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墨書 Inktalez
As Qinglan was about to turn and enter the dormitory building, An Shaojie suddenly pulled her gently into his embrace. However, his expression was not filled with love, sweetness, or impulsiveness like other couples.
His serious demeanor concealed all his emotions and feelings. He stared at her intently, but unlike other first-love couples, there was no deep affection in his gaze, nor was it tender. Instead, his eyes revealed a struggle to suppress certain feelings, coupled with the contradictions and pain that arose from confronting those feelings—a complex mix of tenderness and wildness.
"I'll come to wake you up tomorrow at eleven-thirty to go to the cafeteria together," he said in an undeniable tone, as if he were entirely confident that Qinglan had already decided not to go to Xu Wen's house tomorrow.
Qinglan did not respond. She broke free from his embrace and ran back to the dormitory in one breath.
Just after An Shaojie turned to leave, another tall figure stepped forward and stood where he had just been. After gazing for a moment toward Qinglan's dormitory, he walked away. His back appeared somewhat lonely, yet he remained composed, walking at a steady pace. As he descended the stairs, he couldn't help but glance back at Qinglan's dormitory once more.
Later that May Day holiday, Qinglan once again refused Xu Wen's invitation to meet his parents at his home and also declined to go to the cafeteria with him.
Xu Wen remained as he always was, not asking Qinglan for reasons. He simply said, "Okay, I respect your choice. But anytime you have difficulties or need me, just call." Xu Wen was typically not very talkative; his words were brief, which was somewhat similar to An Shaojie's manner.
That day around ten in the morning, Qinglan did not come down from the dormitory but instead called Xu Wen to tell him she wouldn't be going to his house and asked him not to wait for her for lunch anymore.
As An Shaojie had said, she felt she had no face to meet Xu Wen's parents; she even felt she lacked the courage and dignity to face him again.
After Xu Wen left, she sat quietly in her dormitory waiting for An Shaojie.
Was she waiting for him? Deep down, she understood that she held little hope for what she had said; even if he didn't come, it would be impossible for her to have lunch with Xu Wen again from now on.
Goodbye, dear and lovely boy!
Tears flowed freely as pain twisted her heart.
She sat.
She waited.
She had waited for him for over twenty springs and autumns; would she still be afraid of waiting? Waiting felt so insignificant in her heart.
Ten thirty, eleven, eleven ten.
Qinglan placed an electronic watch on the desk in front of her, her eyes fixed on the numbers that kept changing. She silently counted the numbers in her heart.
She had never felt time drag on like this. From ten thirty to eleven thirty, just one hour, yet it felt like a century to Qinglan. When she was with Xu Wen, she had never experienced this feeling. They often waited for each other in the Reading Room of the library; sometimes he had student council duties, and she would wait for him for an entire morning or afternoon while reading. Time seemed to fly by then.
Qinglan picked up a book, trying to replicate the state she was in when waiting for Xu Wen, but as she stared at the pages, not a single word registered.
"Doo doo doo..." The phone on the desk suddenly vibrated, and the ringtone followed suit.
Qinglan did not rush to answer the call; instead, she glanced at the electronic watch on her desk. It was exactly eleven thirty—typical of him, never wasting a single moment of time.
She hung up the phone. She still wasn't used to answering his calls, especially when they were like date invitations. She also wasn't accustomed to hearing his cold, emotionless voice on the phone.
Everything was already prepared; she just needed to grab her phone and rush outside.
As she went downstairs, he did not call again to urge her, even after she had missed his call.
This was also his style—never wasting any action or words. He was patient and confident; even though remnants of childhood insecurity lingered within him, his confidence always outweighed his insecurities.
His way of doing things was completely different from Xu Wen's.
When Qinglan ran up to him, before she could even steady herself, he turned and walked away. Qinglan followed behind like a wronged little wife, trailing closely after him.
What kind of date was this? What kind of couple were they? On their way to the cafeteria, people occasionally glanced at them, thinking they were a couple who had just argued—perhaps the girl had done something wrong and was trying to apologize while the boy walked away angrily.
Upon arriving at the cafeteria, Qinglan went straight in and claimed a seat as she used to do with Xu Wen, finding a table for two and sitting down to wait for An Shaojie.
After a while, An Shaojie came over, holding only a breakfast in front of him. After a moment, as if realizing something, he turned around and bought another breakfast to place in front of Qinglan.
Once seated, Qinglan handed him her meal card and said, "Here's my meal card; keep it with you."
"Why?" He didn't look up, continuing to eat his food.
"Because I'm responsible for saving the seat, and you're responsible for getting the food," Qinglan replied.
He still did not reach out to take the meal card from her hand.
"I used to do it this way," Qinglan pouted and added. The implication of her words was that she used to do this when she was with Xu Wen, but she omitted mentioning Xu Wen.
An Shaojie understood Qinglan's words but remained skeptical, staring at her as if trying to find an answer or something suspicious on her face.
Seeing that he still wouldn't take the meal card, Qinglan tossed it onto the table and said, "I often lose my meal card."
Finally, he put the meal card that Qinglan had thrown on the table into his pocket, although his face still bore a look of doubt.
His expression resembled that of a child who doesn't trust an adult's promise to buy them candy, staring at the adult with disbelief.
Qinglan secretly smiled. When she was with Xu Wen, she never handed her meal card over to him for safekeeping; she would only give it to him right at the entrance of the cafeteria, after which he would get her food. However, it was true that she often forgot to bring her card when she was with Xu Wen, and even when she did give it to him, he sometimes didn't use her card. The reason she did this now was mainly due to her uncertainty about the stability of her relationship with An Shaojie. By leaving her meal card with him, she would have a reason and excuse to approach him if he were to ignore her again one day.
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