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墨書 Inktalez
The feeling of being wronged is truly unbearable; I have never done any of these things.
But as the police officer spoke, the murmurs of the crowd began to rise. Words like "beast in human clothing," "you can know a person’s face but not their heart," and "corrupt police" floated into my ears. It made my head throb unbearably, spinning in circles, and for a moment, I even started to believe that I really was a murderer.
I desperately tugged at my hair, pulling so hard that my scalp felt numb. This habit was something I had never mentioned to anyone, nor did I have a reason for it. In truth, I did this to substitute the pain on my skin for the pain in my head. Whenever I felt a headache coming on, this was how I coped.
But now, it seemed ineffective.
Could it be that during my episodes, I had committed all these acts? Just like a murderer with multiple personalities, could there be another Wu Meng within me? I resisted the thought of self-blame and couldn’t face it. Was it possible that I had selectively forgotten what I had done during those episodes?
Am I guilty? Did I kill someone?
“Silence, silence.” The judge rapped the gavel, and gradually the surroundings quieted down.
“Prosecutor, please continue.”
The witness stepped down, and the Prosecutor continued, “Even if you claim it was to save someone, we can also interpret it as your special circumstances triggering your self-blame delusion. When suspicion and anxiety arise, isn’t the best way to alleviate those feelings to kill the person causing your anxiety?”
“Yes!” I replied, but in an instant, I realized the problem and quickly added, “No! In that environment, it’s also a way to make the murderer speak. The issue lies in whether the murderer provided an address or not; what followed next was my action, wasn’t it?”
The Prosecutor said, “That is true; however, if the murderer chose to remain silent, would you not kill him?”
I responded, “I cannot let Guan Zengbin come to harm; she is my team member, do you understand?”
“Answer my question!” the Prosecutor insisted. “If he does not speak, will you kill him?”
“We are like family; do you understand?” I shouted.
“Will you kill him?” The Prosecutor's firm voice rang out again.
“I will…”
Before I could finish saying "kill," my lawyer who had been silent beside me spoke up: “I protest; the Prosecutor has no right to assume unproven scenarios to manipulate my client’s emotions. Court is about evidence, not assumptions.”
“Objection sustained; Prosecutor, please cease your questioning,” the judge nodded.
"Well, from this threatening statement, we can infer that the suspect, Wu Meng, may indeed act out in extreme ways under certain circumstances," the Prosecutor said, looking at his documents. "I have a key witness who can testify that the suspect has exhibited such extreme behavior."
"Bring them in," the Forensic expert replied.
I furrowed my brow, unsure of what witness could possibly prove my supposed extreme actions. But when I heard that familiar yet strange name, I could hardly believe my ears. As this person walked up from the audience, I was certain my ears had not deceived me and that my eyes were not mistaken.
The one stepping up to the witness stand was Liu.
I opened my mouth, wanting to say something but finding myself at a loss for words. I felt a tremor run through me; I could not fathom why Liu would take the witness stand. Yet he was indeed the key witness mentioned by the Prosecutor.
Liu had seen everything down there.
"What did you see?" the Prosecutor asked. "You may begin now."
Liu looked at me, his face devoid of expression, but his eyes seemed to hold countless unspoken words. He gently touched the railing in front of him and glanced around. The courtroom was eerily silent; everyone held their breath, waiting for Liu's crucial testimony. Time seemed to freeze, creating a suffocating atmosphere.
Clearing his throat, Liu lowered his head and did not look at me. "During the process of capturing the Murderer, at the moment when the Murderer had already surrendered and laid down his weapon, I saw the suspect holding a Sharp Fragment and stabbing it towards the Murderer's neck. If I hadn't intervened in time, the Murderer would have been dead by now."
Silence enveloped the room; one could hear a pin drop.
"Is the witness reliable?" the judge inquired.
I looked at Liu, but he did not meet my gaze and continued to keep his head down. I couldn't discern what Liu was feeling at that moment or what emotions he harbored towards me. All I felt was a sense of betrayal, as if I were trapped in a cold ice cellar, chilling my heart to the core.
"You want me dead!" I glared at Liu; my voice was low but clear enough for him to hear.
Liu raised his head, tears glistening in his eyes. "Want you dead? If I hadn't come forward, that would be wanting you dead! Wu Meng, I've been observing you for a long time; your Self-Blame Delusion has become severe. You need treatment in a psychiatric hospital; otherwise, I'm genuinely afraid you'll die out there! You either kill someone or get killed by someone else. Compared to that, I'd rather it be the former!"
Tears streamed down Liu's face, and I had no idea why.
I spoke up again: "You want me dead! Don’t you realize Guan Zengbin is still missing? I've been following this case; if someone else takes over, everything will have to start from scratch. Who will find Guan Zengbin then? You don’t just want me dead; you want all of us dead!"
"I'll check!" Liu shouted. "I've been following this case too; I know all the clues you do. I will rescue Guan Zengbin."
A stir arose around us, and people began to discuss the absurd scene unfolding in the courtroom.
All the mature individuals understood that there was no such thing as empathy in this world. You may cry without tears, scream in despair, or silently shed tears. Some remain silent, some watch the drama unfold, and some offer comfort. In the end, it comes down to a simple remark: look how interesting this person is.
Ultimately, the needle does not prick those who are merely spectators.
"Silence!" The judge's gavel struck like a machine gun. "Silence."
I grew increasingly agitated. "From the moment you left Captain Shao, I knew you valued your position more than people, but I never expected you would stoop to this level. We have all left; no one is competing with you for that position anymore, right? Do you think I care about your pathetic position? What are you investigating for?"
Liu pointed a finger at me and took a moment before saying, "Wu Meng! Wu Meng! I knew it; you have always looked down on me. I know I don't measure up to you. I know I can only follow the rules and take things step by step. But have I ever stopped for even a moment? Have I ever taken a break? If my talent isn't enough, then I'll make up for it with hard work. Is that wrong?"
I watched Liu tremble with emotion; he was incredibly agitated, and I could see the veins bulging on his hands.
"Wu Meng," Liu said, pointing a finger at me. "Is there something wrong with that? Tell me, is there something wrong with that? Relying on my own efforts to gradually achieve what I want—what's wrong with that? But I never thought you would see me this way. Am I just someone who would sell a life for that damn position in your eyes?"
I wanted to argue back, but when the words reached my lips, nothing came out.
Indeed, was Liu wrong? Wanting to improve his life through hard work—was that wrong? Liu never stopped me from investigating; he simply wanted to achieve his goals in his own way without stealing or cheating. Liu was undoubtedly one of the most hardworking individuals I've ever seen, but as we climbed higher, we realized that effort alone isn't enough in this world.
Hard work might help you succeed eighty percent of the time, but that remaining twenty percent is incredibly difficult. Liu had already achieved a lot by becoming a captain in the Police Force at such a young age. Yet, he was not satisfied.
But that wasn't wrong.
"You all look down on me; none of you respect me!" Liu continued shouting. "I considered you true friends, but you've never regarded me as one of your own! Get lost! I don't need friends; just leave! From now on, we have no relationship!"
I felt a lump in my throat and wanted to cry, but no tears came.
"Recess! Recess!" the judge called out. "Take them away."
As he spoke, several officers escorted me out while Liu stormed off in anger across from me. A year ago, when I joined the Special Operations Group, I never imagined it would come to this. A year ago, I never thought we would be parting ways so soon again.
Captain Shao, because of my situation, I estimate I will have to face the consequences. Mary, at this moment, is likely unaware of what is happening. It has become impossible for me to rely on anyone else for help. From now on, I can only depend on myself.
I silently made a decision in my heart, though I was unsure whether it was right or wrong. I had no idea how much this decision would affect everything.
I found myself locked in an interrogation room when my lawyer walked in.
We sat down across from each other, and he spoke first. "Wu Meng, Mao Boss sent me."
"Sister Mao?" I asked.
He nodded and continued, "That's right. A person named Gu Chen contacted Mao Boss. Mao Boss has done quite a bit for you, but it’s all in vain, do you understand? As a police officer, you know the severity of this situation. Killing a police officer warrants execution."
I had no words.
He pressed on, "You know how things work when it comes to arrests; evidence is key. Witnesses and evidence are already present. Your time of crime, motive, and method are all solid proof! I don’t know how you got into this mess, but public opinion is starting to spiral out of control. So I advise you to just admit to everything."
"But I didn’t do any of that," I stared into his eyes.
"But everyone believes you did!" he insisted. "If you want me to get you released without charges, that's impossible. But I can help you keep your life! If you confess, the worst you'll face is life imprisonment. With some arrangements, you could be out in less than ten years. You're only twenty; there’s still a long road ahead."
I shook my head and said firmly, "While I'm still clear-headed, let me tell you unequivocally: I didn’t do it. I don’t know when my mental health issues will resurface; time is running out. The court will reconvene this afternoon, and I need you to..."
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