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墨書 Inktalez
"I will not marry Xu Wen, so don't waste your thoughts on that. You should think about yourself," Lin Xi turned her face away, looking out the window with her brows tightly knitted.
Qinglan was puzzled.
It had been two years, or at least since Lin Xi started working at the company and began collaborating with Xu Wen. Qinglan had rarely seen her looking so troubled. Even if she wasn't always cheerful, Qinglan felt that over the past two years, Lin Xi seemed happy around Xu Wen, almost making Qinglan believe that she was happy because of him or that she had forgotten the shadows of her past.
Unexpectedly, she suddenly returned to the way she was two years ago, as if there was an unshakable pain lingering in her heart.
Two years ago, it was because of Lu Chenyu that she had almost closed off her heart.
Hadn't she opened her heart over these two years?
Why did she suddenly curl up again, hiding in a dark corner?
From Qinglan's perspective, she stood in a place by the window where sunlight couldn't reach. Next to her was bright light, and outside the window was brilliant sunshine, yet she remained enveloped in darkness.
Qinglan wondered if she had made a mistake.
Just because she didn't mention Lu Chenyu didn't mean she had forgotten him.
But she couldn't understand why her emotions surged so suddenly and intensely. Even if she hadn't forgotten him, since she could refrain from mentioning him for two years and pretend to forget him, why couldn't she continue to do so?
Qinglan walked up behind her and asked, "What's wrong? Why the sudden change?"
After standing silently for a moment, Lin Xi slowly turned around. "Lanlan, you should really hold onto Xu Wen and marry him soon. Good things are fleeting; once they're gone, they won't come back. You've missed him many times already, and it's a miracle that he is still by your side."
Qinglan fell silent, recalling her own experiences with Xu Wen. Back in college, when she was disheartened waiting for An Shaojie and preparing to accept him, An Shaojie suddenly accepted her instead, causing her to miss out on Xu Wen.
After so many years, she finally made up her mind to marry Xu Wen, but suddenly her childhood friend fell ill. Their wedding date kept getting postponed, and now, no one mentioned it anymore.
Qinglan wondered if she and Xu Wen were destined to be apart from the very beginning.
Even now, she was still unmarried, and he was still single, yet Qinglan increasingly lost confidence in the bond between her and Xu Wen.
He was becoming more and more outstanding, while she felt like a burden.
Qinglan looked at her friend lying on the hospital bed, walked over, sat beside her, and gently stroked her slowly sleeping face.
"I guess there’s no fate between him and me," Qinglan took a deep breath and softly voiced the worries that had been on her mind.
"How can there be no fate?" Lin Xi rushed in front of her. "You just haven't truly made up your mind, right? You still can't forget... him..." Lin Xi pointed at the sleeping friend.
Qinglan smirked sarcastically, "Actually, it's you who hasn't forgotten Lu Chenyu. Do you think everyone is like you?"
Qinglan suddenly stood up. "Why should I forget him? What makes him unforgettable? He was just a poor boy before, and now he’s just someone who used women to travel abroad; he’s still a poor boy. He never deserved me in the past; I was just foolish. Now... now... what makes Xu Wen any worse than him? Why should I not be able to forget him?"
Lin Xi was taken aback by Qinglan's sudden outburst and murmured, "If you know this, then why don’t you hold onto Xu Wen? Do you really think I wouldn’t dare to marry him? It’s just that... my situation is different from yours."
When it came to Lu Chenyu, Lin Xi seemed lost. "Lu Chenyu... I always feel like he’s not what we imagine him to be. I feel like he’s always been by my side... I really can’t let go of him. Where is he in this world?"
Lin Xi's eyes became slightly moist.
"Lin Xi," Qinglan called her name and handed her a tissue.
She took the tissue and smiled. "Lanlan, I know you mean well and have been trying to bring me and Xu Wen together, but I'm different from you; I really have no fate with him. First, I haven’t truly let go of Lu Chenyu. Second, the person he genuinely likes is you. He treats me well only because of you; can’t you see that? So it’s absolutely impossible for me and him. I’ll say this clearly: even without Lu Chenyu, I wouldn’t be with him; he belongs to your happiness, not mine. Even if it’s not Lu Chenyu, I will seek my own happiness. So hurry up and hold onto him; don’t let him slip away again. Not every bond between people comes and goes repeatedly. You are lucky, do you know that? Because he has always been by your side. The reason you are fortunate is that he loves you and has always been there for you."
Qinglan sat in the chair, lost in thought and silent. After a while, her heart felt as if it had been drained, and she said softly, "I've already come to terms with it. What does it matter if we are a good match? Let those thoughts go to hell. As long as he loves me, and we love each other, that's happiness. So, I want to hold onto him tightly and never let him go. The day before Beautiful got sick, I promised him that I would marry him. But now..." Qinglan sighed and continued, "He hasn't brought it up again. I... I can't just go to him and say I want to get married!"
Qinglan looked at Lin Xi with helplessness and frustration in her eyes.
Lin Xi stomped her foot and poked Qinglan's forehead, saying angrily, "You two are such a pair."
Qinglan pretended to be pushed back by her.
Suddenly, the ward was filled with laughter again. The sunlight outside shone even brighter, making the dull hospital room feel warm and cozy.
The two people standing by the window turned around, looking at the sweetly sleeping Qingmei on the bed with smiles. Neither of them noticed that at the moment they turned, a shadow quickly disappeared from the slightly ajar door of the ward and vanished down the hospital corridor at lightning speed.
Autumn arrived in an instant.
Beijing's autumn was intense; the leaves on the trees in the streets began to turn vibrant shades of red and green.
Liu Jiawei called Qinglan to tell her that he had already gone to Tianjin, accompanied by Xiang Yuanqiu.
"Xiang Yuanqiu." Qinglan shook her head in disbelief and smiled. She couldn't understand how these two ended up together.
Love is truly a situation where those involved are clear while outsiders are confused; no one can unravel it, yet it is profoundly mysterious and intricate.
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