Gu Zhongming nodded.
"Gu Zhongming," I said, "I no longer love you."
Gu Zhongming nodded again.
"Gu Zhongming, don't you have anything to say to me?"
Finally, Gu Zhongming spoke.
"Nuan Nuan, I love you."
"Gu Zhongming, when you loved me, you truly loved me."
"Gu Zhongming, when you cheated, you really cheated."
Gu Zhongming was stunned again.
"Gu Zhongming, if life could start over, I would rather have never met you."
Gu Zhongming cried.
"Gu Zhongming, I'm tired. Please leave."
I sent Gu Zhongming away.
For the nth time, I asked Nurse Xiao Guo for more pain medication.
Nurse Xiao Guo said, "Nuan Nuan, just hold on a little longer. You'll be better soon."
"Xiao Guo," I said, "I feel like I'm dying."
"Nuan Nuan, you'll get better."
"Xiao Guo, I'm already in so much pain."
Xiang Yue came to see me again; she brought fruit.
"Yue Yue," I said, "I want to go outside for a bit."
Xiang Yue paused.
"Yue Yue," I said, "just for a little while."
Xiang Yue pushed me downstairs.
The sunlight outside was really nice.
"Nuan Nuan, do you remember?" Xiang Yue said. "Back then, we always played together."
"Of course I remember," I said. "Back then, we loved basking in the sun."
"Warm Warm, do you remember?" Xiang Yue asked. "We promised to achieve our dreams together."
"Of course I remember," I replied. "Your dream was to be a journalist, and my dream was to be an artist."
"But," Xiang Yue said, "we still haven't achieved them."
"It's okay," I said. "At least you have."
"But," Xiang Yue insisted, "you haven't."
"It's okay," I replied. "At least I tried."
"But," Xiang Yue said, "life has been unfair to you."
"It's okay," I said. "Life is fair to everyone in its own way."
Xiang Yue started to cry.
"Yue Yue," I said, "you need to live well."
Xiang Yue cried even harder.
"Yue Yue," I urged, "you must fulfill our dreams."
Yue Yue was at a loss for words.
"Yue Yue," I said, "I have to go now."
"Warm Warm..."
"Yue Yue," I said, "you need to take care of yourself."
"Warm Warm..."
"Yue Yue, goodbye."
Xiang Yue was in tears.
And there I was, sitting in a wheelchair under the warm sun, soaking in the sunlight as I slowly closed my eyes.
Nurse Xiao Guo said that when I fell asleep, there was a smile on my face.
Gu Zhongming rushed over.
But by then, I had already lost consciousness.
All I remember is that I had a dream.
In my dream, I returned to seventeen. Gu Zhongming rode his motorcycle to find me and smiled as he asked, "Ye Nuannuan, do you dare to go for a ride with me?"
"I dare!"
I laughed as I got on the bike.
However, the dream soon faded away. I could never return to being seventeen again. Just when I was about to give up hope, the doctor came in.
He said, "Miss Lin, there has been a breakthrough in medicine."
"There is hope for your recovery."
I half-jokingly asked, "Doctor, are you saying I'm not going to die?"
The doctor nodded affirmatively.
I smiled.
It was a lighthearted smile.
I brought Nurse Xiao Guo some candy to celebrate that I wasn't going to die after all. Nurse Xiao Guo cried again.
I began to cooperate more actively with the treatment; I was no longer as pessimistic as before but filled with hope instead. Although I still felt pain at times, I learned to alleviate it by distracting myself and spent one difficult night after another with Nurse Xiao Guo by my side.
Sometimes, Nurse Xiao Guo would tell me jokes. Other times, I would tell her jokes. We always made each other laugh and then burst into laughter together.
I no longer saw Gu Zhongming. Sometimes, I would think of him, but I no longer cried for him. My heart had already died.
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