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墨書 Inktalez
She seemed to see Gu Ze from a long time ago.
It was several months back when she nervously concealed her feelings and confronted Gu Ze. He stood above her, exuding an overwhelming presence that left her breathless with every word he spoke. He resembled a king atop a high fortress, or a demon returned from hell, possessing a breathtaking charm that was both terrifying and captivating.
Fear and dread.
It had been a long time since she had experienced such feelings in Gu Ze's presence.
She doubted whether this person was truly Gu Ze, yet she was also utterly convinced that it was him, and that she had pushed him to this point.
Things could not continue like this.
As her consciousness faded and her body grew weak, Xu Nuan forcefully freed her left hand from Gu Ze's grasp and struck a nearby stone.
The pain from the blood gushing forth brought Xu Nuan back to her senses, giving her a burst of strength as she desperately pushed against Gu Ze. A short dagger was concealed at her waist, but she couldn't use the same methods against Gu Ze as she had against Zhang Xiao. She owed too much; the weight of her debts had left her heart weary and gasping for breath.
"Ugh."
Xu Nuan tried to make a sound but could not escape Gu Ze's resistance. Feelings of guilt, shame, and indignation surged within her, causing her tears to flow once more. As the icy liquid slid down her cheeks, she felt discomfort throughout her body until she sensed Gu Ze pause, slowly releasing his hold on her lips.
Yet she did not make an effort to breathe; instead, she gazed into Gu Ze's eyes through a haze of mist.
His deep brown eyes transformed into a dark abyss, and under the sunlight, that abyss began to churn violently. Gu Ze's expression remained impassive, but Xu Nuan saw the predatory glint in his gaze. They were so close that she could hear his rapid heartbeat; one of his hands still restrained hers, his fingertips cool against her skin.
This man, who should have been as gentle as sunlight, felt cold inside.
It was her fault.
But that was not the reason things had come to this point.
Xu Nuan struggled in the deep pool for just a few seconds before she began to fight her way up. She wanted to sit up, but once again, she found herself isolated and helpless. She couldn't call for help; she couldn't let Xu Hang and the others see this scene. If she did, either she or Gu Ze would inevitably leave the team.
She felt lonely. Even when Gu Ze was unwilling to support her, she was stumbling forward on this path alone, yet she had to remain persistent and resolute. This was her reason for surviving in this game. In her twenty-six years of life, there had been one person who occupied too large a space in her heart, leaving behind too many memories, becoming the very essence of her will to live.
She guessed that Gu Ze knew this, which was why he kept repeating it to her.
"I won't give in."
Before Xu Nuan could sit up, her struggles caught Gu Ze's attention again. This time, he leaned down completely. She felt a cool sensation at her neck, followed by a sharp pain.
The tingling sensation that ran down her spine intensified as his grip tightened. In those few seconds of daze, her clothes loosened, and the mountain wind swept in, making her feel cold—colder than her heart.
"No, Gu Ze, you can't do this!"
Xu Nuan finally lost control. She tried to push Gu Ze away with both hands; the blood from her left palm smeared across his clothes, but it was futile. In that moment, she once again experienced the disparity between herself and a man. The fear she had once felt with Zhang Xiao resurfaced here with someone who had been her companion through thick and thin. This realization shattered her.
"Gu Ze, don't make me hate you!"
She realized that nothing was going as she wished anymore. Foolishly entering the game led her to uncover a conspiracy; after separating from the second batch of companions and finally integrating into a new team, she found herself constantly in debt—emotional debt was the most terrifying of all.
"I want you to hate me; at least then your attention will be on me."
In her moment of despair, Xu Nuan clearly heard Gu Ze's words. She wanted to respond; it was the wrong decision. If he truly loved her, he would let her go and allow her to walk this path alone instead of hurting her in the name of love.
She didn't want to be hurt; she also didn't want to hurt anyone.
She was merely a pitiful creature wanting to return to the past, a wretched soul wishing to live in fantasy.
And this man before her wanted to pull her out of that fantasy in the most painful way possible.
"Gu Ze, calm down and listen to me."
Xu Nuan no longer knew how to stop Gu Ze from descending into darkness. Her hands were once again bound, a mix of coldness and heat coursing through her body, her consciousness beginning to fade, her eyes losing their focus.
Perhaps her journey in this game would come to an end here.
Xu Nuan gave up struggling, not out of submission, but with a sense of finality.
She chose the path of thorns, willing to endure the pain even if it left her battered. Though the road ahead was shrouded in thick fog, she had wandered aimlessly before, faced it with calmness, yet ultimately she had also experienced the moment when the mist cleared.
There were many words left unspoken; how grateful she was to have met Gu Ze and the others, giving her a sense of belonging in a world where she felt adrift.
At first, all she wanted was a home, but she failed. Initially, she longed to be part of a united and loving team, yet that too ended in failure.
Just when she thought she was no longer a failure, she found herself facing an ending once more.
So when she looked back at it all, she realized that from beginning to end, she had been a failure.
As Xu Nuan lay there like a discarded doll on the grass, having stopped her struggle, she noticed that Gu Ze above her also paused. He slowly lifted his head to look at her.
The long gaze they shared was filled with the weight of time spent together.
Laughter and anger, joy and sorrow—those moments from the past were not entirely filled with pain.
Could this man feel such emotions?
Could he sense her suffering and contradictions?
And conversely, had she ever truly considered this man's feelings?
From the initial conversations among alumni to the subsequent care they showed for each other, and after several life-saving moments, the two developed a deep bond and formed an Alliance.
During these days, had this man ever concealed his feelings?
It was merely self-deception.
"Gu Ze."
Xu Nuan looked up at the man, enunciating each word.
"Are we still companions?"
The coolness of the grass, the chill of the mountain breeze, and the coldness in this man's gaze made her feel as if she were trapped in an ice cellar under the warm sunlight.
The return of Xu Nuan and Gu Ze startled the others.
In fact, both were dressed quite neatly; however, Xu Nuan's face was pale, her eyes red, and her left hand was stained with blood, as if she had just fought a wild beast.
Gu Ze, on the other hand, was covered in blood on the outside of his clothes—Xu Nuan's blood. His complexion was also pale, but it bore more shadows of gloom and terror.
Deng Yinyin immediately retracted the question she almost blurted out; she didn't even dare to meet Gu Ze's gaze now.
Xie Huai's reaction was similar to Deng Yinyin's. Even though he had been trying hard to assert his presence lately, he couldn't suppress his primal fear.
Xu Hang seemed to have guessed something. His gaze toward Gu Ze held a hint of reproach, but when it fell on the calm Xu Nuan, it turned into helplessness and regret.
At this moment, the sun had already moved westward; in less than an hour, it would set. They had no time to linger here any longer. The group hurriedly ascended the iron cable bridge against the mountain wind.
Walking on the swaying iron rope, with hands gripping the trembling cables, the few people in the passage moved unsteadily. A single misstep could send them plummeting into the abyss below. Thus, they remained silent, focusing their attention on maintaining balance, occasionally glancing at each other's movements to prevent any accidents and to lend a helping hand if necessary.
As Xu Nuan tightened her grip on the iron rope, a piercing pain shot from her palms to her brain, which then distributed the sensation to her other senses. Yet, she did not furrow her brow; instead, she calmly exchanged her hands on the rope and shifted her body accordingly.
She thought to herself that Xu Hang was indeed a competent leader. He had deliberately separated her from Gu Ze as they traversed the iron rope passage. They both needed to remain calm, and it was best not to have any contact or communication at that moment.
The swaying iron rope passage was neither long nor short. The surroundings were dimming as dusk approached, and the evening breeze eagerly brushed against their faces.
Xu Nuan felt a chill enveloping her. Perhaps it was due to having spent too long on the cold grass earlier and now being exposed to the wind for too long; if this continued, she would inevitably fall ill.
She did not wish to get sick. When a person falls ill, they become vulnerable and start to overthink. During the initial period when her hand was injured, she had been consumed by thoughts of her permanent injury, losing herself in a world of imagination, which ultimately led to some unfortunate events.
Catching a cold was even more terrifying than an injury; it would cloud her mind and distort her perception of her surroundings. She would rather endure pain than risk losing clarity of thought.
While contemplating these matters, Xu Nuan did not forget to worry about the iron rope beneath her feet.
At first, Xu Hang had advised them not to look down while crossing the passage. The more one focused on their height above ground, the harder it became to take a step forward.
Xu Nuan agreed with this advice but also realized that being aware of their altitude and understanding their proximity to death made her more vigilant and cautious.
Indeed, every principle varies from person to person.
After mulling over a myriad of thoughts, Xu Nuan successfully followed the group across the iron rope passage and arrived at another Cliff.
Once they left the iron rope behind and began searching for the night’s Campsite and Special Tree within the Cliff, Deng Yinyin, now completely relaxed, remarked, “I hope we don’t run into those people. It would be truly unfortunate to have to walk with them.”
Xu Nuan remained silent, dear companions, some words are better left unspoken, for once said, they become incredibly real.
However, Rao Tingxue and the others only focused on Xu Nuan. She showed no signs of discontent, and the others respected her wish to leave it at that. Whether they would encounter those three powerful individuals in this Cliff was all left to fate.
Night quickly enveloped the Cliff, and the group decided to camp here instead of searching for the Special Tree any longer.
This Cliff was at a higher altitude, with a greater variety of plants. They found themselves in the Broadleaf Forest region, surrounded by Birch trees, with occasional sightings of Spruce.
In the low bushes, there were Roses and Willows, and now and then they spotted Ground Elder and Mugwort. While gathering firewood, Xu Nuan even found some Aconite.
As night fell, they gathered around the campfire to warm themselves, occasionally exchanging a few words and discussing topics unrelated to the game to ease their heightened nerves.
Xu Nuan held a cup of hot water, staring blankly at the crackling firewood, realizing that some things truly could never return to how they once were.
Across the fire from her, Gu Ze was chatting with the others about amusing stories from Heng Technology, making Deng Yinyin laugh heartily. Xie Huai and Xu Hang seemed to reminisce about their time at the company, each expressing their sentiments.
As someone who had long since left the group and had never been to Heng Technology, she felt completely out of place.
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