Book Synopsis
Book Tags
Donation Rankings
Comment
0 Comments
You May Also Like
Love in the Inner Palace
墨書 Inktalez
In late April, as summer approached, the weather grew longer and more oppressive day by day. I leaned against the wall, dragging my broken body, gazing out at the Bodhi Tree. It was an ancient tree, lush and verdant, standing tall and vibrant, exuding vitality from within. Its abundant branches and leaves shimmered softly in the sunlight, a deep green that seemed dreamlike and ethereal, embodying a solemn beauty.
Legend has it that Buddha Sakyamuni attained enlightenment beneath the Bodhi Tree and sought to save all beings. It is said that Buddha is filled with compassion and cannot bear to see others suffer. Yet, despite reciting Buddhist scriptures countless times and praying through countless nights and days, why have I still not found liberation?
In the sweltering heat, parched and desperate, my maidservants had vanished to who knows where to escape the heat. I called out many times but received no response. Reluctantly, I dragged my broken legs toward a nearby earthen bowl—there was still some water inside. Though covered in dust, it could quench my thirst. I happily held the bowl and greedily gulped down a few mouthfuls of water.
"Can you really drink such murky water?" Anhui entered, dressed in luxurious garments adorned with jewels. She crouched down to meet my gaze, her eyes filled with unabashed disdain and disgust. "Seeing you like this makes me feel both hatred and pity. How did the once lofty Princess Xuanhui end up in such a state?"
"You broke my legs and locked me away in this dark place; isn't it just to watch me suffer?" I looked at Anhui, my former fourth sister. She had striking blue eyes like those of a black cat in the dark night, resembling our deceased mother, Min Chenghui.
"You caused the queen to have heart palpitations and nearly turned our father into a laughingstock for all. How could I let you die so easily?" She glared at me fiercely, as if she wished to peel off my skin: "You impersonated the Xiliang Orphan, enjoyed years of wealth and luxury, and committed such disgraceful acts that defy moral principles. Even if you go to hell, you cannot wash away your sins."
"Have you ever witnessed the chaos of gunfire or seen blood flowing like rivers? Have you experienced the horrors of cannibalism on the road to escape or cooking flesh over fire?" I looked at Anhui with calmness in my eyes; she had grown up surrounded by luxury and had never seen such things.
"I have seen corpses piled high and rivers running red with blood. I have endured the hardships after my country fell and my family was destroyed. I have witnessed the ugliness of humanity and moral decay. So do you think I care about these illusory moral constraints?" I smiled; I cared nothing for the three cardinal guides or five constant virtues. I merely fell in love with someone I should not have at the wrong time and did what I wanted.
"So you never think you did anything wrong nor feel any regret?" Anhui looked at me with pity; she had always been puzzled by my stubbornness.
"Someone who has died once only wishes to live freely upon returning to life. So whether it was killing the Xiliang Little Princess or drugging your father to climb into his bed, I have no regrets," I said as I looked at Anhui before me, suddenly feeling envious of her. I took off a Purple Jade Ring from my hand and handed it to her.
"In a few days will be your father's birthday. As I've called you my sister for many years, please help me deliver this ring to him." This Purple Jade Ring was a token of love between the Xiliang Heir and Dayuan Princess; it originally belonged to my lady—the Xiliang Little Princess Yimia. After killing her, I took it off her finger and kept it with me.
"Father won't accept it," Anhui said with a complex expression.
"He will," I replied confidently. Even though he despised me deeply, even though he wanted to kill me as soon as he woke up, even though he cast me aside like refuse, he would definitely accept this Purple Jade Ring because it was related to Xiliang's buried treasure.
Anhui didn't understand why I spoke so assuredly but still accepted the ring while looking at me with a complicated expression: "Everyone says you are a treacherous servant who killed the real Xiliang Little Princess without regard for loyalty or morality. But I've never heard anyone mention your true identity. Can you tell me your story?"
"My name is Jia Ruo; in Dayuan language, it means 'grass seed.'" Looking out at the blazing sunlight outside, it felt as if I had returned to that summer over ten years ago when buried memories slowly resurfaced. I remembered when Great Li's iron cavalry broke into Dayuan's capital; it was under similarly scorching weather when I killed Yimia—the sun seemed intent on scorching the earth while the air was thick with the stench of decaying bodies.
My birth mother was a maidservant of Dayuan Princess who later became the wife of a stableman under Xiliang Heir's command. Since Yimia and I were born in the same year, I was sent to serve her from a young age—first as her playmate and later as her maidservant and reader.
As the only girl of the Xiliang Kingdom after marrying far away, Yimia is truly the center of attention, having been granted the title of Little Princess even before her birth. Growing up under such pampering, Yimia is certainly not a considerate little princess; her willfulness and temper surpass even that of her Aunt, Empress Song. More accurately, she has inherited the temperament of the Dayuan Princess, being quite fierce and cruel.
When she was young, we who served her would often be treated as her horses to ride. As she grew older, if she was even slightly displeased, she would take the small whip gifted by King Gaochang and lash out at us in various ways, with me being one of the most severely punished.
The reason for this was simply because a young prince from the Shache Kingdom, which had friendly relations with Xiliang Kingdom, inadvertently remarked, "Yimia, your companion is so beautiful; she is much prettier than you."
Thus, I became the focus of Yimia's attention after being praised by the Shache prince. Her temperament mirrored that of the Dayuan Princess; my Birth Mother had once been scarred by Princess Dayuan simply for being complimented by the Xiliang Heir.
As a child, I was often beaten and bruised by Yimia. She would deliberately make me accompany her to study, where she would tease our Master. When Master grew angry and sought to punish her, he could not touch Noble Birth Yimia, so the punishment fell upon me as her companion. After one class, my hands were swollen and red like steamed buns.
I once dragged my wounded body to ask my Birth Mother why we did not leave the Xiliang palace and why I had to endure such humiliation and torment from Yimia. But as a servant trained from a young age to be loyal, my Birth Mother could only apply medicine to my wounds while telling me that this was our fate—that this was what it meant to be a servant.
As for my Biological Father, his loyalty was even more steadfast than that of my Birth Mother. His sole concern was how to care for the Xiliang Heir's warhorses—how to mix horse feed properly and manage the stables. I once approached him to complain about Yimia's behavior, hoping he would stand up for me. But he merely continued grooming the horses without looking at me and asked blankly what I had said after I finished speaking. From that moment on, I knew that even in death, he would not care about me or my Birth Mother.
Yimia hated me deeply; tragically, after the fall of Xiliang Kingdom, it was just the two of us left to rely on each other.
The city of Xiliang fell on a winter night; flames painted half the sky red. My Biological Father was shot full of arrows while trying to protect the Xiliang Heir during their escape. My Birth Mother faced humiliation from Great Li General while trying to secure an opportunity for Dayuan Princess to flee. At that time, Dayuan Princess had just given birth and was weak; knowing she could not escape as enemy forces hunted down remnants of Xiliang, she handed me a token and urged me to take Yimia to seek refuge in Dayuan.
"Your father died saving the Heir Apparent; your mother perished protecting me. Your family are all loyal servants," the sickly Consort leaned against the dark tunnel wall, barely clinging to life yet still fierce in her gaze. "So Jia Ruo, you must swear that you will be as loyal as your parents—devote your life to Princess and protect her well until you reach Dayuan. If you betray her, you shall meet a terrible end."
"I swear, Consort." I raised my palm solemnly.
The journey of fleeing was difficult; however, Yimia's spoiled nature remained unchanged. She showed no awareness that we were now refugees after losing our country and family. She demanded honey in her water and insisted on fine food; she wouldn't touch wild vegetable porridge or coarse grain buns unless absolutely necessary. If she was dissatisfied even slightly, she would kick and hit me.
To fetch honey for her, I endured countless bee stings; to ensure she had meat to eat, I learned how to catch snakes and rabbits. While begging for food, I was bitten numerous times by guard dogs from wealthy households. Yet Yimia only complained that I couldn't restore her life of luxury and opulence; she found my disheveled appearance disgraceful and loathed me for bringing her shame.
"After all, she is a precious Princess; it's inevitable she'll be picky and spoiled," Anhui remarked in defense of Yimia.
At that time, I was merely a maidservant; how could I defy my mistress due to her whims? I did not respond directly to Anhui but continued recounting what happened next: "On our way fleeing, we encountered other refugees."
They were a group of inhumane beasts, and they marked the beginning of my lifelong sins and misfortunes.
That day, I managed to catch a wild rabbit. For us, who had been fleeing and rarely encountered meat, it was a rare find. I patiently hid in the woods, roasting the rabbit. The golden-brown meat emitted a tantalizing aroma that made anyone drool. Even Yimia, who had always criticized me, was drawn in by the food and surprisingly didn’t give me a hard time.
In my excitement, I never expected that the smell of the roasted meat would attract a group of Refugees.
A group of ragged, cannibalistic Refugees.
I had witnessed them kill children and cook their deceased companions to stave off hunger. They surged forward like hungry tigers pouncing on prey, devouring the roasted rabbit before greedily turning their eyes toward us. Realizing the danger, I grabbed Yimia and began to run frantically. I didn’t know how long we ran; we were already exhausted, but the Refugees were still hot on our heels.
“Yimia said she couldn’t run anymore and wanted me to carry her. But just as I picked her up, I tripped over a stone. Then, my loyal Princess unhesitatingly abandoned me to the Refugees,” I recounted.
“What happened next?” Xuanhui covered her mouth, unable to bear thinking about what would follow.
“The pursuing Refugees intended to cook me, but I deceived them into believing I had a disease. The leaders among them decided that since I couldn’t satisfy their hunger, they might as well have their fun with me.” I spoke lightly, but my fingers gripped the wall tightly; it was a nightmare I could never bear to revisit.
“Eighteen leaders of the Refugees took turns violating me, completely robbing me of any chance of bearing children. After that, there was no future for me.” I forced a bitter smile.
“No wonder three years ago at the Mid-Autumn banquet, after the Anling Marquis Heir violated your maidservant, you defied your father without hesitation and disregarded the pleas of the virtuous consort to stab him to death. I suddenly understand you better,” Anhui across from me clenched her fists tightly, tears shimmering in her eyes.
I thought I would die in those woods; if I could have died so simply, perhaps there wouldn’t have been so many subsequent events.
But then Yimia returned to find me.
Comment 0 Comment Count