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墨書 Inktalez
"Have you not contacted him either?" Qinglan asked, placing her hands on Lin Xi's shoulders.
Lin Xi shook her head, staring at her own hands, her gaze unfocused. "Hmm."
"Why not?" Qinglan sat down beside her on the edge of the bed, gently resting a hand on Lin Xi's shoulder, and asked softly.
"He hasn't contacted me, so how can I contact him?" Lin Xi felt resentment in her heart, disregarding Qinglan's concern and warmth, turning her body away instead.
"Is it just because he hasn't contacted you?" Qinglan turned Lin Xi's body to face her, forcing her to look into her eyes. "Answer me." It was a commanding tone, like an older sister speaking to a younger one.
This shift in roles and identities was something Lin Xi had never considered. Since childhood, she had been the older sister while Qinglan was the younger one. Whenever they were alone together, she always guided and cared for Qinglan as an older sister should. The only times they followed Qinglan's lead were when she directed them in games against An Shaojie and other children from the village. But today, it felt as if Qinglan was speaking to her as an older sister, requiring Lin Xi to listen.
It was unclear whether Qinglan had matured after experiencing certain things and now seemed more like an older sister or if Lin Xi had become as fragile as a child after Lu Chenyu left her, obediently vulnerable in front of Qinglan, evoking a sense of heartbreak.
"I..." Lin Xi hesitated. "I'm scared."
"What are you scared of?" Qinglan placed her hands on Lin Xi's shoulders, looking at her intently. "You love him; what’s there to be scared of?"
Lin Xi lowered her eyelids like a child who had done something wrong, or like a baby desperately yearning for their mother's embrace, burying her head in Qinglan's arm. "Because I said I would break up with him, and he hasn't contacted me since, so I'm scared..."
"Are you afraid he won't care about you?" Before Lin Xi could finish her sentence, Qinglan interrupted.
"Yeah." Lin Xi rested her head against Qinglan's shoulder.
"Call him right now," Qinglan said in a commanding tone. "If Lu Chenyu loves you, no matter how many times he says he wants to break up, he won't ignore you. Of course, if he doesn't love you, making this call will be a good way to put an end to things since he hasn't given you any answer."
Lin Xi lifted her head from Qinglan's embrace and obediently went to the living room to find her bag and get her phone. Just as she entered the room and was about to dial Lu Chenyu's number, a sudden ringing sound echoed in the room. The two of them looked around for the source of the sound, and a handbag on the desk vibrated slightly, revealing that the ringing was coming from there.
Qinglan picked up the bag, rummaged through it, and took out her phone. Looking at it, she said to Lin Xi, "It's Simple."
On the phone, Simple said she was at Qinglan's old rented apartment and asked why Qinglan wasn't there and where she was now.
Qinglan felt a jolt of anxiety; Simple had already started working and hadn't contacted her for a long time due to her busy schedule. Today wasn't even the weekend—why had she come over?
Simple still didn't know that Qinglan was pregnant or that An Shaojie had gone abroad. Qinglan didn't want her to know these things. During their occasional phone calls, she hadn't mentioned her situation, only saying that she was currently interning. It wasn't that Qinglan wanted to deliberately hide anything from her; it was just that Simple had always been carefree. Qinglan worried that if Simple found out about these matters, with her straightforward and impulsive nature, she might get upset and start shouting about it everywhere. Most importantly, she would definitely tell Jian Ming, and once Jian Ming knew, he would certainly inform Shaw Min. Once Shaw Min found out, many more people would inevitably learn about it, making things even more complicated.
This was an embarrassing situation that only Xu Wen and Lin Xi knew about; she certainly didn't want anyone else to find out. Especially not Shaw Min.
After An Shaojie went abroad, An Shaomin hadn't contacted her again. So Qinglan thought that Shaw Min must have already learned about An Shaojie's departure. If she knew, then her mother would definitely know too. If her mother knew, then Qinglan's father and mother—and likely everyone in Liu Family Village—would know as well.
Now her situation must be a big joke in Liu Family Village. Since childhood, people there had laughed at Qinglan being part of the An family. Although An Shaojie later treated her poorly, Bai Cuifen and An Shaomin had consistently regarded her as one of their own. Most importantly, Qinglan had always considered herself part of the An family. Even when gossip about her spread throughout Liu Family Village during difficult times with her father and Bai Cuifen's animosity towards them, Qinglan never wavered in her commitment. Everyone in Liu Family Village had witnessed this; wasn't it now a huge joke in their eyes?
Of course, with Qinglan's stubborn personality, she wasn't afraid of being laughed at.
For so many years, regardless of everything else, she resolutely pursued him without looking back. No matter the outcome, Qinglan had no intention of turning back. So when she learned that she was pregnant while An Shaojie was far away in another country, it must have seemed tragic to outsiders. Even Xu Wen and Lin Xi, who understood her well, were worried about her and tread carefully around their words or actions for fear of touching on sensitive topics that might upset her. When they went out for walks together and saw children by the roadside, they didn't dare approach them to play. They wanted to chat with other pregnant women to learn about pregnancy tips but couldn't bring themselves to say a word; they pretended not to see them instead. Even when looking at books about pregnancy and babies, they avoided bringing them up around her. However, only Qinglan herself knew that although she appeared quieter than before on the surface, inside she wasn't as sorrowful as one might think. She was merely reflecting on the youthful journey she'd taken over the past twenty years; from now on, she could no longer be young. Her girlhood had ended along with the beautiful youth that many cherished memories were tied to. Yes, regarding the path she'd walked in the past, she had no regrets or excessive sadness but certainly held onto many memories. After all, she was just over twenty years old—at the prime of youth—when one should be vibrant and full of life; this was the golden period of adolescence when girls were busy dating, applying lipstick, serving coffee, drinking milk tea, wearing tank tops and short skirts while shining brightly like flowers. Yet here she was with a baby bump—not only facing motherhood but also holding a child in her arms while changing diapers amidst their cries—prematurely ending her youth in obscurity and dullness.
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