mom forced a smile and said, "Okay, I'll make more." She busied herself in the kitchen, while I stood by absentmindedly watching her. Time flies, it's already Laba Festival, and my birthday is coming soon.
At 25, I am still single. I don't care if I can't get married, or if I end up alone and lonely. I'm frustrated! *Knock knock!*
When I opened the door, I saw Du Fei walking in with a smile. She looked at my listless appearance and asked, " Xiao Meng, why do you look like this?" I slumped into the sofa, knowing she was here to show off that she was going to marry Zhang Qiguang. I had seen the wedding invitation and candies in her hand. After greeting my mom, Du Fei sat next to me and asked with a meaningful look, "Still can't accept it?"
I didn't answer, snatched the invitation from her hand, "Invite me to be a bridesmaid?"
"I think it's better not to, considering your current state," Du Fei said with a hint of disdain.
"Why are you upset? A man like him, you can easily find someone better. I'll have Qi Guang introduce you to a successful man. He has a house and a car, much better than that Taoist."
"Stop it." My mom came out of the kitchen, looking a bit upset. " Du Fei, go back to your wedding preparations and stop meddling here. From today, don't mention Xiao Meng again. Otherwise, don't come back."
Du Fei awkwardly smiled, "Auntie, no need to be so harsh, right? I'm just concerned that Xiao Meng might be wasting her time."
"Fine, we've received the invitation, and we've prepared the gift money."
Du Fei was rendered speechless by my mother's words, leaving her feeling frustrated. Unable to argue with my mother, she could only stomp her feet in displeasure before leaving. As she was leaving, I overheard her mutter, "Good intentions are like donkey's liver and lungs."
My mother, clearly upset, closed the door and remarked, "What about Zhang Qiguang? She's not even a good person herself. How good can her friends be? And she's trying to set up a boyfriend for my daughter!"
I helplessly smiled and said, "Mom, don't be angry." My mom looked at me with heartache, the vegetable leaf in her hand had been torn to pieces by her. It's easy to imagine how much she cares about what my cousin said. "Alright, alright, her cousin is just like her mom."
For lunch, I had some hot and fragrant Laba porridge, which made me feel a bit hungry. After a few bites, my phone rang. It was Yao Yao. I've been isolating myself from the world these days, and I haven't been answering any calls I can avoid. Even when Yao Yao occasionally greets me, I don't really feel like chatting.
She's here to care about me again.
"Hey!"
"Xiao Meng, have you...eaten?"
I'm speechless. Yao Yao calls just to ask if I've eaten? This greeting is so unoriginal.
"I'm eating Laba porridge that my mom made. It's quite delicious."
"Laba porridge? Not bad."
I continued to drink my porridge carefully while on the phone. Yao Yao has always been energetic in her speech and actions, but I could clearly sense her hesitation on the phone.
"Do you need something from me? Is there a problem with the company's orders?"
She hurriedly said, "No, I just wanted to give you a call."
I thought there was a problem with the company's order. When I handed it over to her, even though I had explained it in detail, there were still some handover errors.
"I'm fine, nothing's wrong," I casually said, but I heard Yao Yao let out a heavy sigh.
Then she asked me, "Has Master Xiao Chen called you?"
"Um, I made a phone call last night."
"Did he say anything?"
I was taken aback. Master Xiao Chen said a few words last night and then hung up. There wasn't anything special.
Yao Yao busily asked, "Did he tell you about Master Zhou?"
The chopsticks slipped from my hand, and my heart couldn't help but skip a beat. "What's wrong with Zhou Heng?"
He was supposed to be studying in Beijing, pursuing everything he longed for and aspired to.
"Xiao Meng, actually, I don't know if I should tell you. Yesterday, Master Xiao Chen called me and asked for your number. I was puzzled at the time, so I asked Master Xiao Chen for more details."
Yao Yao's voice was very low, she seemed to be suppressing her emotions, "You and Master Zhou broke up, we all feel very sorry."
My throat felt tight, I got up and walked into the bedroom, not wanting my parents to see me crying.
These days, whenever Zhou Heng is mentioned, I can't help but control my tears.
I used to find Zhou Daiyu's crying annoying, but now I have become like her. I finally understand why Zhou Daiyu wanted to repay Jia Baoyu with a lifetime of tears.
Even my breathing has become difficult, as I quietly listen to Yao Yao asking, "Do you still love him?"
The phone was filled with the sound of my silent breathing. Yao Yao let out a long sigh and said, "I used to think that certain plotlines only existed in TV shows, but now I realize that reality surpasses fiction by far."
I already had a bad feeling. Last night, Master Xiao Chen hesitated to speak, and today Yao Yao suddenly became so rational and despondent. All of this was telling me that Zhou Heng was in trouble.
My heart was pounding, and my cold fingers tightened around the phone. "Yao Yao, is it true that Zhou Heng is in trouble?"
"Xiao Meng, have you ever thought about someone like Master Zhou? How could he suddenly be so heartless, not even making a phone call, not even willing to explain?"
Click! My mind went blank, feeling only fear.
"Go back and see him, Ye Ling. From now on, there will be no chance. If you both miss each other, why torture each other like this? If it were me, even if our time together was short, I wouldn't leave."
Is there not much time left? Are you talking about Zhou Heng?
My heart fell into deep sorrow, tears blurred my eyes.
Yao Yao's words shocked me, and I regret it. Zhou Heng didn't stop me that day because he would never stop me in that situation. Is he very ill?
But when we separated, he was fine.
The things Lixiang told me, I don't know if they're true or not now. He didn't go to Beijing, that's a fact.
I don't care about anything, my mind is full of Zhou Heng. I quickly changed my clothes, ignoring my mom chasing after me: "Xiao Meng, what's wrong with you?"
"Which kid is acting crazy?"
"Where are you going?"
I drove fast, my thoughts already drifting away. I needed to see Zhou Heng as soon as possible.
Why didn't he tell me the truth and make me suffer like this? Even if he was sick, I could take care of him. He pushed my hand away and shut me out of his world. Does that make me happy?
If it weren't for Master Xiao Chen's call, I might never have known about Zhou Heng's situation. And we, Ye Ling, would never see each other again.
I started to blame myself. I left him when he needed me the most.
Why couldn't I persist at that time? Why couldn't I hold onto him and not let go?
The car was driving fast, and I rushed to the cable car, looking at the approaching Qingyun Temple, feeling very complicated.
Will Zhou Heng meet me? Will I collapse when I see him?
If he stubbornly refuses to see me, what should I do? Are we destined to have deep feelings but shallow fate in this lifetime, and part ways like this? He has never been impulsive, and his decisions cannot be easily changed. Master Xiao Chen probably got my phone number behind his back. If he finds out, he might become even more distant from me.
I remember Mrs. Jiang once said that he was often sickly and almost didn't make it. The doctor shook his head, and the fortune teller sighed... That night, Mrs. Jiang's hesitant words, until now, I still can't fully understand. Ye Ling, the answer is right here.
Qingyun Temple - Three words that come into my eyes, I have never knelt before the gods so devoutly. At this moment, I solemnly kowtow and bow, only hoping that the gods will not abandon Zhou Heng, he is so young.
I did not enter the main hall, but went straight to the backyard, where the Master s lived.
I didn't know many Master s, and when they saw me rushing in, they looked at me in surprise and asked, "You can't come in here, pilgrim."
"Burning incense to pray for blessings, please follow me."
" Master, I am looking for..."
" Daoist Ling." Master Xiao Chen hurried over.
I quickly stepped forward and grabbed Master Xiao Chen's sleeve, "Where is Zhou Heng?"
Master Xiao Chen whispered a few words to the other Master s, and they nodded and looked at me before continuing with their own tasks.
I was very anxious and asked urgently, "Take me to see Zhou Heng, Master Xiao Chen."
Sighing, Master Xiao Chen looked at me with difficulty and said, "Senior Brother Zhou has already scolded me, telling me not to disturb you. I didn't expect you to still come."
"He doesn't want to see me?"
Tears fell from my eyes unconsciously. I had already thought about this outcome, but I still wanted to give it a try.
Master Xiao Chen shook his head: "It's not that he doesn't want to see you, he can't see you."
"You tell me, what's wrong with Zhou Heng?"
Master Xiao Chen's eyes were red, he choked up and said with difficulty: "Senior Brother Zhou started having nosebleeds for no reason after he came back last time, and he even fainted once during that time..."
Last time, after I and Zhou Heng parted ways, he got sick when he returned to Qingyun Temple.
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