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Gradually, I came to understand her more. However, she seemed unwilling to bring up her mother's passing and her father's current situation. There were several times when I casually asked about it, but she always remained silent. In fact, each of us has things we'd rather not talk about, buried deep in our subconscious. Though unknown to others, these things can occasionally affect our behavior and personality. I remember a colleague once told me that he used to have a strong addiction to smoking, but due to health reasons, he had to quit. The process was painful, but physical withdrawal symptoms typically disappeared after three days, leaving only psychological cravings. Even though he didn't think about smoking during the day, he would still dream about it at night. I explained to him that this is what we call the subconscious. Consciousness is something we can all perceive, but the subconscious is not. It's like a cunning fox that only comes out in dreams at night to remind you. The invention of the cup is a product of consciousness, but the desire to drink water is the true internal cause for the invention of the cup.
Luo Qian is similar. Although she doesn't want to talk about her family, it's clear that the damage her parents caused her from a young age is significant. She wishes she had someone to confide in, but her lack of security from a young age makes her hesitant. In reality, she has a defensive line in her heart that ordinary people cannot cross. Only by crossing this line can one completely open her heart and release the suppressed emotions within.
In the following days, sometimes when I worked late at night or on weekends, I would go to City South Bathhouse alone to find her. She usually worked the night shift and only had four days off each month. The nature of her work caused her to be awake at odd hours, resting in the company dorm during the day and energetically massaging clients at night. I would always request Luo Qian to give me a massage, and if she happened to be massaging a client, I would silently wait for her on the sofa in the lobby.
"You don't have to spend money to come over. Next time, if you're tired, just tell me, come to my dorm and I'll give you a free massage." She didn't want rumors to spread in the shop. Obviously, several technicians had already noticed my presence and were whispering about our relationship.
I, on the other hand, was not worried about our relationship being gossiped about by others after entering City South Bathhouse. However, if I walked out from the massage parlor, I was extremely guarded. Personally, I didn't think that being a masseuse was a legitimate and legal profession, often associated with illegal activities like those depicted on TV. Therefore, I didn't want others to know about the relationship between me and Luo Qian. In other words, it would be best if only she and I knew about our relationship. Perhaps I was being selfish, because for her, her identity was certain, while I was just a mysterious person who often came to see her.
I promised her that I wouldn't go to the shop to see her anymore, but would instead make plans to meet her in a café or go to the library. However, the condition was that we should maintain distance as much as possible in public places. At first, she refused, thinking that this approach was not good for either of us. But in the end, she agreed to compromise, and I don't know the reasons behind it. In any case, our relationship developed better and better, and she gradually began to trust me and was willing to share many things with me.
I admit that I was deeply impressed by her statement about wanting to kill her father when we had our first meal together. I couldn't even figure out in the end whether I really liked her or just saw her as an object of my research. I kept testing her, sometimes watching movies with her, choosing a French film with a father-daughter theme, "Léon: The Professional," and teasingly asking her what she thought about the storyline of a young girl falling in love with an older man after we finished watching it. She always looked at me expressionlessly, silent. I remember reading a book by the psychologist Jung a long time ago, which mentioned that the father is the first lover of the daughter and the animus image. Therefore, the way a father treats his daughter will directly influence her judgment of romantic relationships and may even subtly influence her views on choosing a partner. I couldn't help but become more interested in Luo Qian's father.
About a month later, something happened.
It was just past midnight that night, and I was still working overtime at the company on a client's business solution. Xiao Hui and I had just completed the initial research work for this client, and we needed to form a business solution according to the client's requirements. If we could complete this stage and satisfy the client, we could apply for a payment according to the contract terms. In reality, as the personnel implementing the project, our base salary is only a part of our income, and the bulk of our income comes from the commission after obtaining the project payment. For this reason, we had been working hard overtime these days, hoping to finish early.
"Hey, are you available right now? I've run into some trouble... I'm really scared," Luo Qian said over the phone. This is the first time she has reached out to me for help.
"What's wrong? What happened?" I stopped what I was doing and walked out of the office, asking quietly in a corner.
"Are you able to come to my dorm right now? I need to talk to you in person," she pleaded.
"Okay, wait for me, I'm coming over now," I said before hanging up the phone and returning to the office. I patted Xiao Hui on the shoulder. "Xiao Hui, I have something to take care of. You'll have to handle it tonight, and I'll treat you to dinner later."
Xiao Hui pouted discontentedly and muttered, "Then make sure to give me a bigger cut later. Don't blame me if the client doesn't sign."
I hailed a taxi and hurried to her dormitory. Her dormitory was located in an urban village, where the buildings were crowded together, so the taxi could only stop by the main road. After getting off, I had to navigate through a maze of alleys for about ten minutes. Urban villages were usually inhabited by people working in G City who couldn't afford apartments in the residential areas, so they rented these small buildings in the urban villages. The pedestrians on the street were wearing tank tops and slippers, looking at me, dressed in a suit and tie with leather shoes, as if I didn't belong.
"Bang, bang, bang."
"Who?" Luo Qian asked in a low voice.
"It's me, Wenhao," I replied.
The door opened a crack, and through it I saw her face, pale and weak, looking at me with a hint of fear. After confirming it was me, she opened the door completely and let me in.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?" I quickly slipped into her dorm, closed the door, and asked in a hurry.
Luo Qian hesitated for a moment, still silent, then thought for a moment. She turned to me and said, "I ran into my dad today."
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