Xu Wen decided to go to the library and bookstore to look up some relevant books to see what state Qinglan was in, hoping she wouldn't have any mental issues. She wondered if this state would affect the fetus. After researching many books, she found a type of pregnancy syndrome that described a condition somewhat similar to Qinglan's, which indeed could impact the fetus and required emotional adjustment to maintain a cheerful mood.
Xu Wen racked her brain but couldn't think of any way to lift her spirits. After all, the fetus in her belly was not supposed to come into this world so early, and there was nothing to celebrate or congratulate about.
The only thing she could do was to spend more time with her, chat with her more often, distract her attention, and do her best to take care of her. Xu Wen couldn't think of any other methods. Although the baby in her womb was not welcomed by society, since it had chosen to come into this world early, all she could do was treat it with utmost care.
At the same time, she also reminded Lin Xi to come by more often when she had free time to chat and take walks with Qinglan.
That day, Lin Xi happened to be there. On her way back from her internship, Xu Wen stopped by the market to buy some vegetables and cooked a few dishes with Lin Xi.
It was noon, and the autumn sunlight poured in like golden satin, bright and transparent, casting its glow on the bright glass dining table. Lin Xi mentioned that she would be leaving the next day to start her internship.
She was supposed to leave much earlier but had taken a few days off due to Qinglan's situation, which delayed her departure.
Qinglan stood up and raised the cup in front of her; it contained plain water. She used water instead of wine to toast Lin Xi, saying, "Lin Xi, thank you." She forced a smile.
Although it was a forced smile, it was still a rare sight. Lin Xi and Xu Wen both sighed in relief and exchanged smiles.
Lin Xi hurriedly stood up as well. "You don't need to stand up; just sit down," she said while helping pull out the chair for Qinglan and guiding her back into it. After taking a sip of wine, she turned to Xu Wen and said, "Xu Wen, you don't need to say anything; I'll drink this cup for you. Thank you for taking care of my sister."
After finishing the drink, Lin Xi leaned on the table with both hands, lowering her head. Her short hair covered part of her face, contrasting with her usual gentle demeanor and giving her a somewhat sorrowful appearance. After holding back for a long time, she ultimately couldn't contain herself any longer; tears slowly welled up in her eyes.
Qinglan quietly observed this scene, her expression remaining calm and unperturbed. She had always been a composed person, but now she seemed even more numb and indifferent to the changes around her.
After dinner, Xu Wen went to work, while Qinglan sat by the window in the restaurant. The brilliant sunlight outside filtered through the thin curtains, creating a bright beam of light inside, where Qinglan sat. She didn't like going out much these days, preferring to enjoy the sunlight this way or sitting on the balcony.
Lin Xi was washing dishes in the kitchen. After finishing, she advised Qinglan to take a break before heading out to school.
As she reached the entrance, Qinglan called out to her, "Are you busy?"
Lin Xi paused for a moment and turned back to look at Qinglan. "Not busy."
She expected Qinglan to say something, but after waiting for a long time without another word from her, Lin Xi stood there as well, showing no intention of changing her shoes to leave.
"Even when you're not busy, you never stay behind to keep me company for a while." Qinglan got up and walked in front of her, taking her hand and leading her into the room. "Even if you have nothing troubling you or anything to say about my current situation, you never stay behind to comfort me? Are you afraid I might consume you or that you might consume me?"
Once inside the room, she released Lin Xi's hand, pushing her onto the bed. Lin Xi shot her an angry glare. During this time, she had seen Qinglan looking listless and weak, yet at this moment, where did she find such strength? Lin Xi moved her wrist that Qinglan had gripped painfully and said, "You! Where did you get this strength? Do you have a problem with me?" She spoke defiantly but didn't dare meet Qinglan's eyes, stubbornly turning her face toward the wall.
Lin Xi knew that Qinglan wanted her to stay not just for comfort.
The desolate look in Qinglan's eyes when they met after school was different from before. Even when she had quarreled with Lu Chenyu in the past, she had confidence in his love for her. Any sadness then was minor and could not penetrate deeply; it wouldn't even harm her flesh. But this sense of desolation since returning to school was pervasive and invasive, becoming an inherent part of her being. This innate sorrow seemed to change her originally calm demeanor into one of silence and melancholy.
Moreover, every time she visited Qinglan, it was less about caring for her and more about alleviating her own overwhelming loneliness. Perhaps that wasn't very kind to say, but it was mutually beneficial. Each time she came over, she appeared hurried to leave but would glance back at Qinglan with a hint of reluctance and an unspoken desire to say something. Yet perhaps fearing it would disturb Qinglan, she silently departed.
Also, her recent tears were not solely for Qinglan. Upon hearing that Qinglan was pregnant and An Shaojie had abandoned her, Lin Xi had already shed tears of sorrow for her. Even now thinking back on it brought tears that were far from quiet sobs. Thus, her crying should stem from an unbearable pain within herself.
Qinglan remained silent, staring intently at Lin Xi.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?" Lin Xi touched her face, forcing a smile.
"Lin Xi, tell me, did something happen between you and Lu Chenyu?" The reason for using the word "also" was that Qinglan was worried about this matter. She had never been sure about her own outcome with An Shaojie. Although she had fantasized about a sweet ending, most of the time, she didn't hold out much hope. She had even considered the worst outcome, which was roughly what was happening now. So for Qinglan, perhaps others saw her as a cheerful and optimistic girl in daily life, and this sorrow was just a result of the current situation. But Qinglan knew that ever since she began to follow An Shaojie like a shadow, the sorrow in her heart had been following her as well. Thus, her past calmness and happiness were merely external; the sorrow was deeply rooted within her.
The ending had long been anticipated, so the sorrow only deepened slightly rather than being sudden and unexpected.
But Lin Xi was different. In everyone's eyes during her childhood, she was a lucky girl. As she grew up, she remained bright and cheerful, so her life should be bright, and her love should be bright too. Shouldn't it? Lu Chenyu was originally a sunny boy, so full of sunshine and with such a radiant smile; the love he gave to Lin Xi should be as sunny and bright as he was. An Shaojie belonged to the darker side.
Since she was already like this, Qinglan didn't want anything to happen to Lin Xi. She had secretly given all her blessings to her, hoping for her happiness. Therefore, seeing Lin Xi like this made her even more anxious than if it were about herself.
"No, nothing happened." Lin Xi straightened up but still didn't dare to look at Qinglan. Her hands were clasped together, thumbs nervously picking at her nails. "Really nothing?" Qinglan continued to ask. Under Qinglan's stern gaze, Lin Xi felt weak and murmured softly, "He hasn't contacted me during the summer break."
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