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墨書 Inktalez
During chemotherapy, Liu Jian's health improved significantly. I wanted to capture his appearance during this time so that I could keep it as a memory. However, after several rounds of treatment, his condition worsened again.
While I was interning, I checked my graduate school exam results. When Liu Jian found out, he said to me, "Xiao Wan, you should go for your graduate studies this year."
"In Beijing," I replied, stunned. "What about you?"
He smiled softly and said, "Me? I'll be waiting for you at home."
I shook my head. "I don't want that."
He gently patted my head and said, "Xiao Wan, be good. You need to study hard."
"I'll be hospitalized in Beijing; they have better treatment there."
I hugged him tightly, tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to be apart from him. But I knew that for my future, I had to pursue my graduate studies in Beijing. Only then could I find a good job there. Only then could I establish myself in the city. Only then could I take care of myself and him.
I returned to Beijing and completed my graduation procedures at school. Together with Liu Jian, we searched for an apartment. We found a place close to the hospital so that it would be convenient for him to receive treatment.
On the day of my move, I met Liu Jian's new roommate. Her name was Yongmei. Yongmei was a warm and cheerful girl. She was a few years older than me, so I called her sister. She was thirty-one this year and had a son and a daughter. She had been diagnosed with cancer for over two years. Her husband owned a company, and they were financially stable. However, after her diagnosis, he divorced her. She was left to care for two children while undergoing treatment.
She told me she was very tired, but she didn't want to give up. She wanted to see her children grow up and be there for them. She also said that even though she was sick, she wanted to live positively. Even in the face of death, she would greet it with a smile. Looking at her, I suddenly understood that cancer wasn't as terrifying as it seemed. What was truly frightening was giving up on life itself.
Yongmei and I became good friends. We often chatted, sharing our lives and encouraging each other. Together, we faced every challenge with laughter.
We will bravely walk towards the future. Liu Jian, you can rest assured that I will not give up on you. I want to be by your side, walking together all the way. No matter the wind and rain, no matter the hardships or illnesses, I will always be there for you. Because I love you.
Liu Jian and I returned to the apartment he rented, which looked a bit messy, clearly showing that it hadn't been tidied up for a while. Liu Jian explained that he hadn't been home much lately and promised to clean up tomorrow. I asked him when he would need to go to the hospital, expressing my desire to accompany him. We discussed Liu Jian's condition and future plans. He mentioned that he wouldn't need chemotherapy for a while; once the results came out, he had already quit his previous job and planned to look for part-time work at home while waiting for my graduate school results.
I decided to find a job, and Liu Jian helped me revise my resume. I explained that I wanted to work to ease Liu Jian's financial burden. While walking in the neighborhood, we saw children getting out of school and elderly people dancing in the square. Liu Jian remarked how he used to find these activities boring but now appreciated them. I pulled him into the dance group; despite his poor health, we both tried our best to participate.
Before Liu Jian started his second round of chemotherapy, I worked hard to adjust my emotions and continued supporting him. I brought him meals at the hospital; even though he couldn't eat much due to the chemotherapy, I encouraged him to eat as much as he could. During my visits, I met another cancer patient and learned more about cancer and chemotherapy, which made me feel even sadder.
I performed well at work but faced significant pressure and often worked overtime. One day, I received a call from my mother and lost control of my emotions, blaming my parents for not caring about me. I continued to accompany Liu Jian at the hospital; we watched "Eternal Love" together, reminiscing about our past. I made efforts to find ways to treat Liu Jian's illness, but progress was slow, leaving me anxious. Liu Jian noticed my agitation and tried to distract me by suggesting outings and gatherings.
We hosted a party at home, inviting many friends in hopes of bringing joy to Liu Jian. After the party, he asked if I had argued with my family; I hesitated and didn't want to discuss it in depth. Liu Jian urged me not to take on too much responsibility because of his illness and suggested that if it became too burdensome for me, we could break up.
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