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After sobbing for a while, Lin Xi realized that she wasn't crying for her own issues today; compared to her, Qinglan seemed to be the one who should be crying. So she quickly wiped her tears, looked up, and asked Qinglan, "What's wrong with you?"
Oh, no, she had asked the wrong question and hurriedly corrected herself, "What's wrong with An Shaojie?"
Lin Xi hadn't intended to ask about this in front of Liuying, but it seemed they already knew about it. Perhaps it was because of this matter that Jiang Liuying accompanied Qinglan to this place. Otherwise, at such a late hour, Jiang Liuying wouldn't have come to be with her instead of helping Mosen review for his graduate entrance exams. So she decided to ask directly.
"How would I know what's wrong with him? You should ask him about his matters," Qinglan immediately withdrew her earlier concerned expression and adopted a cold demeanor, dismissing Lin Xi's inquiry. She appeared proud as she distanced herself from An Shaojie and their relationship, but anyone could see that the more proud her exterior was, the more she was trying to hide her vulnerability and despair.
Lin Xi quickly stopped the conversation, and for a moment, the three of them fell into silence.
Suddenly, Jiang Liuying's phone in her pocket rang; it was Mosen calling her to ask where she was and to invite her back to their rented apartment.
Jiang Liuying had initially wanted to accompany Qinglan for a walk regarding her situation with An Shaojie, particularly concerning An Shaojie's sudden departure abroad. She didn't know much about it and had only heard classmates discussing it in the classroom earlier. In fact, she hadn't figured out how to comfort Qinglan yet and didn't plan on asking about any details, fearing that probing into private or sensitive matters would make Qinglan even more distressed.
Just then, Lin Xi arrived. Jiang Liuying knew that one of the girls mentioned in the version discussed by classmates was Lin Xi's good friend Su Hailu. Perhaps Lin Xi knew some background information and also knew An Shaojie. Therefore, she felt that tonight Lin Xi would be more suitable for a heart-to-heart talk with Qinglan while she could avoid the topic.
So Mosen's call came at just the right time. She stood up and brushed off the grass from her clothes, saying that Mosen needed her for something urgent.
"Okay, you can go," Lin Xi waved her hand. She also wanted to talk privately with Qinglan for a while, so she didn't try to keep Jiang Liuying there.
"Make sure to take her back to rest early," Jiang Liuying relayed Xu Wen's advice to Lin Xi.
"Sure," Lin Xi replied.
After Jiang Liuying left, Lin Xi directly said, "I only heard about it tonight; it spread in class that Su Hailu took An Shaojie abroad. I can't believe Su Hailu kept this from me."
"If An Shaojie wants to keep it from me, of course she will keep it from you," Qinglan said coldly.
"What she did is so despicable, don't you think? How can she face me again? Unless she never comes back to the country, otherwise..." Lin Xi gritted her teeth in anger.
"What can you do? Since they dared to do this, they must have thought about the consequences. Not coming back is also an option. Even if they do come back, whether or not they see you is another matter. What does it matter if they have any shame? Besides, even if they see you, what can you do? Moreover, Su Hailu hasn't done anything wrong. An Shaojie is unmarried, and she is not married either; she has the right to pursue her own love." Qinglan's calmness made her seem like she was analyzing someone else's situation, which caught Lin Xi's attention.
"I know that the one you really hate is An Shaojie, right?" Lin Xi turned to look at Qinglan, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that had been blown by the wind. Unconsciously, her hand slid down to Qinglan's cheek, her thumb lightly brushing away the tears on her face. "Of course Su Hailu hasn't done anything wrong. Even if she didn't hide it from me and openly pursued him in front of you, that wouldn't be wrong either. If love can be taken away, then such love isn't true love at all. Why should you be sad? Although Su Hailu hid it from us, I don't think it has reached the level of stealing. You don't need to be sad over such love and such a person."
"I'm not angry with him, nor am I sad," Qinglan said. "I'm angry with myself."
"What's the point of hating yourself? Who hasn't made mistakes? Who's youth hasn't been filled with stumbling? Just let go of him; starting over is all that's needed. We are still young; we have a long youth ahead of us. We should spend the remaining days happily and cherish our youth without regrets," Lin Xi said as she tightly embraced Qinglan's shoulders.
Qinglan remained motionless, tears streaming down her face even more freely. "Youth?" A hint of sarcasm appeared at the corner of her mouth. "You still have youth, but I don't anymore. Some people's mistakes can be redone, but my mistake is utterly irredeemable—there's no chance to turn back."
"How could that be? Don't be foolish; don't get stuck in a rut," Lin Xi said while wiping away the tears on Qinglan's face and her own, her voice choked with emotion.
"No, Lin Xi, you don't understand..." Qinglan suddenly turned around and grabbed Lin Xi's arms fiercely, shaking her violently. She buried her head deep in Lin Xi's chest, trembling all over.
"What's wrong, Lanlan? What happened? Are you okay? Whatever it is, tell me so we can solve it together. I'm really worried about you like this," Lin Xi tried to push her away gently and lift her head but couldn't help but hold her tightly again.
"It can't be solved, Lin Xi; no one can solve my problems." She hid in Lin Xi's embrace and refused to lift her head up, trembling like a frightened child hiding in their mother's arms. Her disheveled hair shook as she desperately shook her head, tears soaking Lin Xi's shirt.
Lin Xi was frightened, holding Qinglan's head and face, repeatedly asking, "What's wrong, Lanlan? You’re making me very worried, do you know that? If there's something you want to tell us, keeping it inside will only make it worse. You’ll suffocate yourself."
Qinglan continued to cry without saying a word until she grew tired and leaned on her shoulder.
After sending her back to the dormitory, Lin Xi stood on her own balcony for a long time. Qinglan's unusual behavior that night made her uneasy. If it was just a breakup, the fact that An Shaojie had abandoned her for Su Hailu to go abroad should not have caused such a strong reaction. Everyone knew that her relationship with An Shaojie had always been inconsistent; he had never given her promises of a lifetime or a sense of security. She should have been mentally prepared for this, so why was she in such unbearable pain at this moment?
There must be another reason! What could it be? While walking back, Qinglan had always been in front of her. In just one short summer vacation, she had changed significantly. Had she gained weight? It didn’t seem so; that didn’t make sense. How could someone who had just been deeply loved and recently cried uncontrollably over a breakup suddenly gain weight?
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