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墨書 Inktalez
After entering the house, Qinglan still wore a gloomy expression, appearing very tired and impatient. Xu Wen, who originally intended to discuss internship matters with her, decided against it upon seeing her demeanor.
He didn't understand what he had done to upset her today. He had thought about that one comment for a long time and found nothing excessive about it. As for interning at the same unit as her, he had indeed begged his mother to help him make the connection, wanting to look out for her. Although they were not in a romantic relationship, he had always taken care of her and had never seen her lose her temper before. Besides, hadn't he told her that even though they could never be a couple, he still considered her his best friend? He had promised to help her whenever she faced difficulties, and she had agreed!
Why did she suddenly change today?
Fortunately, Xu Wen was a gentleman and did not take her sudden hostility to heart. He calmly reminded Qinglan to take care of herself, to contact him if she needed anything, and to call him when she started her internship.
Qinglan's anger was irrational and inexplicable. After venting, although her mood hadn't completely shifted, she felt somewhat better. So when Xu Wen was about to leave, she managed a smile and thanked him.
Xu Wen said, "Do you still have to be so polite with me?"
Though his expression and tone were teasingly reproachful, it made Qinglan's heart ache. At the same time, a conflicting voice in her mind began to shout at her, making her feel inexplicably irritated. She was somewhat eager for him to leave quickly, so she didn't respond to Xu Wen but turned away from him, clearly indicating that she wanted him to go.
Xu Wen paused at the door for a moment; she continued to face away from him. After a while, he turned and hurried down the stairs, disappearing from sight.
Once Xu Wen's figure vanished, Qinglan swiftly closed the door behind him as if afraid he might come back.
Leaning against the door panel with her eyes slightly closed, tears streamed down her face.
Yes, she couldn't wait for him to leave; otherwise, she would be unable to hold back her tears in front of him. Seeing him made her heart ache too much. Now, whenever Qinglan saw him, there were countless emotions she couldn't suppress. But she knew that things had changed; they could never go back to how they were before—there was no chance left.
Once upon a time, such a beautiful love stood before her; such a wonderful person stood in front of her. She decisively let go without hesitation. That letting go truly meant forever.
People are always in pursuit of eternity, but some eternities are filled with desolation and sorrow, a kind of mistake and missed opportunity, an eternity that can never be returned to.
She, who usually had a good temper, did not understand why she suddenly became irritable. Out of nowhere, she snapped at Xu Wen, driven by some instinct? Or perhaps a mindset of insecurity? It didn't matter if Xu Wen treated her well; she felt unworthy of such kindness. Conversely, if Xu Wen was indifferent, it filled her with a fear of losing everything.
In short, seeing Xu Wen continue to care for her as always stirred up inexplicable irritation and sadness within her. She knew that Xu Wen was trying every means to get her into the same unit, simply to take care of her like before, fearing that she would be lonely. However, while she was touched by this kindness, she also felt a desire to escape, to distance herself from Xu Wen and not allow him to be so kind to her anymore.
That evening, after tidying up at home for a while, she found some belongings left behind by An Shaojie, mainly old books. She carefully sorted them one by one and placed them in a cardboard box. No matter where he went, perhaps one day he would return to take these things away. Since childhood, he had cherished his possessions dearly and could never bear to part with any old item, especially books, which he regarded as treasures.
After finishing the tidying up, she boiled a kettle of water and sat quietly in the dark while sipping. She now enjoyed this solitude in the dark night. In the past, she found such moments unbearably lonely and difficult to endure; youth always preferred liveliness. But now she relished it, as it allowed her to organize her thoughts, contemplate her future, or reminisce about the past, calming her restless heart.
Yet her heart could never settle down peacefully; during this time, she often felt inexplicably anxious. She had a premonition that something was about to happen that would plunge her heart into darkness.
Around ten o'clock, the stuffy heat in the room gradually dissipated as the coolness of the night began to seep indoors. A refreshing breeze flowed through the window. Qinglan tidied herself up a bit before heading to bed.
Lazily leaning against the bed, although her mind was filled with countless thoughts, drowsiness washed over her. Recently, she had been particularly prone to fatigue; her period was also delayed, likely due to her unstable emotions. Therefore, she tried hard to control her feelings.
Despite feeling very sleepy, she tossed and turned until deep into the night before finally drifting off.
After spending two days at school without much happening, Qinglan decided it was best to report to her internship unit first.
That day after breakfast, as she prepared to walk toward the bus stop with her backpack on, her phone suddenly rang.
"Where are you?" Xu Wen's calm voice came through.
Qinglan felt as if Xu Wen was right around her. She looked around and asked, "What’s up?"
Ever since she officially got together with An Shaojie, her relationship with Xu Wen was no longer the ambiguous closeness it used to be. She had become much more open towards him, perhaps because she realized that no matter how perfect she tried to appear, she was well aware that she could never be perfect. It was better not to hold back. He seemed to gradually accept her open attitude, showing less of the refined demeanor he used to have and appearing more easygoing and casual, which made him seem even more carefree and handsome.
"Let's go to the internship site together. I'll come pick you up right away; just tell me where you are," he said. His tone was a bit more domineering than before, or perhaps it was just less polite than it used to be.
He really is someone who has studied the I Ching, a true fortune teller! Thinking back to his teasing in the car yesterday, Qinglan couldn't help but smile. She had tossed and turned all night, trying to convince herself to maintain a calm mindset. No matter what the future held, she would face challenges as they came; maintaining a peaceful state of mind was most important. So when she woke up this morning, her perspective had broadened significantly, and her mood had improved as well. Qinglan shared her location, and soon Xu Wen's car arrived beside her. Since their workplace was within Beijing, interns could either stay at the office or commute back and forth easily. To handle occasional urgent matters at school conveniently, Xu Wen decided it was best to use his own car for commuting. Upon arriving at the internship site, some interns had already been there for a few days while others had yet to arrive; Qinglan and Xu Wen were among those who came in between.
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