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墨書 Inktalez
Later, Lin Xi went to their old place almost every day to look for him, visiting the high school they once attended together. She hoped that one day he would suddenly appear in these places, and they would meet again. She climbed the mountains they had once climbed, went to the cinema where they used to watch movies, and visited every place they had enjoyed together, hoping he would follow their past footsteps to find her.
However, six years passed, and there was no trace of him anywhere they had once played. There was no news or sign of him.
Now she still occasionally visits the Old House where he used to live with his grandparents. The Old House had long since changed owners, and the new owners recognized her. When they saw her wandering in the neighborhood, they would say, "Miss, who exactly is he to you? Does he owe you money? He doesn't seem like it; they look like a very honest middle-aged couple."
Lin Xi would smile at them and say, "No."
"Oh," they would respond with a comforting smile.
Later, when they saw her again, they began to say, "Miss, they really moved away; the house was indeed sold to us. They won't be coming back. Who are they to you? Do you really need to find them?"
At first, Lin Xi did not answer their question and just smiled at them.
As the questions increased, Lin Xi said, "I know they won't come back; I just came to take a look. I know their son; I am a friend of their son."
"Oh," they realized. "So you're his girlfriend."
Later on, when they saw Lin Xi, they kept advising her not to come anymore. Even as a friend, she had done her part; she was still young and could find another boyfriend.
Lin Xi just smiled. After that, she only smiled.
Eventually, as they became familiar with each other, neither side spoke anymore; they only smiled at each other.
On one hand, although Lin Xi verbally acknowledged that she knew they wouldn't return and had begun to believe it in her heart, she was certain that her Lu Chenyu had disappeared without reason. He vanished completely from her world on that rainy afternoon when she told him it was over.
But on the other hand, she always felt as if an invisible thread was pulling her, drawing her here every so often, as if there were a voice in her ear, faint yet persistent, telling her, "He is here, he has always been here."
Thus, she wandered like a lonely figure on the edge of the city, surrounded by the bustling metropolis on both sides and in front and behind her, yet she walked alone on the deserted streets. She was not searching for her life; she was searching for an answer that she wanted to know, one that she should know or had the right to know.
Why did he suddenly leave her?
Was it simply because she said she wanted to break up?
Clearly not. How many times had she caused a scene over a breakup? Even if they really broke up, couldn't they still be friends?
Was it because he had fallen for someone else?
If that were the reason for such a dramatic disappearance, even God would not believe it. If he liked someone else, then so be it; she would just have to endure the pain. But it shouldn't be to the extent of making him think he was so important! Did he really have to disappear completely to make her forget him?
Was it because he didn't want to see her? Just because he didn't want to see her? Such a simple reason for disappearing? It was even more ridiculous. What was his reason for not wanting to see her? After a few break-up arguments, could it really lead him to hate her this much? Lin Xi would never be so arrogant as to inflate her importance in his heart to such an extent.
So what was it really? What made him take such a ruthless and complete step to disappear?
Rather than saying Lin Xi still thought of him in her heart, it would be more accurate to say that she had too many feelings of denial, confusion, and even an unwillingness to accept being abandoned. She felt inexplicably and thoroughly cast aside.
All these feelings—denial, confusion, unwillingness to accept, resentment, and abandonment—made Lin Xi feel a deep sense of despair at the mockery of fate.
This despair allowed her to live among the hustle and bustle of the city like an ordinary person during the day. But when night fell, she would sink into decay and self-destruction. Even if occasionally she intentionally placed herself in the midst of bright lights and indulgence, the feelings of decay, loneliness, and powerlessness still spread like a virus, consuming her healthy cells and plunging her into darkness.
Every time Qinglan saw her lonely, slender figure, she couldn't help but feel a pang of heartache and wanted to scold her a few times.
She was not the type of girl who was thin and frail; she had always been plump and round, like a sweet and sour candied hawthorn, cute, dignified, and graceful. However, due to Lu Chenyu's disappearance, she had become a solitary and desolate figure, making her appear very thin, especially in the Desolate Autumn Wind or the chilly early spring. The cold wind would lift her long black hair and blow it against her fair face as she stood upright in the wind, turning to smile at Qinglan, alluring yet sorrowful.
Or perhaps he had another reason? A reason that was good for her? This was what Lin Xi preferred to believe, which is why Lin Xi had been so persistent in searching for him and waiting for him all these years.
Therefore, Qinglan wanted her to come to her company. Besides wanting to give her and Xu Wen a chance to get along, there was also the idea of wanting her to leave the Provincial Capital, away from those familiar places that held memories and reminders of Lu Chenyu.
Qinglan remained seated in the same position, quietly lost in thought.
A brief recollection felt like it spanned a century. Starting from the Ice Age, breaking through ice, entering cracks, traversing mountains and seas, cutting through thorns and brambles, enduring hardships day and night, overcoming numerous obstacles—like an army charging forward—she arrived at this bustling world before her, utterly exhausted. It turned out that the long journey of thoughts was just as tiring as a long physical journey.
Yes, Qinglan felt somewhat weary and fatigued. Over the years, whenever she recalled certain past events and these chaotic matters, it felt as painful as experiencing a war—more exhausting than a day’s work at the company. Thus, unknowingly, she leaned back against the chair and dozed off.
When she opened her eyes again, it was already late afternoon. The weak sunlight was partially obscured yet reluctant to leave; the evening breeze felt cooler and more desolate.
Qinglan rubbed her eyes and was just about to get up when she noticed Qingmei staring at her with wide eyes. "Mommy," she called out.
"Oh, you're awake! My dear," Qinglan's mood shifted quickly as she immediately broke into a happy smile. Looking at her with joy, she asked, "When did you wake up?"
Qingmei pouted and replied, "I woke up early; I was watching Mommy sleep."
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