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墨書 Inktalez
Weeping Bell scattered, the remaining flowers in disarray, Loneliness lingered in the Flower Hall of the deep courtyard. A bit of red was left uncleaned, waiting for the dancer's return.
Life is like an endless process, with the sun rising and the moon setting, stars twinkling in the northern sky. Each day, I observe the various experiences I have gone through in this world, recalling the memories of those events, even the sights I have seen. Suddenly, I feel as if I have lived for a very long time. Have I lived too long? Am I starting to forget many things, or perhaps altering some of my memories? I find myself confused about everything—past, present, and future. The truths that once seemed clear now elude me. Maybe I am lost in my own perspective, or perhaps I am deliberately avoiding something. In any case, I feel directionless.
Perhaps there is no moment of eternal bliss in this world that I am searching for.
What exists are merely beautiful fairy tales accidentally left behind in this realm.
With a soft sigh, I close my eyes again and lie back on the chaise lounge; it’s better to rest well. Daydreaming should be kept to a minimum.
“Mom, there you are! Shaoshao has been looking for you everywhere and couldn’t find you.” If I had known there was such a clingy child in this world, I would surely have felt less maternal instinct at times.
I rise to see this little one who ran over and hugged me without hesitation. “Brat,” I say without courtesy, “how old are you now? Why do you still act like a three-year-old?”
He scratches his head shyly and gives a silly grin. Honestly, he looks so adorable that it’s hard to get angry at him. Looking at his rosy little face, I can’t help but pinch it for a long time before letting go. This little guy has already woken up Xiaobai, who was lazily napping on the tree branch with me. Xiaobai gets up angrily and disdainfully glances at us—mother and son—before swishing its noble tail and walking away to find a more comfortable spot to continue its spring and autumn dreams.
I finally stop pinching him out of mercy. He stands there rubbing his swollen cheeks, looking at me with great grievance. His big eyes seem to say, “How old are you? How can you bully someone younger? Unfair!!!”
I affectionately pull him close and tease, “Little Shao Shao, who told you to be so cute? It makes me want to torment you.” By the end of my sentence, my expression turns wicked like that of a cruel stepmother mistreating a child not her own.
He doesn’t buy into my act and breaks free from my grasp. “When will Father allow you to go back? Although,” Brat glances around Frostfall Palace, which looks vastly different from before, “this place seems much more spacious and beautiful than where you used to be. But every time I have to escape from those palace attendants just to come here and see you—it’s really inconvenient. And,” he looks at me earnestly, “I hope you can be together with Father.”
I smile lightly as I take the bouquet he hands me, preparing to go inside and arrange it when Brat joyfully exclaims, “Suda sister!”
I turn my head and indeed see Suda approaching with a platter of fruits. This fruit platter is something I taught her not long ago; I didn’t expect her to make it look so beautiful. However, thinking about that little brat’s flattering demeanor and unusually sweet voice just now, I don’t hold back as I slap him lightly on the back of his head: “You call her sister but call me old lady? Do you really think I'm old? And put away that flirtatious look; your Aunt Suda is also your mother—your father’s wife—show some respect.”
I completely forget that it was my idea for the child to call me ‘Mom’ while he starts speaking without thinking.
The little brat covers his injured head with tears welling up in his eyes as he looks at Suda pitifully and cries out, “Aunt Suda, Mom is bullying me… boo hoo…”
“Come on now, don’t be sad. Have some fruit; your mother just had it sent over today—it’s very fresh! I guarantee there are some fruits here that you haven’t even seen at palace banquets.” Suda completely ignores our playful banter as she sets down the freshly cut fruit platter on a stool for herself.
I walked over and unceremoniously grabbed a piece of watermelon, swallowing it down as I looked at her and teased, "So where's that guy? Is he still asleep or has he left?"
Little Shao Shao looked at us in confusion, munching on an apple as she asked, "Who is that guy?"
I remained silent, merely amused as I watched Suda's face turn red.
She lowered her head, as if trying to hide something, and said, "Huan Gongzi woke up a long time ago. I heard he was disappointed and left because you didn't want to see him." She shot me a glance filled with deep resentment that almost sent shivers down my spine. Was this really the same Suda I knew?
At that moment, Sima Shao bit into a piece of watermelon and exclaimed as if he had discovered a new continent, "Mom, you’re actually hiding a man from Father! What kind of wild man is making you betray him?! You’re doomed; if someone finds out, you’re finished!"
I was speechless. I threw a chestnut at the head of the unfiltered brat without hesitation. "When adults are talking, children should keep their mouths shut. Don’t worry; I won’t have a good ending. I definitely won’t forget to blame you for this."
Then I met Suda's slightly gloomy gaze and smiled. "Don’t worry; I won’t like him. He won’t always like me either; he’s just momentarily intrigued by a woman like me. You know how it is; everyone gets bored eventually. He’s only treating me differently because he’s never met anyone as nonsensical and oddly independent as me before. Now that he’s found his true match in you, you two can live happily ever after."
She didn’t say anything more but stared at me for a while before finally laughing and saying, "Firefly, you’ll never know how much your little bit of specialness will make others fall for you." With that, she left me standing there like a fool.
Coming back to my senses, I saw Brat looking at me seriously, circling around and finally concluding, "Mom, I really can’t see any qualities in you that would make you a femme fatale. This is bad; for some reason, I have an ominous feeling. Could it be that I underestimated you?"
I threw the flowers in my hand at that damned brat and shouted, "Your mother is as beautiful as the fish that sink and the flowers that shame the moon! I’m comparable to Xi Shi, Diao Chan, Chen Yuanyuan—well, maybe not Yang Guifei—how dare you say anything about me?! No qualities?! Are your eyes blind or what…"
From a distance came the innocent voice of some brat who had been pricked by the flowers: "Mom, I don’t even know who those people are that you mentioned—"
I stood there with a face full of black lines. I had forgotten about our generational gap.
"I need to leave for a while. I know there's no way to hide this from you, so I'll leave everything here to you. Suda, you're someone I can trust, right?"
She glanced at me lightly and replied, "Don’t you trust your own judgment?"
"I believe, but I lack confidence. Perhaps you can help me. And I hope for your assistance. You know, when I leave, I can't guarantee that no unexpected events will occur. I hope you can act accordingly; maybe this is an opportunity for your cleverness to shine, my dear." I couldn't assure that after my departure, even in this cold and desolate place, certain individuals wouldn't come to visit or cause trouble.
"Don't say such disgusting things. I can't even understand what language you're speaking."
I pretended to be surprised as I looked at her. "Well, well, you've started to show a bit of humor. Suda, for this little surprise, we should celebrate tonight." I called out to Xiao Quanzi, who was outside jumping rope with Little Shao Shao. "Xiao Quanzi, go to the kitchen and get some wine and Carmine (a type of sweet wine), and prepare some snacks. How about we have a big celebration tonight? Xiao Quanzi, happy days are here."
Suda scoffed, "If you want to have an impromptu farewell party, just say so. No need to beat around the bush. You won't miss this place, will you?" Seeing my uncertain expression, she raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you missing people? Us?" She seemed a bit surprised.
I hid my embarrassment; she had seen right through me, and there was no point in hiding it anymore. "Missing people means I'm still a normal person, not a cold-blooded animal. You should be proud to have a passionate friend like me, shouldn't you?" I countered.
Finally, aside from blushing at the mention of Huan Wen's name, her expression shifted to one of silent exasperation—like a sunny day when someone wearing beautiful red high heels is happily shopping but suddenly steps in dog poop just as a handsome guy walks by and sees it happen.
That expression was as foul as the poop itself.
Heh heh, it was rare to see Suda make such a face; I couldn't help but feel amused.
"Hey, regardless of anything else, please take good care of these guys for me. My Baby Son and my precious little eunuch. And of course, you too." I looked at her with trust. "I hope when I return, you'll all be well."
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