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I shook my head in frustration, lifted the bottle of white wine, and poured myself half a bowl. The clear liquor slid down my throat, bringing a fiery sensation that burned all the way to my heart.
It almost made me cry.
But I still didn't want to reveal everything to my dad at this moment. Unlike me, he still held beautiful hopes for my life; he hadn't seen how deeply I was stuck in the mire, so I wouldn't let him see it just yet.
As his daughter, pampered since childhood, I felt ashamed to face him now that I had become like this.
After sending him off, his words lingered in my mind.
Having been home for a few days, I thought it would be fine to keep my distance from Wang Xu for a couple of days. But deep down, I didn't want to leave; this was my home, my family...
Everything here should belong to both me and Wang Xu. I had lived my life to the point where I felt like I belonged entirely to Wang Xu, almost like an appendix attached to him.
I was unwilling to accept that.
I wanted to ask Miao Miao for her opinion. Just as I was about to call her, she called me first, lowering her voice as she asked, “Zhuang Jun, what are you doing? Do you have time this afternoon?”
“I have time.”
I had been idle for three days; those three days felt like three years.
“Do you remember our old classmate Fu Cen?”
"I remember," said the class monitor.
"He organized a class reunion for tonight and has been arranging it in the class group for several days. I thought you usually don't like to go out, so I signed you up to help you relax a bit. Are you coming?"
I hesitated for a moment but eventually agreed. Considering the approaching end of the year, I found myself in such a deadlock with Wang Xu; it would be good to unwind a little.
Mu Miaomiao drove to pick me up. I casually mentioned what had happened these past few days, thinking that Miao Miao would support my decision to go back home. Instead, she shook her head and said, "Zhuang Jun, you can't go home."
"Why not?"
"Right now, your biggest challenge is Deng Xiaomei. She’s gradually infiltrating your neighborhood and has moved in right below you. If you leave, it’s only a matter of time before she takes over."
A chill ran down my spine at the thought of that scenario; just imagining it terrified me. The fear spread from the depths of my heart. Perhaps it really was just a matter of time before that happened.
"What should I do... Miao Miao, what should I do... You know, Wang Xu has been looking at me coldly these past few days. It feels like... like he really is about to give up on me."
I felt lost and timid. Even today, I still didn't know what to do. Wang Xu's infidelity was an undeniable fact, and the evidence I held was enough to ensure he left with nothing. If I wanted to, I could act on it at any time.
But I didn’t want to and didn’t know how to proceed. I didn’t even know what would happen tomorrow; I didn’t know how to face the mess in front of me. All I could think about was turning back time and having Wang Xu love me.
Only love me.
Mu Miaomiao parked the car in front of Prosperity, pulled the handbrake, then placed her warm hand on my cold wrist. Her eyes were fixed on the vibrant lights ahead as she pointed with her left hand and said, "Zhuang Jun, look at this world; as long as you want it, it can be colorful. I once thought that black was just black and white was just white."
I listened carefully to Mu Miaomiao's words and detected a hint of sadness in them.
"But Wang Nan told me that in relationships, there is no absolute right or wrong. You simply pick what you like, hold it in your hands, and it becomes right. So, between a couple, if the dark side is presented to you and you think it's light, then it is light."
"Miao Miao, you..."
"Zhuang Jun, if you want to try harder, then go ahead. Seeing you like this makes me feel quite distressed. If you can't let go, then hold on tight and give it a shot. If it doesn't work internally, we can deal with the external issue—there's a woman named Deng Xiaomei involved. We can find ways to get rid of her, okay?"
I grasped Miao Miao's hand tightly, a warm current flowing through my heart. Just as Mu Miaomiao advised me, perhaps she also thought this was not right, but after considering my feelings, she proposed it.
"Alright."
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