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墨書 Inktalez
When Shaw Min followed An Shaojie to a patch of grass by the playground, An Shaojie stopped.
Standing under the vast night sky, a sudden chill swept over them.
Shaw Min pinched An Shaojie's jacket and asked, "Is this jacket still warm? Are you cold?"
This jacket was bought by Shaw Min to save on her living expenses as winter had just begun. It was a weekend when Shaw Min took a nap, and upon waking, she noticed a sudden change in the weather; the sky was dark and gloomy, with wind and sand swirling up the fallen leaves on the ground. Thinking that An Shaojie had just entered high school and probably didn't have a proper winter jacket, she hurriedly put on her clothes and bought him this jacket from a clothing store at the school gate.
When she gave the jacket to An Shaojie, he was sitting in class reading, shivering from the cold.
Shaw Min took the jacket out of the plastic bag for him; there was no time to cut off the tag before he put it on, smiling happily, "Thank you, Sister."
The jacket was a bit oversized, and at that moment, An Shaojie wrapped it tightly around himself just like now, hugging his arms across his chest while looking at Shaw Min with a smile.
"Sister, can we sit for a while?"
"Sure." Shaw Min happily agreed and sat down on the grass.
After An Shaojie sat down beside her, he kept his head down, looking gloomy.
"An Shaojie, do you have something on your mind? Why don't you share it with Sister?"
Although Shaw Min and An Shaojie were not full siblings, Shaw Min had a gentle and honest nature. To be precise, she possessed certain qualities similar to Lin Xi—calmness and grace without arrogance or pretentiousness. She exuded the warmth and kindness typical of traditional femininity, radiating a maternal glow.
Thus, whenever they approached him, his insecure heart would settle down.
For this half-sister from the same mother, An Shaojie had always been close to her since childhood. Sometimes in his heart, she almost replaced Mother Bai Cuifen's position.
"Sister, why do you think Lin Xi isn't at Yizhong?" An Shaojie suddenly asked.
"An Shaojie, are you still thinking about her?" Shaw Min was startled.
At the beginning of the school year, when An Shaojie couldn't find Lin Xi's name on the new sophomore admission list, he hurried over to Shaw Min and told her, "Sister, why isn't Lin Xi on the admission list?"
When he asked Shaw Min this question, it seemed as if he had lost something very precious, and his voice trembled slightly.
"Lin Xi's name isn't there?" Shaw Min's tone was somewhat flat.
She and Bai Cuifen had only mentioned Lin Xi during An Shaojie's middle school years to encourage him to study, often saying things like Lin Xi's father was a teacher and that she must be doing well academically and would definitely get into the top school. However, they never expected that An Shaojie would take it seriously.
"Could it be that she changed her name after coming to the county?" Shaw Min casually suggested at that time.
But deep down, Shaw Min had another thought: perhaps Lin Xi didn't get into the top school! Who said that a teacher's child would definitely perform well?
If she didn't get into the top school, finding a childhood friend in this large county with only a name—without knowing her address, area code, or what she currently looked like—would be like searching for a needle in a haystack. Unless they went to the county police station to inquire about her father and mother’s information to find her through them.
However, at that time, An Shaojie and Shaw Min were just two high school students from the countryside; how could they think of such a method? Even if they did think of it, the police station wouldn't allow two underage students to make inquiries.
Unexpectedly, Shaw Min's casual remark was taken seriously by Shaoan.
After returning to school, Shaoan stopped looking for Lin Xi's name and instead began searching for Lin Xi's figure among the crowd at school.
"You’re looking for Lin Xi’s figure?" Shaw Min was stunned as if she were hearing a fantastical story.
"Yeah." An Shaojie nodded while pulling at the dried grass on the lawn.
"Do you know how tall Lin Xi is now? What kind of hairstyle does she have? Is she fat or thin?" Shaw Min asked.
An Shaojie shook his head.
"You don't know any of this, how can you find her?" Shaw Min said, a bit agitated. She felt that her brother was being stubborn; he was so intelligent in his studies, yet so clueless in real life.
"Even though I don't know these things, I have a vague feeling inside me. As long as that vague shadow appears, I think I will be able to recognize her," An Shaojie insisted.
"Sigh!" Shaw Min sighed and said, "An Shaojie, although I don't know what you're thinking, you're already grown up. You can just say whatever is on your mind."
"Okay." An Shaojie nodded. "Sister, just say what you want to say. You came to see me tonight because you wanted to hear my thoughts."
"Alright." Shaw Min stood up from the lawn, stomped her feet, and patted her cold backside. "An Shaojie, maybe since childhood, Lin Xi has been good to you, and that's why you like her. But people change, you know? After all these years, you haven't seen Lin Xi again. Your impression of her is still stuck in her childhood. You don't know what kind of environment she has lived in over the years or what kind of people she has met. Perhaps in her life, there are friends or classmates who are closer to her than your relationship with her. Maybe she has already forgotten you; even if she hasn't forgotten, your memory might not be significant to her. You were just a companion she played with in Liu Family Village, just like the other companions there—nothing special in her heart."
An Shaojie also stood up and put his hands in his jacket pockets. "But, Sister, everything about a person can change—like their living environment, status, relationships, and even memories—but I believe a person's character never changes."
Shaw Min glanced at An Shaojie. Although she couldn't see the changes in his facial expression clearly, she sensed a heavy feeling from his low tone that indicated he was harboring some deep emotions inside. However, this accumulation of feelings made Shaw Min feel an underlying unease.
Yes, An Shaojie was right; a person's character never changes. But feelings do change.
Looking at her stubborn brother before her, Shaw Min suddenly didn't know how to explain that childhood feelings are different from those experienced during adolescence.
Shaw Min had already gone through the budding emotions of youth and understood that youthful feelings are shy heartbeats—not the innocence of holding hands as children. But for An Shaojie, his youth had just begun; he had yet to experience that initial youthful love that made one's heart race and face flush—especially for someone like him who was naturally slow in matters of the heart. How could she make him understand?
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