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"Look, there's nothing that can't be seen."
Li Father's gaze shifted from the flower-patterned ceiling to his wife, Li Liangcai's Mother. Since arriving at the morgue, her eyes had not left Li Liangcai's body. Through the white cloth covering him, it seemed she could see her son’s face directly.
But clearly, apart from the rise and fall of the cloth, she could see nothing. Jiang He observed Li Mother; every moment, she seemed ready to reach out and lift the cloth, yet whenever her hand hovered in mid-air, she would tremble and pull it back. After several attempts, she finally let her hands drop.
The police had already informed Li Liangcai's parents of the cause of death—a severe head injury that exposed his brain. As they faced the thin white sheet, the elderly couple lacked the courage to look at their son one last time. It was as if avoiding seeing the body would somehow keep Li Liangcai alive forever.
In the end, they did not lift the cloth, and Yuan Jun had already contacted the funeral home to take Li Liangcai's body away.
Throughout the journey, they exchanged no words. Li Father rode an electric bike with his wife seated behind him. Li Mother wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back. The bumpy road caused their bodies to jolt together, creating a scene that was both comical and deeply sorrowful.
Suddenly, Li Mother appeared to age visibly; by the time they returned home from the hospital, she looked like a woman in her fifties.
Li Father led a few people into the house and pointed toward a room at the far end.
"That’s Liang Cai's bedroom."
Old Shao nodded slightly and guided everyone to Li Liangcai's room.
Sadness lingered as they closed the bedroom door behind them, isolating Li Liangcai's parents outside. Xu Yiman finally dared to ask, "Old Shao, have you found anything? Why are we in Li Liangcai's bedroom? Are we looking for something?"
Old Shao was surveying the room; it was about twenty square meters in size. Upon entering, a wooden bed was positioned east-west. To the left of the bed against the wall stood a small cabinet. From its style and rough exterior, it was clear that this cabinet had been handmade from assembled wood.
To the left of the bed stood a large fan that looked somewhat old. On the west wall was a desk accompanied by a bookshelf; like the rough cabinet, these two pieces were also homemade. Although crude and simple in design, both were remarkably clean and attractive.
Someone had even taken care to apply wallpaper over these items, giving them a fresh and elegant appearance.
On the bedside table, a Heart-Shaped Mirror was connected to it, and scattered on the table were some Cosmetics, not brand names, but rather low-quality products that Xu Yiman had never heard of, likely produced by unknown manufacturers.
The room was tidy and clean, with the bedding and pillows on the bed neatly arranged.
"What was your first impression when you walked in?" Old Shao did not respond to Xu Yiman's question but instead posed one to her.
Xu Yiman thought for a moment and replied, "Um, it felt very clean?"
"Fragrant," Jiang He interjected. "When I first walked in, I noticed how fragrant this room is. The scent is coming from the cabinet."
Without regard for privacy, Jiang He pulled open the Cabinet door.
"It's all women's clothes."
At that moment, when the Cabinet was opened, Yuan Jun saw that the hanging rod inside was filled with clothes—colorful dresses, Cartoon-Style Hoodies, Skirts, Knitwear, and more. Below these hanging garments were neatly stacked Jeans, Black Leggings, various Short Skirts and Shorts, along with some Black Stockings.
Seeing these clothes, Yuan Jun couldn't help but exclaim.
"The scent of laundry detergent," Jiang He remarked. "These clothes are very clean."
"A cross-dressing fetish," Yuan Jun said in amazement.
Xu Yiman shook her head and spoke up. "No, Li Liangcai doesn't have a cross-dressing fetish; it's a gender identity disorder."
"What's the difference?" Yuan Jun asked, scratching his head.
Xu Yiman nodded seriously and explained, "It's quite different. A cross-dressing fetish is a type of sexual inversion where individuals derive sexual satisfaction from wearing clothes of the opposite gender without rejecting their own gender identity. Anything that doesn't primarily satisfy sexual desire, like ordinary role-playing, isn't considered a cross-dressing fetish. Moreover, those with a cross-dressing fetish usually have a heterosexual orientation."
Xu Yiman looked at the full rack of women's clothing and said, "As for Li Liangcai, it's quite obvious that he has a gender identity disorder. This disorder can be innate or developed due to environmental factors. However, Li Liangcai's parents are strongly opposed to it, indicating that his gender identity disorder is likely innate."
"Generally, a child develops a sense of gender awareness by the age of three, recognizing the strong differences between themselves and the opposite sex, leading them to play more with boys if they are boys, and girls if they are girls. But Li Liangcai does not have this awareness; he prefers to play with girls and instinctively enjoys doing what girls do. Furthermore, he has a strong aversion to his own reproductive organs and is attracted to boys during puberty. This is related to hormone secretion in the body, and treating it can be quite complicated."
Xu Yiman felt that this term was inappropriate and added, "However, in some developed countries, this is no longer considered a disorder. Perhaps, as Li Liangcai's father said, he was meant to have the soul of a girl but was mistakenly placed in the wrong body by God."
No one could understand what it felt like to have a gender identity disorder. No one knew what thoughts crossed Li Liangcai's mind every time he looked in the mirror. Nor did anyone realize how strong he must be to endure the ridicule of society and the opposition from his parents.
People in our country have not yet reached this level of acceptance. Xu Yiman did not want to think about how much malice Li Liangcai would face if he truly transitioned or how much pressure he would endure. He had no power or influence; he was just an ordinary person who was born into the wrong gender.
"Isn't there something strange about this?" Old Shao asked.
"Most of the clothes are designer brands," Jiang He replied. "Li Liangcai's father is a mechanic, and his mother is a cleaner. Given their financial situation, it's impossible for them to buy so many clothes for him."
Old Shao nodded. "Exactly, where did these clothes come from?"
Old Shao asked Li Liangcai's parents, and Li Liangcai's mother told everyone that they were opposed to Liang Cai seeing himself as a girl and would never buy him women's clothing. Most of Li Liangcai's clothes were brought home by him; at first, Li Liangcai's mother thought he had stolen her money but later realized that their household finances hadn't changed at all.
One day, Li Liangcai's mother couldn't hold back any longer. She knew those clothes weren't cheap; how could a child afford to buy so many when their monthly allowance barely covered a single sleeve of clothing? She feared that Li Liangcai might be doing something wrong and stopped him to ask.
Li Liangcai simply said that these clothes were given to him by one of his best friends, but he didn't know who that friend really was.
"That would be Ge Dongyun," Li Father interjected at this point. "Look at the girls he plays with; aside from that kid, who else has so much money? Always giving things away? Her monthly allowance is probably more than our combined monthly salaries."
"Are you sure?" Old Shao suddenly became serious.
Li Father nodded but then shook his head. "If that's the case, I can't be entirely certain. But there were a few times I saw Ge Dongyun slip some boxes to Liang Cai—those boxes for clothes. Although I didn't see those clothes were all from her, it just makes sense; no one else would keep buying clothes for someone unless they had too much money to burn."
At this point, Li Father was fuming. "It's all that girl's fault. If it weren't for her always dragging Liang Cai around, Liang Cai wouldn't have those clothes to wear. You know, there were times I wanted to just burn all those clothes. If it weren't for my spouse stopping me, I..."
He sighed again.
Old Shao shook his head helplessly, recalling the first time he met Li Liangcai's parents. They had been so timid and humble, trembling in front of wealthy and powerful people, even though those people had nothing to do with them. He didn't want Li Liangcai to play with Ge Dongyun, but he didn't dare approach Ge Dongyun either. In his eyes, they were on completely different levels; how could he possibly advise someone like that?
Just then, Jiang He walked out of the bedroom and said, "I just found a notebook under the pillow where Li Liangcai sleeps. It looks like it might be her diary. Have you seen it before?"
Li Liangcai's parents shook their heads; they had never seen her with a diary.
Hidden under the pillow, it was clear she didn't want anyone to discover it. It was easy to imagine that this notebook contained something quite private for Li Liangcai. With her parents' consent, everyone opened the diary.
The diary was quite thick, and Li Liangcai had already filled about half of it. Jiang He held the notebook in one hand while quickly flipping through the pages with the other. His speed was impressive—he could read ten lines at a glance—making it hard for the others to keep up; the words seemed to crawl like insects, impossible to decipher.
Yet Jiang He never slowed down; those words were etched deeply into his mind.
When he turned to the last page with writing on it, a nearly buried truth suddenly surfaced in Jiang He's mind.
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