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Evil Spirits Always Target Me
墨書 Inktalez
I have a dream, oh no, three dreams.
First: to taste all the delicious foods in the world.
Second: to sleep with all the handsome men in the world.
Third: to eat delicious food while sleeping next to a handsome man.
Today, because my senior treated us, and since he wasn't handsome, I finished all the barbecue ordered for four people while they were busy chatting, along with a serving of fried rice.
This directly led to me tormenting the bathroom five hundred times that night.
Although my grades are probably the lowest in class, my character is top-notch. To avoid disturbing my adorable roommates while they slept, I used my flashlight without turning on the lights during my intimate encounters with the bathroom.
This led to a protest from my flashlight—it elegantly fell into the neighboring stall!
And it did so without a sound!
This meant that it had most likely fallen into something unpleasant.
Oh my heavens, that flashlight cost me a penny!
I quickly pulled up my pants to rescue my beloved item, but as I ran to the second stall, I fumbled and my pants, which weren't fully secured, elegantly slipped down to my ankles, exposing my smooth white legs.
Fortunately, my underwear had an elastic band, so I managed to save my dignity.
But why was I trembling? Because my flashlight hadn’t fallen into anything unpleasant; instead, it was being played with by a little boy who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
His face was whiter than the walls of our dormitory, his pupils darker than my 2B pencil. The most striking thing was that his big eyes were almost 99% pupil—there was hardly any white visible!
The boy squatted in the corner of the second stall and grinned at me, saying, "Mommy, I can see your little panties."
I was so startled that I nearly cried and wet myself.
"Mommy, are you cold? Your legs are shaking really hard!"
How could I not shake? In the middle of the night, a ghostly little child suddenly appears, looking so eerie, and calls me Mommy? This would scare the life out of anyone even in broad daylight! Let alone now, when everything is pitch black!
I had just turned eighteen less than two months ago, and this kid looked at least four years old. Adding the ten months of pregnancy, that’s nearly five years. Five years ago, I hadn't even started my period! Even if the perfect sperm in the world were given to me, I still couldn't get pregnant!
Maybe seeing me silent, the child suddenly stood up with a smile and prepared to walk towards me. "Mommy, I'm here to help you put on your pants."
He stretched out his little hand, which was as pale as chicken feet, with long nails that seemed ready to dig into my flesh at any moment.
"Don't come over here!" I shouted.
Life and innocence clearly mattered more than fear; I instantly forgot my terror and quickly pulled up my pants.
I absolutely couldn't give him any reason or opportunity to get close to me!
The child looked at me and giggled, his laughter echoing in the narrow bathroom, sounding quite creepy. My scalp felt like it was covered in a layer of peppercorns.
I took a step back, ready to bolt at any moment. If worse came to worst, I would lock him in the bathroom. No matter what he was, once my roommates woke up, we would catch him alive!
But this child was particularly obedient; when I told him not to come over, he really stood there without moving.
Sweat dampened my bangs as I pretended not to be afraid, but I accidentally tripped over my own tongue.
"Who... who are you? Why do you call me Mommy? What are your parents' names? How did you get into our dorm?"
He answered matter-of-factly, "Mommy, I'm your baby! Of course I have to call you Mommy! My mommy's name is Youmai Vegetable, and Daddy's name is Su Anrong..."
"Garlic Paste!?"
How could there be a name worse than my mom's? I had almost considered suicide because "Youmai Vegetable" was such an awful name. Now discovering there was someone named Garlic Paste made me feel like the world was actually quite wonderful! Suicide was just too lame!
The child explained seriously, "Daddy said he was afraid you would be too lonely as a Youmai Vegetable, so he renamed you Su Anrong. You two together are Garlic Paste and Butterhead Lettuce."
So it was Su Anrong, but if you said it quickly, it sounded just like Garlic Paste. What kind of family raises such goofballs? Did he really change my name for me? Is he missing some calcium in his brain?
"Then what’s your name? It wouldn’t be Stir-Fry Pan, would it? Then we’d really be a family," I said, trying to divert his attention while stepping back. I was just two steps away from the door.
"My name is Rice, but if Mommy likes Stir-Fry Pan, I can change my name to that."
Rice! Oh heavens! I felt like I was going to spit blood!
"No need for that. You can't just change your name like that. Also, since your daddy's last name is Su, why don’t you take his surname?" I was now just one step away.
"Daddy said we don’t have to follow human rules; we just need to be happy. I think Rice is great! It’s delicious, and when combined with Daddy and Mommy, we can make a whole meal!"
Not following human rules? Could they really be ghosts?
Zero steps!
I jumped out of the bathroom and quickly shut the door. "Siyuan! Lele! Xiaonan! Wake up! Turn on the lights, there’s someone in the bathroom!" I shouted while holding the bathroom door tightly.
"Is there a thief?" Gao Lele sprang up like a carp, got out of bed, turned on the light, and grabbed a broom. Her movements were swift and decisive.
Chen Siyuan also jumped down from his bed and came to the door. Fang Xiaonan was nervously huddled at the foot of her bed, watching us closely.
Gao Lele raised the broom and nodded at me, signaling me to open the door.
Before I could even loosen my grip, she yelled and smashed the broom against the door.
"Bang!" Gao Lele hit her head against the door with such force that stars danced before her eyes.
"Youmai Vegetable! Why aren’t you opening the door?" she shouted in exasperation.
"There's a child inside," I whispered. Although he was probably, most likely, definitely a ghost, he was still a child, and I felt a bit reluctant to act harshly!
"What the hell? You gave birth in the bathroom?" Chen Siyuan stared at me wide-eyed.
"You’re the one who gave birth! I meant that there’s no thief inside, just a child, so let’s be gentle, gentle!"
After our careful discussion, the four of us, filled with maternal instincts, decided to use love to reach this child. If he was human, we would take him to the police station; if he was a ghost, we would burn some Joss Paper to send him on his way.
However, when we opened the bathroom door, we found it empty—nothing at all! My flashlight was rolling around on the floor, its light flickering against the white walls.
After interrupting their sweet dreams, my roommates gave me a good beating before returning to their slumber, leaving me alone with my flashlight worth a mere penny, feeling dejected.
Was I really going crazy wanting to be a mother at such a young age?
From then on, I developed a good habit of never going to the bathroom after lights out. If I had to go, I would hold it in and stubbornly wait until the next morning.
But for some reason, over the next few days, I felt like my bed was getting narrower; every night it felt cramped.
In my dreams, someone was trying to snatch a drumstick from me. I dodged with all my might...
"Thud!" I fell spectacularly onto the floor.
Yet, I didn’t feel any pain as if someone were supporting me. I focused and counted—one hand, two hands, three hands, four hands!
Four hands were holding me up—two big and two small!
I scrambled up from the floor. In the dim moonlight, I indeed saw four pale hands neatly lined up beside my bed. One of the larger hands even wore a ring on its ring finger. All four hands seemed to move towards me as if they had eyes.
"Ah—" If I didn’t scream then, I would have truly been scared silly.
I quickly turned on the light. My roommates were already awake due to my commotion but saw nothing unusual either.
So, I was beaten up again.
Am I really getting old at such a young age?
After downing two large glasses of water to calm myself, I returned to bed, and soon sleepiness washed over me.
In the darkness, I felt something moving under the covers, nudging its way up from my legs to my stomach, then to my chest, before finally emerging from the blanket.
I felt a cool breeze on my face, as if someone was blowing cold air at me.
I opened my eyes to see a pair of eyes darker than a 2B pencil and a face as pale as the wall.
He opened his mouth, revealing bright white teeth as he smiled at me. "Mommy, your bed is too small."
"Ah—" I screamed again.
Before long, I was beaten up once more.
After enduring this time and time again, I realized that besides me, no one else could see this ghost.
"Please, just leave me alone," I said. At the same time, I understood that this ghost meant me no harm; after all, seeing him so often had made it less shocking.
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