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墨書 Inktalez
"Damn it, he got away again."
Molin cursed, clearly frustrated. The sky had returned to its normal state, and while I was fine in the small cabin, Chitaki and Molin were not so lucky, their hair tousled by the wind.
"Well, as long as we injured him, that's what matters. It gives us some time," Chitaki said as she walked over to him, playfully messing up his already disheveled hair. She laughed lightly and draped herself over him. "We need to move quickly and prepare for tomorrow's big battle."
"I won't let him off tomorrow," Molin declared, raising his fist. "He made Anxin worry for no reason and left her hurt. It's infuriating."
I felt a stir in my heart; I hadn't expected that the first person to care about me at this moment would be Molin. I crouched on the ground, watching the tall figure outside the window. He had his back to me and didn't turn around. Slowly, I got up from the floor.
" Molin, thank you, but I'm fine."
"That's good to hear. Shishu and I will go check on the villagers. You should rest," he replied.
Molin scratched his head and pulled Chitaki along with him as they left. Chitaki glanced back at me before she went out, but I averted my gaze.
I looked around the small cabin, which was in disarray, and bent down to pick up my grandfather's knife. Before I could find its sheath, a hand grasped my wrist, and a deep voice filled with concern spoke up.
"Anxin."
"I'm fine." I forced myself to look down, suppressing the sting in my eyes. "This knife belongs to my grandfather; I need to keep it safe. Plus, I'm all dirty; I should go wash up first before looking for Grandpa."
"Anxin."
"You must have other things to take care of. I can manage on my own; you should go! Catching Zombie is the priority; we can't let any more innocent people get hurt."
I interrupted him each time he tried to speak, lacking the courage to face the truths that would come from his lips. I turned away quickly, my vision already blurring.
“Anxin, I—”
I paused, waiting for his explanation. Seconds ticked by, yet his voice never came.
A wave of helpless sorrow washed over me. I took a deep breath and quickly ran outside, returning to the main house. The moment I locked the door, tears filled my eyes. I leaned against the door and crouched down, biting my lip as I cried silently.
When Chitaki spoke those words, an uncomfortable feeling settled in my heart, and Molin ’s words only intensified it. The Zombie was right; my heart was indeed not as beautiful as I pretended.
Because I didn’t realize that from the moment I entered the village, it was a trap they had set. If it were just that, I wouldn’t have felt much. What I couldn’t accept was that after giving him time to explain, he ultimately said nothing at all.
“Maybe this is my fate!”
My heart always endured pain; sometimes it hurt so much that breathing was difficult, yet I had to grit my teeth and bear the past. At times, the pain felt like death itself, but I still had to hold on to life, simply because of him.
Someone who had transformed from a figure of fear into someone I could never let go of.
I thought I would never love someone so deeply, never endure the heartbreak for that love. But once it happened, I could never release it, even if it meant being battered and bruised.
Wiping away my tears, I realized that no matter how unwilling I was, there was no going back to how things were before.
I stood up and went upstairs to take a shower. The wound on my arm had begun to heal and was starting to scab over.
I took off my clothes and turned my back to the mirror. The injury that had once been so severe was now half healed. Remembering what Granny Mi had said, perhaps it was the power of the Demon Fetus. Because it was sealed, the healing process wasn’t as rapid as before.
Looking into the mirror, I forced a bitter smile and placed a hand on my belly. “You may look like a monster, but baby, thank you for working so hard to protect me. Don’t worry; from now on, I will learn to be strong and protect you.”
I found it strange; ever since encountering that mysterious person, the baby hadn’t reacted at all. Yet I felt it was still alive.
I turned on the hot water and took a shower, washing away the dirt on my body and the tears from my eyes. Then, as if nothing had happened, I patted my cheeks and said to myself, "Gu Anxin, keep going. No matter how difficult it is, there will be a day when you get through it. They are doing this for the greater good, so it's okay. Really, it's okay."
Wrapped in a towel, I opened the door and suddenly found a man in the hallway. He stumbled slightly and stopped in his tracks.
Jun Chong was holding a set of clean clothes. His long hair fell loosely down his back, with a few strands brushing against his face, giving him an oddly charming look.
"You... what are you doing here?" I stammered.
"I brought you some clothes." He paused before continuing, "How's your injury? Does it hurt?"
I instinctively covered the wound on my arm and smiled as I shook my head. "It's fine; it's almost healed."
"Anxin—"
"I'll change first. Thank you for bringing them over."
I snatched the clothes from him and turned back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. My heart raced; my eyes were red from crying, and I didn't want him to see that, so I kept my head down.
I hadn't expected him to show up, and now tears threatened to flow again. I shook my head vigorously to suppress them. "There's no reason to cry. Once I change clothes and go out, I must smile."
After changing into the clothes, I stepped out again. He was still there. I had promised myself to smile, so even though I felt miserable, I forced a smile. "Why are you still here? Doesn’t Molin need help over there? And what about Grandpa? Is there anything going on? He and the village chief refuse to leave; I'm really worried. I should go check—uh!"
Jun Chong suddenly cupped my face in his hands and leaned down to silence my rambling lips with his own. I froze for a moment; his breath was so intense as he pried my lips apart. His agile tongue slipped in, bringing a wave of intimacy that made me unexpectedly tear up even more. I let the tears flow freely as he deepened the kiss, neither pushing him away nor pulling him closer.
It wasn't until he voluntarily released me that I remained staring straight ahead, silent.
"Anxin, I know you're hurting inside, but he has teamed up with Lin Shan. Your Red Spider Lily has been forced to bloom again and can't be suppressed any longer. I'm afraid that when things escalate and both sides are evenly matched, Lin Shan will take advantage of it to strike at you. So we must actively weaken their power; this way—"
"Even a cornered dog will jump over a wall. Aren't you afraid that their strength might weaken, and Lin Shan might turn against me?"
He didn't explain. I could only bear it alone, thinking that they were doing it for the greater good, so it was fine. But with his words, my heart felt even heavier.
"It won't happen. He needs to heal, and Refine Ghost is the best medicine, so you won't be in any danger."
I bit my lip tightly and finally managed to say three words, "Thank you."
"Anxin, this incident came up suddenly, and I didn't have time to tell you. It's my fault. As long as you're not angry, I'll do anything."
My heart trembled. His tone was just like before he lost his memory, but it only made my heart ache more.
"Jun Chong." I looked up at him. The dark pupils held a familiar tenderness that could easily mislead one into thinking his memory had fully returned, but in reality, it hadn't.
"Do you know why I didn't call for you when Little Scar dragged me away that night?" I smiled faintly and removed his hand from my body. "At that time, I thought calling you would be useless; it was all fake. Jun Chong, no matter whether you have amnesia or not, in your heart, I am irreplaceable. Although you can protect me, you can also get hurt. Ever since that time you got injured while searching for Little White Pearl, ever since you returned from the sky after losing your memory, I've made a decision. I don't want to add to your injuries with my own hands, so I chose to endure. Even if it means death, I don't want to see you bleed."
This time I didn't cry; I turned away resolutely.
Some might think I'm selfish—unable to protect myself yet still trying to play the hero—but I want to say that when there truly is an irreplaceable person in your life, when faced with them, any sacrifice becomes acceptable.
In the dimly lit corridor, his tall figure swayed slightly before leaning against the wall. He pressed one hand against his forehead; strands of hair fell down, hiding the emotions on his face. Only his left fist trembled slightly.
I went to the village chief's house. As expected, aside from the injured, only the village chief, grandpa, and a few people close to the village chief remained, including Uncle Yuan Bo.
Molin and Chitaki were absent. Grandpa looked surprised at my appearance but said nothing. Since I chose to stay, they had no objections. According to the village chief, Chitaki went to repair the barrier at the village entrance and completely sealed off this village; our fate would depend on tomorrow.
As darkness gradually fell, I joined the others in taking care of the injured. They knew they couldn't leave and had no complaints; each of them appeared somewhat dispirited.
"Little girl, help me distribute this food to them!" An elderly woman, slightly hunched over, approached me with a small cart, smiling warmly.
"Sure." Those were bowls of Glutinous Rice porridge. Although resources were scarce, it was still necessary to provide for others. I noticed her advanced age and felt curious, so I asked, "Grandma, why haven't you left?"
"My old partner was bitten and turned into a Zombie; he has already been burned to death," she sighed. "We haven't been apart for decades. At my age, I'm close to my own coffin. If I go out, I'll only burden others. It's better to stay here with him; perhaps in hell, we can still be a couple."
When I turned to see the glistening in her eyes, my heart stirred. "Grandma, did you love him very much?"
"How could I not love him? If it weren't for him protecting me back then, I might have died instead. You know, even though he has Dementia and doesn't really recognize me, when I was surrounded by Zombies, he stepped forward to save me. I asked him why he saved me when he didn't even know me. Do you know what he said?"
"W-what did he say?" My voice trembled slightly.
She smiled gently, gazing at the moon above, and softly replied, "He said it was because he had grown accustomed to my presence. Even without memories, he felt that I was the most important person in his life."
In that moment, it felt as if my mind exploded. The ground beneath me began to crack as I stumbled backward, all my resolve crumbling away with her words.
It was then that I realized how absurd I had been.
I had complained about his lack of memories and resented that he didn't truly love me. Little did I know that even without those memories, one could still hold someone dear in their heart and treasure them deeply.
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