After this matter was settled, Yan Junde was truly stripped of his police uniform and was no longer an officer. On the phone, Yan Junde said he had no regrets; if he hadn’t thrown that punch, then he would have regretted it. That was just his character—he never regretted what he did. You could call him reckless, but I often wondered what would have happened if I had been the one to throw that punch.
We kept our promise and disbanded the Special Investigation Team. During this time, the Vice Minister called me and said, "Are you all foolish? In front of so many people, you didn’t give the Minister any face. Do you think all leaders are like Li the Tiger from Yuzhou City? This situation could have been handled differently. If Yan Junde had just apologized and backed down a bit, there might have been room for mediation, and it wouldn’t have come to him being stripped of everything."
The Vice Minister spoke with a tone of frustration, "Do you realize how hard it is to get into this Special Investigation Team? You were personally selected by me. Just like that, you disband? Do you think the Minister will be pleased?"
Since Yan Junde had no regrets, I felt even less regretful. I replied, "If I had to do it again, I would still make the same choice. There are many things in this world that can be compromised, but some things cannot. Some big shots may compromise, but we in the Special Investigation Team will never back down. Wasn’t that the very purpose when you formed the Special Investigation Team?"
All I could hear on the other end was static; the Vice Minister was silent for a long time before saying, "You brat, I’m here to educate you, not the other way around..." Before I could say anything else, he hung up. It seemed that Yan Junde had no chance of turning things around; decisions made by the Minister were not to be defied.
I never expected that our Special Investigation Team would be disbanded so hastily after less than a year of establishment. It looked like the investigation into Captain Shi and Wang Gang's disappearance would fall solely on my shoulders. After the disbandment of the Special Investigation Team, Juan Juan and I naturally returned to Yuzhou City.
Juan Juan continued her work as a consultant at the medical school, busy as ever. As for me, I resumed my role as an archivist at the Yuzhou City Public Security Bureau. When I returned, the intern girl had already been promoted to a full-time position responsible for document management.
"I can’t believe that when I came back to work, I ended up being your subordinate," I said helplessly to the intern girl.
"Brother Shao, I heard your Special Investigation Team solved quite a few puzzling cases!" The intern girl seemed excited. "Can you tell me about them?"
"Hmm... stories..."
After leaving the Special Investigation Team, Marie returned to France to continue her research on various paranormal events. Later on, it was rumored that she established a hacker alliance dedicated to attacking many illegal websites on the dark web, quickly becoming a legendary figure among hackers. Yan Junde found a security job in his small town; he mentioned that his mother was very supportive of him.
Yan Junde's mother said, "If I had been there at that time, it wouldn’t have just been a punch; I would have kicked too."
In the blink of an eye, more than two months passed by uneventfully. Juan Juan turned thirty-one after her birthday; faint crow's feet began to show at the corners of her eyes. Although she still looked young and charming to me, many considered her age to be well past the typical age for marriage.
On Juan Juan's thirty-first birthday, I magically produced a ring and knelt down to propose to her. For the first time, I saw Juan Juan cry like a little girl; whether it was tears of joy or not was uncertain. We were finally getting married—a word I had never dared to imagine before. Life should have been joyful in its simplicity, yet something felt missing in my heart.
The wedding date was chosen by our parents through an old Taoist priest. If Yan Junde knew about this news, he would surely call it superstition; Marie would probably say that one shouldn’t dismiss things they don’t understand as superstition—after all, if something has been passed down for thousands of years, there must be some truth behind it.
The wedding invitations had already been sent out; in a month’s time, I would become a married man—just thinking about it made me a bit excited. Yan Junde promised he would definitely come and drink until he couldn’t anymore; Marie had already reserved her role as maid of honor. During our phone conversations, we tacitly avoided mentioning what happened in the Special Investigation Team—as if that year had simply been forgotten time.
We tacitly agreed not to mention the complex emotions brought about by that case, burying the darkness we had witnessed deep within our hearts. Like walking corpses, we felt what we were supposed to feel and smiled when it was time to be happy.
That day, Li the Tiger called me into his office. It had been a year since we last met, and he still wore a fierce expression. He said, "How have you been these past few months? Stuck in the archives all day, I thought you might go crazy."
I shrugged and replied, "It's just the same as before. I spent a year in the archives before, and now I've only been back for less than three months. That's much shorter compared to before. You never asked me how I managed not to go crazy back then." As I spoke, I picked up a jar of tea from his desk. "You still have this?"
Li the Tiger frowned and said, "Is it really the same? Two years ago, I had you stay in the archives for a year because at that time Captain Shi and Wang Gang had just gone missing. You were too ambitious; if you went out like that, it wouldn't take long before you'd come back defeated. To temper your aggression, I made you stay there quietly for a year."
I stopped what I was doing and looked at Li the Tiger seriously.
He continued, "But now that you're back, look at what you've become. I don't see any sense of responsibility in you; there's no backbone at all. I wanted to temper your aggression, not break your spirit! Do you understand that this is different?"
"Think about it," Li the Tiger waved his hand dismissively, seeming quite angry. It was the first time I had seen him express such emotion.
In three days, our wedding would take place, and both Juan Juan and I were feeling nervous. Friends and family had already traveled from other cities to Yuzhou City, eager to witness our wedding. That evening, Juan Juan looked at me and said, "It's strange; we've been breaking up and getting back together for five or six years now without realizing it. Back then, I didn't even know what attracted me to you. You say you have no money or power—how strange is that?"
I felt a pang of reflection as well. What was it really? Captain Shi regarded me as his best disciple; Li the Tiger valued me highly; even the Vice Minister personally called me. And yet here I was—a nobody with nothing to my name.
The night before our wedding, Juan Juan told me, "Tomorrow Mary and Yan Junde will be here; then our groomsmen and bridesmaids will all be gathered. Are you nervous?"
"Nervous? Of course I'm nervous," I laughed. "More so than when I was leading the Special Investigation Team."
After saying that, we both fell into a brief silence. Juan Juan said, "I'll head home tonight; come pick me up tomorrow. After that, I'll officially become your wife."
I struggled to sleep late into the night. On this joyous occasion, I felt anything but happy. Just then, my phone rang—it was Li the Tiger calling me. I quickly answered and said, "Calling me this late isn't just to congratulate me on my wedding, is it? As my superior, you're supposed to give a speech tomorrow—are you prepared?"
Li the Tiger's response was brief: "Right now, come to the Martyrs' Cemetery to find me. I'm waiting for you."
With that, he hung up abruptly. Confused by his words, I felt a flicker of excitement within me. Throwing on some clothes, I took a taxi straight to the cemetery. The driver was chatty; he said, "You look like a cop—am I right? I've got a buddy who's also a cop; unfortunately, he sacrificed himself... but before he died, he saved a little girl."
At the Martyrs' Cemetery, Li the Tiger stood at the entrance waiting for me. When he saw me arrive, he said, "Do you see those lying here?"
I nodded.
"That's good to hear," Li the Tiger said. "I won't talk about the superficial stuff. If you look at this land and don't feel any ripples in your heart, then I won't bother talking to you anymore. Remember what Captain Shi said before he went missing? He always told me that you were a promising kid, destined to be one of the top detectives."
"Do you know why Captain Shi and I value you so much? Why Old Qin is closest to you?" Li the Tiger asked as he gazed at the rows of tombstones.
I shook my head.
"It's because we see ourselves in you," Li the Tiger continued. "We see what a police officer should be like. We see someone who will pursue the truth relentlessly, who will not rest until the Killer is caught. In our line of work, darkness is our norm. The world can be dark and cruel. Human hearts can be dark and twisted. And we are the lantern bearers in that darkness. If the world is dark, we illuminate it as best we can; if human hearts are dark, we shine a light on one person at a time. That’s what justifies wearing this uniform."
Tears welled up in my eyes.
"Don't think that hiding yourself away or freezing your heart will help you forget everything," Li the Tiger continued. "I know about that case too. With our strength, with the Special Investigation Team's strength, even with the power of an entire nation, it’s hard to erase such deep-seated darkness. But these things still need to be done; someone has to do them."
"We do things not because there is hope, but because by doing them, we create hope," Li the Tiger said. "No matter how much you try to disguise it, life with the Special Investigation Team is your true normalcy; it’s the life you truly desire. Don’t deceive yourself or others."
At last, I understood what was missing.
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