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Lin Yating's anxiety and worry permeated the air as she pressed Lily: "Do you really not know where Zhang Rui went? I'm really worried about him. He's been missing for a week, and I'm afraid he might have done something foolish."
Lin Yating anxiously gazed at Lily, her brows slightly furrowed, her eyes filled with concern. Her lips trembled slightly, showing her inner unease. Her hands clenched into fists, displaying her sense of urgency. Her eyes were filled with anticipation, hoping Lily could give her a positive answer. She appeared agitated and restless, desperately wanting to find Zhang Rui and unsure if her friend was safe.
Lily carefully observed Lin Yating's expression, and then she asked, "Is Zhang Rui such an important presence to you? As far as I know, everyone in this club is either eccentric or a loner, so your behavior here seems particularly unusual."
Lin Yating felt a bit embarrassed and tried to explain, "Yes, Zhang Rui is a very important friend to me. We've known each other for a long time, and he's like family to me. I can't just sit by and do nothing when he suddenly disappears. I just want to make sure he's safe."
Lily continued to ask Lin Yating with a tone full of curiosity, her eyes sharp and focused, as if trying to find some kind of clue from her answer. She asked, "Do you know what Zhang Rui likes? Do you know why he came here?" These questions caught Lin Yating off guard, and she struggled to recall what she knew about Zhang Rui. Zhang Rui had shared some mysterious stories with her, but they seemed to be just the tip of the iceberg.
Finally, Lin Yating answered intermittently, "Um... myths, legends, ghosts, and so on." Her voice sounded somewhat unsure, as she herself realized that these answers seemed insufficient to reveal Zhang Rui's true motives.
Lily listened and then said with a playful smile, "It seems like you really know him well." Her words seemed to contain a certain implication, leaving Lin Yating feeling even more confused.
Lin Yating felt a bit awkward. She knew that her relationship with Zhang Rui had become distant recently, as if he had some secrets she didn't know about.
Lily's words made Lin Yating even more confused, and she tried hard to understand what Lily was saying. Lily continued, "In my opinion, Zhang Rui doesn't belong in this world at all. He has a different perception of everything, yet no one is willing to care about him. The only person who cares about him doesn't even know his favorite things."
Lin Yating felt a little annoyed and wanted to argue, believing that she understood Zhang Rui well. But Lily continued, talking about a profound philosophical viewpoint: "A person's existence depends on the extent to which they are needed. The more people need him, the higher his existence; conversely, the lower it is. The person you want, perhaps you had already discarded without knowing."
Lily's words made Lin Yating fall into deep thought. She began to ponder her own value and importance to Zhang Rui. Perhaps she played a more crucial role in Zhang Rui's life, and her indifference might make Zhang Rui feel abandoned. These thoughts intensified her anxiety and worry.
"Existence is a burden of one's own, and the reason why humans can endure this burden is because they have meaning," Lily's voice was deep and profound, her gaze distant, as if transcending time and space, touching upon some profound philosophical truth.
Lin Yating fell silent, as if these words had touched a chord deep within her. She began to ponder the true meaning of their relationship and whether her understanding of Zhang Rui was deep enough. Perhaps, Zhang Rui was searching for his own meaning of existence, a journey that others might not comprehend.
Lin Yating's thoughts grew more complex as she held her head in her hands, quietly crouching in the corner of the classroom, lost in deep introspection. Suddenly, she realized her past actions, constantly trying to save Zhang Rui from bullying, leaving him passively smiling in response, while she failed to truly understand his inner turmoil and pain.
She recalled Zhang Rui's forced smile and how he always faced external pressures with her help. Lin Yating felt that her behavior was too selfish and shortsighted. She had always been concerned about Zhang Rui whom she knew, without truly understanding him, and even ignoring his real needs.
This self-reflection made her feel that her mistakes were outrageous. She decided to change her attitude, not just blindly help Zhang Rui, but to truly understand him and build a deeper friendship with him, rather than just superficially saving and caring for him. She hoped to truly support him, to help him find his own strength, rather than just relying on her.
Lin Yating's thinking gradually delves into the realm of philosophy. She begins to question the relationship between humanity and existence, as well as the connection between herself and Zhang Rui. She ponders on the human desire and pursuit for existence, and whether these desires can truly bring about meaning. Perhaps, existence itself is a burden, and the reason why humans endure this burden is because they find some meaning, some reasons to keep moving forward.
However, she also understands that this meaning is not always easy to find. Just like her approach to Zhang Rui, she longs for his past, but ignores his present and future. She realizes that perhaps she is the one being cold-hearted, because she cannot let go of the past, yet turns a blind eye to his changes.
These thoughts have left Lin Yating feeling inner turmoil and unease. She knows she needs more time to sort out these complex emotions and contradictions. She has decided to make a greater effort to understand Zhang Rui and, at the same time, to face her own inner feelings more sincerely in order to find a deeper connection and a more genuine friendship.
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