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墨書 Inktalez
“Azure Thorn, where are you?!” I shouted frantically, gripping the collars of those around me. “Have you all gone mute? Answer me!”
It was the first time they had seen me so enraged, so out of control, yet none of them flinched. They understood the depth of my pain. Their eyes were filled with tears; they were hurting too.
Finally, I collapsed helplessly to the ground, feeling lost and confused. “My Xuanwu King, how could you just disappear? How could you be gone?”
I clutched my hair in agony, murmuring, “It’s all my fault, all my fault. If I hadn’t been so willful, if I hadn’t… how could he… how could he… it’s all my fault! Why did you save me?! Why?!” I berated myself in despair.
I never imagined he would make such a tremendous sacrifice for me!
My awakening meant his disappearance from this world.
The disappearance of Azure Thorn.
I still remembered the last words he said to me: “Young Master, sometimes I think that if I had never met you, if I hadn’t saved you, then you wouldn’t have chosen to enter the palace for my sake. You wouldn’t have suffered so much. You wouldn’t have been forced to forget everything. Young Master, it’s my fault; it’s all my fault. You’ve done too much for us and sacrificed too much. To protect Jun Jin, to protect Jin Kingdom, to protect everyone you’ve warmed with your kindness, you gave up everything for yourself. Young Master, I won’t let you die; it’s time for Azure Thorn to repay you.” As he spoke those final words, I heard faint, suppressed sobs while drifting into sleep.
I covered my face with my hands in anguish as tears streamed down my fingers amidst the astonished gazes of those around me.
Azure Thorn, Azure Thorn, why were you so foolish? I’m not worth it; I’m not worth it.
Suddenly, a familiar conversation flashed through my mind as if it had happened just yesterday.
“Chen Ningyuan, I need a lot of antidotes, especially for the poisons that women in the palace are skilled at using.” My tone was cheeky.
“What do you need those for?” he asked in confusion.
I snapped impatiently, “What do you think?! Of course it’s to survive.” He seemed to find it amusing.
“Have you been poisoned?” His voice was filled with concern.
I pouted and rolled my eyes. “That’s just an everyday occurrence. I usually expel the poison through my energy cultivation, but if the toxins linger in my body too long, it won’t be good for me either. Your antidote needs to be very effective; otherwise, I might just die before being saved.”
"Don't speak carelessly. I will allocate it to you as soon as possible. Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you." It was a promise.
"I know. Sigh... why is this Cold Palace never peaceful?" She rested her chin on her hand, bored.
"Who told you to be so special?" Chen Ningyuan murmured to himself in his heart.
"What?"
"...Nothing."
That was the last time she called him Chen Ningyuan.
In the palace, women... so familiar yet so strange.
With a sorrowful expression and a numb demeanor, the girl spoke in a cold and indifferent tone, "I am leaving."
Azure Thorn's face was filled with heartache as he said, "Young Master should have left long ago."
The girl let out a cold laugh and suddenly said, "Before I leave, I want you to concoct a type of medicine."
"What kind of medicine?" he asked, surprised.
"One that will cause a person to vanish without a trace after seven days, as if they were dead—no breath, no heartbeat, and no one will suspect anything. After seven days, they will wake up."
"Young Master—could it be...?" Azure Thorn's expression turned strange as he furrowed his brows in speculation.
"Yes. You guessed correctly. What I want is for Coma to leave the palace." The girl's gaze held a hint of despair.
"But what about Young Master's body?"
"I have my ways to get my body out of the palace unscathed. You just need to search for me downstream by the river outside the city," the girl said calmly, as if discussing something unrelated to her.
"Young Master, that's too risky."
"Don't worry. Little Seven and Song Kong know what to do. Just prepare the medicine I need," she instructed lightly.
"Young Master—" Azure Thorn looked at her with a pained expression.
The girl shrugged off his concern, "I've planned everything. My death can ensure the safety of the Xie Family and allow me to leave this place for a broader sky. Azure Thorn, you don't need to feel regret for me; you should be happy for me."
Azure Thorn choked back his emotions, "Azure Thorn is happy for the Young Master, but you don't have to put yourself in such a position. Those people, if you want, could all disappear without a trace without you lifting a finger."
The girl turned her head and replied coolly, "Do you think I don't know their tricks? I just don't want to hold it against them. They are already pitiful enough as the Emperor's women; why should I stoop to their level? Besides, all of this is because of that person. I just want to atone for him as best as I can. So, I don’t want to hold grudges."
"Young Master—" Azure Thorn expressed his worries.
"You all leave ahead of time. I've arranged everything for you. You must all exit the palace. Let me face this alone. I want to settle things with him and quietly leave here. You don’t need to worry," she commanded.
Azure Thorn felt helpless but still replied respectfully, "Understood, Young Master."
A jumble of chaotic memories flashed through my mind. I couldn't see the faces of those people or even know who they were. Their voices echoed in my head, causing an unbearable headache.
I sat on the ground for a long time, speechless.
Only pain coursed through my body as I trembled and choked back tears. I didn't want to make a sound, so I endured the pain in my chest.
Suddenly, Lian stepped forward and respectfully said, "Young Master, when Azure Thorn leaves, let us tell you that he has no regrets."
Little Seven's face was filled with anguish; he had spent the longest time with Azure Thorn.
"Before Young Master woke up, Azure Thorn had already gone to Kunlun Mountain to become a monk with the Divine Monk from the Southern Crossing. He became the only disciple of the Divine Monk, Wu Dao," Little Seven said with difficulty.
His words carved a deep scar into my heart like a knife. Each word cut deeper than the last, leaving an unfathomable wound that would not heal, bleeding endlessly.
The scar in my left chest, pierced by the Holy Staff, burned with an intense heat, causing me pain that nearly bent my body.
It wasn't until I woke up that I realized after being wounded by the Holy Staff, I had bled profusely without any means of healing. Everyone was at a loss, and I continued to bleed, trapped in an endless coma. Eventually, I entered a state of near-death, with only a faint breath keeping me from completely passing away. It was the Heavenly Mountain Snow Lotus held in my mouth that allowed me to cling to that last breath, yet death was still imminent.
One day, Azure Thorn suddenly disappeared for three days. When he returned, he brought with him a shabby-looking monk who was quite unattractive; that monk was the wandering Divine Monk from the Southern Crossing. Azure Thorn had studied medicine since childhood and was a rare talent. A few years ago, he had been valued by the Divine Monk and invited to become his disciple and also to renounce worldly life. However, Azure Thorn had refused. But this time, to save me, he agreed to become the Divine Monk's disciple on the condition that I was safe. He would then dedicate his life to following him as a monk.
He was so foolish for my sake!
To become a monk for life, to live with pure intentions and a clear heart. To forget all past lives and follow the Buddha. To live a life of simplicity and devotion while guarding the Buddha's teachings?
Can every kind of wound truly become nothing but fleeting memories?
Who said that today's attachments would lead to tomorrow's pain?
Azure Thorn, I'm sorry. It was my obsession that harmed you all. I'm sorry, I groaned in agony.
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