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**Perspective of Shen Moxuan**
When I woke up, Qing Yao was already gone. She lay quietly in the coffin, her left palm bearing a two-inch long wound, identical to the one on my right palm. Si Yuqing told me that Qing Yao had exchanged her life for mine to save me.
I sat alone beside the coffin for a long time. The Cold Poison had been dispelled, but my heart could no longer feel warmth. I loved Qing Yao. We had known each other since childhood, and at the age when love first blossomed, I promised to marry her. At that time, I thought I could spend my life peacefully with her.
Until that fatal imperial decree took everything from me; aside from Qing Yao, only my master remained. I begged my master on his deathbed not to marry Qing Yao off to someone else, insisting that I would marry her. But after my master passed away, Qing Yao joined the Rebel Army with me.
From then on, I tried hard to see Qing Yao as a comrade rather than a lover because I knew she was different from others; while others could abandon me, Qing Yao could not. Yet ultimately, I was still alone; I could not completely sever my feelings for Qing Yao.
During our march, Qing Yao was captured. I led my men and fought desperately to rescue her, but lost sixteen brothers in the process. Brother Jingyuan told me, "Lin Qingyao is a brother; those sixteen were also brothers." He said, "Your heart is too heavy; it will surely bring harm to Lin Qingyao in the future."
I did not believe Brother Jingyuan's words. However, before he died, he entrusted Si Yuqing to me and urged me to let go of Lin Qingyao. I accepted Si Yuqing's fragrance pouch, but my feelings were hard to suppress.
After ascending the throne, I brought Si Yuqing to the Golden Hall and conferred upon her the title of Zhaoyi Princess, leaving the position of Empress vacant for two years while hoping for Qing Yao's return. But two years later, when Qing Yao returned, she brought a man with her and told me he was her husband and that she loved him.
I was filled with rage and jealousy, but Qing Yao fell ill and called out that man's name.
I know that the person approached Qing Yao for revenge, and I am unwilling to let him go. In the Prison of Heaven, I executed him. Qing Yao held a Wooden Hairpin against my neck, demanding that I release him. The Wooden Hairpin cut into my throat, blood flowing freely. Qing Yao did not kill me; she collapsed into my arms. She said to me, "Live well, and do not let my death be in vain."
Qing Yao died in my embrace. My world crumbled. After Qing Yao's death, I fell apart in the Prison of Heaven. I stabbed that man with a sword, but ultimately, I did not kill him. Following Qing Yao's last words, I spared him. I buried Qing Yao with the honors of a queen in the Imperial Tomb. I banished that man from the imperial city, never to set foot there again.
Si Yuqing ground ink for me at the table and asked, "Why didn't you kill him?"
"If Qing Yao were here, she would definitely not want me to kill him," I replied.
"Since you know Qing Yao's feelings, why didn't you let them be together from the beginning?" Si Yuqing questioned.
I put down the red brush in my hand and looked up at Si Yuqing. "I would give her anything she wanted, but letting her go was something I could not do."
"If you want her by your side, then you should not torment her," Si Yuqing said.
"I did not," I immediately retorted.
"You did," Si Yuqing stated firmly.
"Qing Yao devoted herself to you wholeheartedly, yet you always used my feelings for her to punish her," Si Yuqing remarked.
"I did not," I insisted.
"You have," Si Yuqing said, her voice choked with emotion.
"I thought that aside from my royal brother, I had no one to rely on in this world. You saved Qing Yao and treated her so well that I began to consider marrying her to you," Si Yuqing continued.
"But you don't know that Qing Yao and I have sworn brotherhood; I see her as a sister. How could I let her serve another man?" Si Yuqing stated.
"I never intended for Qing Yao to serve another man," I replied.
"You know how deeply Qing Yao values emotions. Since you know how she would choose, you shouldn't force her," Si Yuqing said.
"I didn't force her; I was just too afraid of losing her," I responded.
"Qing Yao has only done two selfish things in her life: one was to save you, and the other was to save that boy," Si Yuqing remarked.
"All she ever wanted was to die; won't you grant her that?" Si Yuqing asked me.
I lowered my head in silence.
"Qing Yao's life has been too painful; let her go," Si Yuqing urged.
"If I let her go, who will let me go?" I replied.
"Letting her go is letting yourself go," Si Yuqing said.
"Qing Yao is gone; she will never return," Si Yuqing stated.
"I know," I said.
"You don't know," Si Yuqing insisted.
"What do you know?" I retorted.
"Qing Yao is dead; she will never come back, do you understand?" Si Yuqing shouted hoarsely.
"I know," I replied.
"You don't know!" Si Yuqing exclaimed.
"You don't know anything!" Si Yuqing added.
After saying this, Si Yuqing turned and walked away.
I watched her departing figure, lost in thought.
Si Yuqing was right; I didn't know anything at all.
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