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墨書 Inktalez
No one could sleep on this night, as the storm loomed over the swamp.
Chi Xiaoming was in good physical condition, and Feng Feng's strike had clearly been rushed, missing its target. This left Chi Xiaoming feeling weak, but after some timely treatment, his complexion improved significantly, and he was now resting nearby.
He was the only one among them with his eyes closed, yet he wasn't asleep; he fought against his fatigue to stay awake. Being ambushed was not a new experience for him. Previously, Yu Yu had also plotted against him. He emerged unscathed and felt no obligation to inform the others about it. This time was merely a repeat of history; despite having gained some recognition, Feng Feng dared to betray him at that critical moment, and the reason was simply that.
Thinking of this, Chi Xiaoming revealed a bitter smile with his eyes still shut. He had collaborated with Gu Ze, admiring Gu Ze's abilities while also believing that Gu Ze placed too much importance on personal feelings. Consequently, he had cooperated with Feng Feng without warning Gu Ze. In the end, Feng Feng failed to harm Gu Ze but managed to injure him instead. Trading with others in the game was inherently risky, much like doing business in the outside world.
While remaining vigilant, he naturally overheard the conversations of others.
He had clearly heard Gu Ze's earlier words and sighed inwardly at Feng Feng's clever scheme while feeling helpless. Gu Ze revealing everything at this moment would only excite Xu Hang and the others, forgetting that there were still some lurking in the shadows. However, those who were initially eyeing Xu Nuan now had one more target to consider.
He recalled Feng Feng's earnest expression when claiming that Xu Nuan had told Gu Ze everything. The sudden pain in his heart made it hard for him to breathe. Xu Nuan believed she loved Gu Ze and thus shared this information; now she would be slapped in the face by her own actions. What kind of expression would that resilient woman have now?
When a person is in a weakened state, they unconsciously lower their defenses; all their armor becomes as fragile as paper. Chi Xiaoming found himself trapped in such a state, unable to escape.
A short distance away were Xu Hang and a few others discussing the secret passage during this sleepless night. People can be hypocritical; as they drew closer to the Forest of Hatred, they intensified their probing questions towards Xu Nuan in hopes of getting answers, but ultimately found nothing.
At this moment, excitement descended upon them. No one cared about the conflict between Gu Ze and Xu Nuan during this dangerous time; instead, they were thrilled about the secret passage. With this newfound knowledge, they wouldn't have to face thirty Survival Games again—how could they not be pleased? Riding on this wave of joy, they even included Fang Zheng, the man with a gloomy expression, in their discussion.
Meanwhile, further away, Gu Ze and Xu Nuan were each brewing their own emotions. There was so much on their minds—too much to say—leaving them feeling stifled.
Compared to Gu Ze's feelings of betrayal, Xu Nuan quickly sorted through the origins of the matter. No matter how bitter her heart felt, she swiftly clarified things for herself.
"I wasn't reckless. Even with regular injections of medication, all I get is temporary relief; it might even have adverse effects at critical moments. Conversely, even if that medication can't completely eliminate the toxins, it will be enough to sustain me until I leave the game. I can receive treatment afterward."
Gu Ze's expression was still difficult to read. He rarely treated Xu Nuan this way, which left her feeling confused and deepened the bitterness in her heart. Even during her episodes, she had already thought of an escape route, but it was because she wanted to stand by Gu Ze's side. Yet Gu Ze, in his self-righteousness, did everything for her while hiding things, always making her guess.
"Do you really want to leave the game?"
There was a hint of pain in Gu Ze's voice, and his words made Xu Nuan widen her eyes in disbelief, mixed with a touch of embarrassment.
"You drank the antidote so readily; weren't you planning to become stronger during this time to deal with Zhang Xiao and the others? As for what happens outside the game, does that not matter to you?"
Xu Nuan felt exposed, as if her past self had been seen through. Every choice she had made had led her into a dead end; this was an undeniable fact. But that was in the past. When she chose to drink the antidote last time, she genuinely wanted to stay by Gu Ze's side without being a burden.
"No," Xu Nuan tried to explain but struggled to find the right words. "I want to leave the game too. I..."
She attempted to say more, but upon seeing the disbelief in Gu Ze's eyes, she fell silent again. Indeed, mere explanations were useless; without substantial evidence, her words would not hold weight. Reflecting on her past actions, each one seemed aimed at pushing herself out of the game. It was no wonder Gu Ze didn't believe her; she felt guilty and sad.
Xu Nuan's silence made the atmosphere between them increasingly awkward. She lowered her head, avoiding Gu Ze's fiery gaze and missing the pain hidden within it.
She felt wronged and believed Gu Ze was wronged too; mainly because the boundaries between their past and present were too blurred to distinguish clearly. Just moments ago, under Gu Ze's intense gaze, she felt guilty and even thought that accepting Feng Feng's antidote was meant to restore herself to a better state so she could confront those people, rather than leaving the game with Gu Ze.
Xu Nuan could no longer recall how she truly felt back then; she felt powerless and unable to stop it.
"Feng Feng is not trustworthy. Although I've collaborated with him and he has been helping from the shadows, he is an uncontrollable person."
After a moment of silence, it was Gu Ze who spoke first. His voice was so ethereal that Xu Nuan couldn't grasp the emotions contained within it and could only let herself be swept away by them.
She understood the hidden meaning in Gu Ze's words; he was accusing her of losing her composure and accepting the medication offered by Feng Feng without considering the bigger picture. If Feng Feng wanted to harm her, it would have been easy enough to poison the drugs.
She wasn't foolish; she had checked at the time. Although her examination wasn't thorough, it indicated that she had considered this possibility, something Gu Ze was unaware of.
"I took the medicine because he is your partner."
Xu Nuan felt even more wronged. This pretentious emotion caused her to lose control. She found it difficult to accept the confrontation with Gu Ze, and every word he spoke felt like an accusation. The feeling of being denied was unpleasant.
"I made that choice because Chi Xiaoming is your partner."
Undeniably, her words were selfish, a rebuttal to Gu Ze's accusations. She made that choice because she trusted Gu Ze and his judgment. Even if she had her own thoughts at the time, this layer of reasoning couldn't be dismissed.
Now, she magnified this reason to a hundred percent, relishing in Gu Ze's embarrassment.
They were both caught in a mutual struggle; how did such a situation arise between them?
Xu Nuan was in pain but stubbornly held her head high to look at Gu Ze.
"I didn't fully trust either of them," Gu Ze's face showed a flicker of distress, and though he was somewhat shaken inside, he felt compelled to explain—a statement that should not have been made at that moment. "The reason I didn't mention these matters to you was to warn you that they are not completely Alliance members."
"Hmph."
Xu Nuan let out a light laugh, but her voice suddenly turned sharp. It was a sound she would never normally make, yet the pent-up emotions erupted at that moment, and she no longer cared.
"You never tell me anything. You make me guess, make me analyze. How can I always guess right?"
Xu Nuan was startled by her own voice. It was only at that moment that she realized how much she cared about Gu Ze's secrets. She believed she understood and trusted Gu Ze, thinking that her faith would allow her to turn a blind eye to many things. But she forgot that she was also someone who had walked through storms and rain; she had her own perceptions and judgments, her unique views. When Gu Ze kept everything to himself, she would still try to judge the situation, which contradicted her trust in him, leading to a buildup of conflict. At this moment of explosion, she felt exhausted—not just from the game but from the emotional toll between them.
Her initial thought was simple: find Qin Yaojie for a response. Later, her goal became to uncover the murderer of her parents, and after that, she planned to leave the game with Gu Ze. Leave? It was easier said than done. Moreover, until she found the killer and identified the Mastermind, she wouldn’t feel at ease leaving, which made their relationship feel burdensome.
She was tired, which is why she didn’t have time to discuss love with Gu Ze while stumbling forward. Indeed, Gu Ze's plans had helped them along the way, but if it led to emotional exhaustion, such help was better off not being offered. Love shouldn’t be measured by such assistance.
In that instant, Xu Nuan's eyes dimmed. A wave of immense unease surged within Gu Ze; he felt an urgent need to explain.
"It’s not that I don’t want to be with you; I just don’t want you to think too much."
"I’m not fragile; I don’t need 100% protection."
Xu Nuan's fatigue was evident. During this time of being protected, she didn’t have to take action; she only needed to wait for Gu Ze to present the results before her. But did that mean she wasn’t tired?
Habits run deep; she still found herself thinking and even doubting Gu Ze's secrecy. She worried about his injuries and considered herself a useless person who only dragged him down. During this period, her mental state suffered more than ever before.
Neither she nor Gu Ze had grasped the balance in their relationship. If Gu Ze only protected her while she lacked the ability to reciprocate, she would be the first to give up because of her perceived uselessness. Gu Ze's protection created an overwhelming sense of pressure for her.
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