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At the same time, An Shaojie indeed signed up for the English TOEFL training course with Su Hailu.
At first, he attended classes with her, went shopping together after class, and even helped her look for and rent a place.
The person Xu Wen saw at the station was indeed him.
The person Jiang Liuying saw in a certain alley while looking for a house was also him. That day, he was with Su Hailu, also looking for a place.
Later, after finding a house, he shared a rental with her.
However, during the process of studying and living together, he discovered that she actually liked him.
This was something An Shaojie had not anticipated and did not wish to happen because deep down, he had never prepared himself to love any girl other than her.
So when Su Hailu confessed her feelings to him, he began to avoid her. He stopped attending classes with her and would escape back to his rented room after class as if fleeing.
The winter break was not long, less than a month, but for him, it felt too long.
He felt lonely and regretted being stubborn with her; he regretted not going home. He missed home and missed her.
On New Year's Eve, he called Shaw Min, thinking he had a lot to say to her and his mother. However, when he picked up the phone, he found himself speechless. Afraid that his voice would choke up if he spoke, he simply said lightly, "Sister, Mother, Happy New Year!" before hanging up.
Shaw Min thought something might have happened to him and kept calling him afterward. He didn't answer but sent a text saying he was having dinner with classmates and teachers and it was noisy, so they shouldn't worry.
Thus, Shaw Min and Bai Cuifen felt reassured. But they did not know about his lie. At that moment, he was lying alone on the small bed in his rented room, staring out at the dark night while desperately missing them.
He missed Qinglan even more. He almost picked up the phone to call her.
But at the same time, he felt a bit of resentment towards her. That small feeling of hatred suddenly surged from his heart, extinguishing his impulse to call her.
Putting down the phone, he sank into darkness, lost in memories of all the good things about her and many things that made him resentful.
After the New Year, he thought Qinglan would come back to school to find him; at least he hoped she would. He believed she would call him.
Because Shaw Min has his new phone number.
Oh, the lovely, pitiful, dear person. He did not know that during that time, Qinglan was ill; she had no idea he had called Shaw Min, nor did she know that Shaw Min had come to visit her.
Later, when she recovered, Shaw Min had also forgotten to bring it up with her.
Moreover, Shaw Min did not know when An Shaojie changed his phone number. She thought Qinglan knew the new number and might have assumed that An Shaojie had also called Qinglan. Because she and Bai Cuifen really did not know what had happened between An Shaojie and Qinglan, as Qinglan had not told anyone.
So, during the entire winter break when Qinglan was sick and missing him, he was actually missing her too. The loneliness and solitude he felt were no less than the illness he suffered for her.
However, after missing her for a long time and growing tired of it, when the person he longed for did not appear before him as he expected, his longing turned into resentment!
Indeed, if Qinglan knew his new number, she would definitely call him as he wished and would come to Beijing to celebrate the New Year with him as he hoped.
But in reality, until now, Qinglan still did not know his new number. How could she accompany him? How could she find him?
Yet, An Shaojie was unaware of these circumstances. So when school started again and Qinglan returned to campus, all of An Shaojie's longing for her had transformed into resentment.
Just as Qinglan guessed, at the very moment before she arrived at the rental apartment, An Shaojie was still sitting in the chair she had just occupied, reading. Feeling somewhat fatigued, he took a stroll around the community. Just as he was about to return, he noticed Qinglan carrying bags at the entrance of the community walking inside.
He froze for a second and hesitated for half a minute. He originally intended to approach her but suddenly darted behind a large tree to avoid her.
After Qinglan went upstairs, he waited for her downstairs in the hallway. He watched her go out to buy groceries and then return with them, gazing at her silhouette illuminated by the kitchen light from above.
Several times he felt an impulse to rush upstairs. If he missed her so much, why hide from her? If he missed her so much, why resent her? If he loved her, why not love her properly? If he loved her, why not remember her good qualities? Why not let go of all the things he once thought were wrong? Did he really have to treat her this way?
After several attempts to rush up, he retreated halfway back down with his head hung low. He knew that he still loved her but could not change himself. He had grown accustomed to treating her with indifference and in ways others found incomprehensible.
It wasn't until he saw her walking away with bags in hand that he finally went upstairs. He knew she would not return this time because she had never stayed here overnight.
Back at the rental apartment, dishes and red wine were still laid out on the dining table.
There was a note on the table. An Shaojie picked it up and read, "I know you must be downstairs. The food has gone cold. When you come back, please heat it up yourself in the pot before eating. Two glasses of red wine—my glass, whether you are sitting across from me or not, I have already toasted with you under the candlelight. Yours, you can drink it yourself. Qinglan."
Following Qinglan's instructions, An Shaojie heated the food and sat at the table slowly eating. As he ate, tears streamed down his face.
Why did he have to do this? They could have enjoyed a lovely candlelit dinner together, but he insisted on making it a lonely and sorrowful affair.
In the end, he finished his glass of red wine in one gulp. After clearing the table, he placed the unfinished bottle of red wine in the center of the table.
That night, he didn’t read anymore and went straight to bed.
The next day, Qinglan originally planned to wake up early to catch An Shaojie at his rental apartment. She believed he would be there. Additionally, she had left a few bags there that she needed to take back to her dormitory.
However, after a tiring journey, she woke up close to nine o'clock. If it hadn't been for Mosen's phone call from Jiang Liuying's house waking her up, she and Jiang Liuying would probably have slept until ten.
Qinglan muttered, "Not good," and hurriedly got out of bed, washing up carelessly.
Jiang Liuying inexplicably asked her several times, "What's wrong?" but she didn't answer and just left.
When she rushed to the rental apartment, the door was still tightly shut and locked.
Qinglan knew he wasn't there again. Pushing open the door revealed signs that he had indeed just left. As Qinglan entered the room, her eyes first scanned the desk because the changes on it were too obvious. There were many fewer books than before.
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